First, I want to quickly say that we have had contact from Baby MPB’s birthmother.  I will not share her story, but I will say she’s safe and she and baby are okay.

Second, as I was finishing up the last of our Christmas gift shopping, I realized we have not chosen a gift for Baby MPB’s birthmother.    We want to get her something, we want to spoil her just a little bit.  We have absolutely no idea what to get for her.  Unlike shopping for one of our siblings, a parent or a friend, we have no ideas.

Unlike most people in our lives we don’t know what she has and what she doesn’t have.  We don’t know what she wants or what she needs.

Photo Source: Adapted from Clip Art

Photo Source: Adapted from Clip Art

We have thought about sending her clothing, but that just doesn’t feel right.  We could send some chocolates, but that really doesn’t feel right either.  Another idea we’ve had is a handmade gift from Baby MPB, but I honestly cannot commit to getting something made this weekend in order for us to get it in the mail so it arrives before Christmas.  That, and I’m completely clueless when it comes to crafts, so crafting is a massive challenge for me that just isn’t going to happen right now.  Another idea is a gift card to somewhere, but that feels so incredibly impersonal and of course to do this I would have to figure out the technicalities of getting her a gift card to a store in the USA when we live in Canada.

At the end of the day, one thing I know is that many of the things we (as in the MPB family) take for granted in life, she does not even have.  So, sending her something that could come off as pretentious or come off as useless, simply doesn’t appeal to me.

This of course is the conundrum – I have no idea what those things are.  I want to be considerate.  I want her to be spoiled by someone who loves her.  Really, I just want to bring some joy to her Christmas.

So, my questions today is what can we get for her this weekend that so that we can get it into the mail ASAP?

And one last note, do you know how excited I am to be done Christmas shopping?!  Once this gift is bought, I am done!

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My Life Is More Then Just Work

I am currently a consultant in my university educated profession.  I used to work for a big company which I quit after our 4th loss.  I left so that I could focus on my physical and mental well being. I left so that we could try one more pregnancy without the 70+ hour work weeks, high stress and a not very nice boss.  Removing work stress was not the answer to our pregnancy struggles as our 5th pregnancy resulted in another loss.

I lasted a few months as unemployed by choice.  Then my phone started ringing with requests for me.  And, a few months later I had started my own consulting firm.  I work for me, myself and I.  (Oh, and our dog, clearly she’s the real boss).

Working for myself has been life changing.  Most days, my commute to work consists of walking down 1 flight of stairs from our bedroom to our office.  Most days, I work on interesting projects.  Most days, I work with decent people.

But then I still have days where I work for frustratingly hard to deal with clients.  I have days where I spend most of my time dealing with conflict in high stress situations.  I still have some 12 hour work days.  And, I still have days where I have to commute at least a few hours to meetings.

Honestly, my chosen profession is not the nicest of professions and often it’s just not something I am passionate about.  Some days I wonder, will I ever truly figure out what I want to be when I grow up?

I know now that at the end of the day, working for myself is much more pleasant then working for not very nice bosses.  Being my own boss makes my chosen industry bearable at the moment.

In fact, as my own boss allows me to be pickier with my clients.  At the moment, I’m currently trying to figure out how to fire a client while keeping my reputation intact.  My reality is that I am not prepared to work for hard clients that make me miserable – I learned that lesson in large part as a result of our struggle to have a family, and for that I am thankful.

I realize now that my life is more then just work and my wellbeing matters.

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