I’m Ready To Be A Mom!

A while back we felt like we had to start putting together our nursery because we were told that we would need a picture of it for our profile book.  So, we begrudgingly did it. Neither of us were happy about it. Neither of us enjoyed our time at IKEA picking out the required necessities to make our picture look good enough. In fact, it felt forced and we actually both really despised the entire shopping experience.

But, when I stand back and think about what has happened since then, its actually pretty amazing.

It’s almost as though once we were forced to start the room, we’ve voluntarily embraced adding to it.  We add to it whenever we found the right piece for the right price.

The room now includes:

  • The previously purchased crib and mobile that was given to us for free by some very nice people who sold us our pack and play.20150318 - Feeling Like An Imposter1
  • The previously hung pictures and artwork. Some from my mom, some that Mr. MPB bought for ‘me’ at Christmas, and of course a piece of art that was the first purchase we ever made for our child.
  • The little green rocking chair I naively bought years ago.
  • A dresser with a removable change table (bought second hand).
  • An amazing, completely impractical, original 1960’s mid-century modern chair (bought second hand for an amazing price).
  • A bookshelf (we had it in another room and we’ve relocated it to the nursery as it matches the nursery perfectly and was underutilized in the old location).
  • Books! I love books so I’ve pulled out the few I have from my childhood and I seem to be buying more books all the time.

The other really amazing this that is happening now is that I’m finding myself less afraid to step in the room!  It’s no longer a black hole in our house. It is no longer a room I fear in quite the same way.  It’s no longer a room that represents everything we’ve lost, instead I’m starting to see it as a room that represents our future.

While I still feel a bit like an imposter when I buy the odd baby thing, I am starting to get really excited to fill our house and the nursery with more baby stuff (i.e. clothes, diapers, toys, more books, etc.).

Honestly, I’m finally feeling ready for this all to be real.

I’m finally getting really excited about our adoption without having to force myself to be excited.  And this is pretty cool.

I can actually picture having a child in our lives, not just in our hearts.

Come on world, make this happen. I’m ready to be a mom already!

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61 Comments on “I’m Ready To Be A Mom!

  1. When Callie and I were TTC, it was soooo hard to go into the room that we were setting up as a nursery when we just felt that no baby would ever be in there. When we decided to become foster parents about 9 months into unsuccessful TTC, we started gearing up for welcoming a little one into our lives, even if it was just temporarily. When i tell you that that room went from being a place that was a graveyard for all of our shattered dreams, to a place where hope and love and strangely, peace, were abundant, and that they were tangible in the form of a crib with fresh sheets, and a rocking chair with a teddy bear throw on it. It brought us together, where slowly over time, we started to dream again, and have faith, started to heal as a family. Hopefully, this new adventure in preparing a space for your future little one is helping to bring all of that back. The excitement and the readiness to start this new chapter of your life is so evident in this post. I hope the adoption agency gets it together already!!! Keeping you and the Mr. in my thoughts and prayers!

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    • Thank you so much for sharing!! I love that you understand the transformation I am experiencing right now!! Yes, there will still be hard days, but it’s pretty awesome that the feelings of hope and excitement are starting to take-over. It’s like that room is ready and I am ready!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s really good! I was really afraid to make a nursery. That was one of my complaints about the matching process. Got to make your home picture perfect. I swore that I would never make a nursery until I actually had a baby. I am glad you are enjoying the nursery.

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    • I completely agree with you about this being a problem with the matching process – there are a number of things I don’t like about it, and this one was really hard for me at the time. Like you, I swore I wouldn’t do a single thing for our future child until they were actually alive and in my arms, and here we are now putting together a room. And what’s weirder is now I’m actually feeling okay about it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I think that maybe those of us (myself included) who live and die by our fears (justifiable as the fears are) have it backwards. We didn’t have our son’s room ready until a sneeze before he arrived. And we moved out of that house a few short months later. We never did anything to his room in our current home but move in his stuff. And I’ve been too afraid to do anything but buy a box of diapers and a second hand bassinet that I promptly hid in the garage for this hard-won baby — even though with my issues s/he could show up any day now. Reading this post made me think that I am not demonstrating my faith that this child will come home. I am crouched down behind my fear hoping to avoid more loss and heartbreak. Yet I told you I thought readying the room in your home might help you ready yourself. What a hypocrite I am! Thank you for this post – it has compelled me to reconsider the meaning of my own actions and lack of mindfulness. I want to embrace and live the belief that this baby is coming home too.

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      • I’m excited to hear that you too want to embrace the believe that your baby is coming home! Does this mean you are ready to accept gifts for your little one?
        I am glad this post has helped you see that you too have been hiding behind your fears. I’ve known for a long time that I’ve been hiding behind all the fears, and yet, you were right, for us to be forced to ready the room helped us actually start to ready our hearts and minds. Now, I am actually a bit surprised that I am actually getting excited now. As I said, it’s taken me some time to embrace it, and I do still have some bad days, but it’s nice to be having more excited days now.
        Love to you my friend, and wishing you more excited days ahead of you.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. It must be so hard to have that room ready, but still be waiting for baby. I think that just by creating a space for baby, you’re welcoming him/her into your lives. I love your proclamation that you’re ready to be a mom! You two will be great parents 🙂

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    • Thanks so much my friend! It is hard to have a waiting room, but at least now it’s a room that I’m not so afraid of and a room that I’m actually starting to see with new eyes full of excitement and love. It’s a pretty refreshing outlook.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love everything about this! I just love how you are embracing the hard stuff and making it into a beautiful experience! 🙂

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  5. I love this and so understand! We never got around to setting up the nursery for my son, because he was born so prematurely. But on his first birthday (in heaven), I was finally sick of looking at the room that should-have-been but was now just a dumping ground for crap. So we cleaned it out and painted it and hung shelves with the stuffed animals and books that we had gotten for him. My mother-in-law even made us new curtains. Now, I can envision it becoming the nursery I always dreamed of when we have his sibling some day. It makes me happy instead of sad. So I get it!

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    • Thank you so much for understanding, and sharing. Your nursery sounds beautiful and filled with love and hope. I’m glad i too now see the nursery as a room filled with hope and love. 🙂

      Like

  6. You have no idea how happy this post make me! Sooooooo happy! I love that you are adding to the room. You are going to be an amazing mom!

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    • Thanks so much my friend! It’s nice to finally be actually happy and excited. I’m still nervous, because seriously I think everyone should be a little nervous about the idea being responsible for a little human being, but it’s a good kind of nervous. 🙂

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    • Thanks Molly!! I wish I knew who to neg so that we could all neg them! Although, that would probably just make them put our paperwork back to the bottom of the pile. So maybe no nagging is best. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Your words radiate hope and joy – I can feel the positive emotional momentum picking up as I read – gorgeous! I hope the room is full of baby as well as love very soon. xx

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  8. I love this post! So positive! I think that once you get started, you just can’t stop. I know I was like that, even though I feared miscarriage at all times. It’s uncontrollable, in a good way!

    Bring on the baby!

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  9. I’m so glad you’re able to finally be excited about it! You deserve to enjoy these moments preparing for your precious child that, I believe in my heart, is coming home to you soon!

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  10. You are SO ready to be a mom! And I can’t wait for the day you write a post that says you’re matched and then the one where you’re finally bringing baby home! 🙂

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    • I am so excited for the day that we are matched and then get to bring the baby home. Honestly, I really want an instant match so I don’t even have to wait through a pregnancy and fear a birth mother changing their mind. That would be my ideal. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. That sounds SO exciting, and I am really happy for you. I know what you mean about that empty room feeling like a black hole — we’re not on the other side of that part yet, but I’m so very happy to hear that you are, and that it gets better. I’m a sucker for cute baby things and can’t wait to feel like we can start preparing that space.

    You ARE so ready to be a mama, and you’re going to rock at it. It’s really fun to imagine you adding to the room and dreaming. 🙂 I’m dreaming for you, and dreaming that your baby might already exist, slowly growing in someone’s tummy, getting bigger and bigger and ready to meet you and come home to the beautiful room you’ve prepared!

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  12. I love, love, LOVE this post!! I’m so happy that you’re finally getting excited about things, and no longer afraid of that room!! Have fun finding the perfect things to add to the nursery!! Yay!! ❤

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  13. This post made my day. I love that this transition is happening. I’m pretty sure I once said that this might happen but I’m over the moon to hear the peace and openness in your tone now that the process of “being ready” is well underway. Plus now I can buy you and Mr. MPB something for your growing collection of items for your soon-to-be-home baby. Time has been flying lately so I am confident baby really will be home faster than you think.

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    • You are to sweet my friend. I was once very scared of accepting gifts before the actual arrival of our little one, but I might just be ready to because I KNOW our little one is coming. 🙂
      I suspect at some point you did say this would happen, and I am glad that it is starting to! It’s clearly a process that requires the time and space to unfold. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Yes! This is so wonderful…it’s almost like you know…it your heart…that it is happening…who knows exactly when…but it’s happening! And you will have a baby to put in that crib..in their room 🙂 So exciting!! I feel the happiness from this post…you are on your way to becoming a mom!! 🙂 xoxo

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  15. I love this post! Your nursery sounds wonderful and you have found so many steals. I am so glad that it is easier and easier to go there and embrace that someday, sooner than later, an actual baby will be living there. I can completely understand it being a black hole previously, but how nice that it is now a room of hope and you feel more comfortable with it being what it is — a future home for a future baby that is not so much hypothetical anymore, just arrival date TBD. I can feel your joy in this post and it makes me smile!

    Like

    • Thank you so much for this Jess. Just reading your comment made me smile because it is becoming easier and easier to see the someday and experience the hope! And it’s so very nice to be moving out of the black hole.

      Like

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  17. How wonderful – and how exciting!! It’s wonderful how time and moving forward with adoption has slowly allowed you to process your view on the nursery room and make it a place you can be unafraid of. Especially as it seems to have happened all by itself. You are growing and changing every day and I really smiled reading this 🙂

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    • Thanks so much Faye! I think my favourite part of this process unfolding is that asides from one strong kick to the butt to make us buy the crib and set up the basics, we’ve just sort of done everything else and somehow just started enjoying it. 🙂

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