Our Strategy to Embracing Adoption Excitement
Lately we’ve been feeling a little frustrated with the adoption process. Rather, I’ve been feeling a little frustrated with the adoption process and Mr. MPB seems to be a bit more relaxed about it all then I am. (This is normal with us, some days I’d give anything to be a little more relaxed and chill like Mr. MPB, but instead I just keep telling him that if we were both that way, then nothing would ever get done).
So, recently we decided that with every big adoption milestone we are going to start buying something for our future child. I’m currently thinking our other big adoption process milestones will probably include:
- Home study completion
- Official approval by our province
- Official approval by the USA government
- Completion of our adoption book
- Officially waiting
This is a pretty darn big step for me, the girl who:
- just unpacked a little green rocking chair which has been in storage for years,
- has nothing to signify any of our losses; and,
- has not bought a single thing for any of our lost 5 babies, not even our first when we should have been innocent to the possibility of miscarriage.
Really, I had been paralyzed by fear. Recurrent pregnancy loss took away so much from me, including my innocence and excitement for a future baby. Rather, I let RPL do that to me. While I’ve tried hard to fight to see happiness throughout, and find hope when I could, the fact is it hasn’t always been easy and sometimes it’s been downright hard.
But, since we’ve chosen to move forward with our family with adoption, I have finally starting to feel like I can live again. I’ve been slowly reclaiming my life by exercising again, not looking at a calendar and automatically calculating my cycle day or simply making travel plans for whenever we want to. And by living again, I’m finding it a lot easier to be more hopeful.
But I still have another area that I need to start reclaiming – hope for our future child, and our future family. Honestly, I feel like it’s time to start thinking beyond the RPL fears of loss and start embracing the excitement of our future child who will join our family through adoption.
In my mind one of the benefits of adoption over any other form of having a child (i.e. surrogacy, gestational carrier, natural pregnancy, etc.) is that we know we will get our child eventually.
Knowing all of this and having a desire to start building our excitement, I’ve suggested to Mr. MPB that we start actually buying a few things for our child. Mr. MPB agrees.
So, to celebrate our home study we bought a picture for our child’s room that is special to us and will hopefully be special to them one day too.
To celebrate our completed home study we are going to buy a pack-and-play playard/playpen of some sort (we are currently eying the one in the photo). We figure this is a pretty reasonable purchase to make early because then no-matter when we get a call we will have somewhere safe for our baby to sleep. And by buying a travel one, we will also have somewhere for our child to safely sleep when we are in the USA. For us, two very practical people, this seems like a very good purchase to make early.
So, here it is, we are going to take some baby steps, and start filling the nursery with more than a little green chair. When the fears start to rise within my chest, I will just focus on the future, our future child and our future family. It will all be worth it.
Any suggestions for what else we should get as we reach our future milestones? As we have the time to shop around, we hope to buy second-hand whenever possible (keeping in mind that not everything should be purchased second hand for safety/sanitary reasons).
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