Locker Room Talk

Little MPB: Mommy, Boobies!!!! 

Me: Yes Little MPB, Mommy has boobies.  But how about we don’t shout that as loud as we can at swimming class?

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Another mother in the change room laughed and said I just love that age!  That’s why I had 5!

To which I responded, while laughing I also love this age – it’s so much fun. Although right now, I’m really just hoping he doesn’t feel the need to continue to point out my body parts while we are in a swim class that is all Dad’s. (As an aside, I’m not sure how I ended up being the only mom in swimming class this time, but I actually think it’s great to see that it’s not just a mom and baby/toddler activity).

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Her little girl, probably about 8 years old, then said: But, mommy, I’m not one of the 5 you had.

The mom: No you’re not, I adopted you to be part of the family.

Little girl: I don’t like telling people I’m adopted. 

The mom:  Why?

Little Girl: They always feel bad for me, because I wasn’t one of your kids from the start.

The mom: Well, I think adoption is great.

To which I added in:  I also think adoption is great for bringing families together.  This little guy is adopted to.*

The little girls eye’s just lite right up.  The mom also looked surprised and said: See, you never know who else is adopted too.

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* We don’t regularly tell random people Little MPB is adopted, we figure that’s not a discussion we have to have with everyone in the world.  But, in this occasion, it just felt right and Little MPB is still at an age that he doesn’t care.  And, for the record, I was not at all trying to tell this little girl her adoption feelings are wrong, I just wanted to let her know she’s not alone as an adopted kid.

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Potty Training Update

As many of you remember, when Little MPB was 2 years old, we pushed hard on the potty training front.

I gave up after 3 days. Mr. MPB gave up after 11 days.

We followed the Oh Crap! Potty Training method. Which is adamant that boys are not slower then girls and potty training can be successfully done with a 2 year old and really needs to be done by 30 months I cannot comment on boys being slower then girls, since I only have a boy and no comparison point. But, I will say I suspect that boys are slower just based on my circle of friends.

Instead, what I will say, and will stand behind, is that I have no doubt that some 2 year olds are readybut I firmly believe my 2 year old was not ready. Some might say it was our fault as parents because we didn’t try hard enough. But, regardless of it was my fault for not trying hard enough or Little MPB just not being ready, I know my child, and I know the stress that the Oh Crap! method was causing him at 2 years old was not worth it. I also have to mention that the book did not site its scientific sources on potty training 2 years olds, which is a bit of a pet-peeve of mine. But, I can site our pediatrician who made it clear to us based on academic research, very few kids will be successfully potty trained at 2 years old. In fact, completely in contradiction to the book, our pediatrician recommended waiting until at least 2.5, if not 3, when kids are more likely to succeed at potty training (which happens to align with the comments we’ve received from both my online friends and our real-life friends).

Needless to say, we tried with our 2 year old and we failed with our 2 year old. And we are totally okay with that. (I can assure you, this wont be my last parenting failure).

So what have we been doing since we gave up? We have been taking a no pressure approach. Meaning, we figure Little MPB has to participate in potty training as he controls his bladder, and there was just no point on pushing him. We did sort-of try to encourage the potty a bit more in the last few months, but we faced a bit of push-back with our daycare when we asked them to encourage him to use the potty – the new teachers in his room just weren’t interested in helping. So, we’ve done basically nothing.

So when are we going to re-initiate potty training? Soon, but we’ve made a few changes to our approach. First, we’ve decided to not be so stuck on the Oh Crap methodology. It may work great for some, but it didn’t prove very successful for us. So, we are going to learn what works best for Little MPB and work with him, not work towards the rules in a book. Second, Little MPB just moved up a room in daycare, and one of his new teachers is absolutely, positively, 110% dedicated to potty training. She asked if she can start encouraging Little MPB to use the potty, and we were like Yes Please!! We have agreed that for now she’ll encourage him to go when the other kids are going, because peer pressure in the potty training world can be a great thing. And, once he is over his current cold and he is settled into the new daycare room, we will begin a real potty training effort. She will work with him during the days, and we will work with him at home. And, we will work with her method, as she helps successfully potty train all the other kids that go through her room.

And so, I am optimistic that within the next 4-6 weeks he may actually be potty trained. And, I am confident that before he turns 3 in a few months time, he will be potty trained.

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