International Women’s Day.

What a fitting day to sit down and share.

I am a woman.  I am a fiercely independent woman.  I am a strong woman.  I fight for what’s right, and I stand up for what’s not.

Yet, here I am, just this week re-digesting the news that a male dominated medical profession f* me over years ago.  I am re-analyzing, re-reading, and re-researching.  It’s all coming back to me. 

Suddenly, almost out of no-where, I have severe adenomyosis.  This news is after years of invasive procedures that showed nothing wrong, and a medical system that kept telling me to “just keep trying, there is nothing wrong with you”.  Yet, I knew there was something wrong.  One doesn’t just loose 5 babies for no reason – sorry, that’s not normal.  Yet, no matter how loudly I screamed it, no medical professional in my country would listen to me.

I had to leave Canada to fine a doctor who would take me seriously.  In fact, Dr. Braverman also knew something was wrong.  I literally have a report that he wrote in 2013 which states “…her ultrasound examination also showed evidence for possible adenomyosis.”  Yet, no doctor here would even consider such a thing, instead they stuck with the “just keep trying, there is nothing wrong with you” strategy of putting me down.  And when I chose to

Now, years after everything, suddenly it’s not longer silent and my body is torturing me. And, I get to have a hysterectomy.

And of course, this has to happen in the middle of a global pandemic when medical services are severely limited.  I couldn’t have picked better timing if I tried. 

I’m angry that my “women’s” health was treated the way it was.  Very angry. 

So, I guess, I share this today to all women who may be reading this to say, keep fighting for what you know is right.  Don’t stop.  Don’t let anyone tell you that they know better.  As women, we need to continue to use our voices and push for the healthcare we deserve. (And education, and equal pay, and, and, and…)

A few other updates:

• I still do not have confirmed endometriosis, even though Dr. Braverman suspected I have it.  While exploratory endo surgeries have started here in the last few years, without symptoms I am still not eligible.  And honestly, once we closed the door on biological reproduction, there was no need to have an exploratory surgery to diagnose something that hasn’t been causing me problem.  Yet, I fully suspect endo will be confirmed when I have the hysterectomy. 
• Doodle MPB still lives with us.  Doodle MPB and I run 20+ km per week.  Running has been keeping us both (mostly) sane through the insanity of the last year.
• Little MPB is a real little boy now.  No longer can I call him a toddler.  He is the most amazing little guy I’ve ever had the pleasure to know.  I count myself lucky every single day that I am his mom.  And, I wouldn’t change a thing about choosing adoption, it was the right decision for us. 

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