Five Things on a Friday

  1. I am so tired.  Little MPB is really struggling with his two year molars at the moment.  No-one in our house has slept for at least a few nights.  Please let these teeth come in soon…
  2. I must get back to some sort of fitness.  I’m finally eating normally again and miss spinning.  Heck, right now I’d even be happy just going for a run.  So, I need to fit that back into my life now that I have the energy again.  As an aside, I still no idea what the cause of all my stomach issues was and still no word on when I’ll actually see a GI.  Also, I gave up on the  I saw, but do intend to find a new one who actually returns emails and follows up with patients.  I have a referral to someone else who apparently will answer questions like what foods should I try eating, and just need to make an appointment.
  3. I desperately miss our dogThose puppies are expected to be born any day now.  I’m still hoping that when I show Mr. MPB little puppy pictures he’ll have a change of heart, but only time will tell.
  4. Both Mr. MPB and I very excitedly called our parents, siblings and some friends to share the news that Little MPB is now a Canadian.  To which every single person responded with, I thought he was already a Canadian?  So we had to explain immigration to everyone.  It’s truly remarkable how much misunderstanding and lack of knowledge there is about international adoption.  But regardless of everyone else’s muted response, we are over the moon excited that he is now a Canadian!!
  5. I was recently talking with someone who knows most of our recurrent pregnancy loss history.  She nicely told me this story:  XXX who had 8 miscarriages, so way more then you, then went to India to have twins via gestational carrier, is now pregnant with a healthy baby.  So, how should I have respond to this?  I don’t even know XXX, I’ve just had the pleasure of hearing about their life decisions as compared to mine for the last few years.  I know, it gives this person something to talk abut with me, but I so felt judged that we didn’t try hard enough and that maybe if we try again it would work.  I didn’t say much, but I wish I had been quick enough to come back with some thing smart in the moment.

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15 Comments on “Five Things on a Friday

  1. I really wish you told her that you both reached your limit and everyone has their own limit! We are not cookie cutter replicas, we all feel differently. Infertility and RPL is not a template, we all don’t fit in one mold.

    Or for all you know, maybe she was just saying it more like, they endured so much for a family, its amazing, because it really is amazing to have gone through 8 m/cs with their sanity intact and then go through a gestational carrier. I wonder how she must have gone through 10 months of pregnancy as a nervous wreck after 8 m/cs.

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  2. 1. I’m with you on the tiredness but it’s all me…according to the scan I had done it’s diet and nutrition and holding onto a lot of anger (I had no idea I was doing this) that are causing my issues.

    2. See # 1. Diet and fitness must get on track. I think I’m going to try yoga because I feel myself losing mobility.

    3. I’m still behind on my blogs and just read the one last night about the X-rays. I was in tears and clearly, it didn’t turn out the way any of us, especially you, hoped. I am so very sorry. I’m sending you huge hugs. It is so hard to lose our 1st babies/fur babies.

    4. I am still super excited for you that he finally has his dual citizenship!

    5. Seriously just shaking my head at her nerve. Yikes!

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  3. Ugh to #5. I’m sorry but these stories people love to share are usually pretty irrelevant and more harm than help. I have people share them all the time too. I usually nod along nicely then can’t wait to vent to someone who gets it. We get it. Love you!

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  4. I’m so glad you are back to eating normally again. I’ve been wondering about that.

    And as for the procreation comparison….eff that (that’s as close as I get to straight out cussing)….I’m so tired of hearing people compare my situation to other people’s situations. I’m happy that that person was able to carry babies, but unless that person was my clone, it’s not guaranteed (and that still wouldn’t be a guarantee). In my little world, the idea is that if I pray hard enough or have enough faith that this whole thing would go much smoothly and easily for me, but there is nothing in my Bible that supports that….so I just say efff that. πŸ™‚

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  5. I hope Mr MPB does come around when he sees the puppies!

    To number 5, I’d say, ‘wow she’s brave to do all that, could you do it? because I don’t think I could’

    Liked by 1 person

  6. 1. Yep, with you on the teething. Bub is getting his bottom two at the same time. Molars are apparently the worst, eek!
    2. Yep, diet and fitness… got to get around to that
    3. Hopefully Puppy pictures sway Mr MPB and sorry for the loss of your dog 😦
    4. I think baby MPB being finally Canadian is a huge exciting thing πŸ™‚
    5. Why do people do that?! It is so rude. People did something similar to me when I stopped breastfeeding “oh my friend tried xyz and suffered through fgh and she fed for 2 years”… It always makes me feel insecure. People forget that everyone is an individual and we all have different motivations etc.

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  7. Re #5: WTF!? How does that help you in any way? So we had a miscarriage and then it took 2 years to get pregnant again. Tons of unsuccessful fertility treatments. Had an HSG and were waiting for my next cycle to start so we could start IVF when I found out I was pregnant. I never tell anyone that story because I do NOT want anyone to use it to insult/hurt some poor couple going through loss or infertility. It’s not inspirational or reassuring, it’s ignorant and insensitive.

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  8. sorry about #5. I think sometimes people just don’t get how their comments can be perceived, especially in this type of context. I do wish people would think before they speak!

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  9. I’m sorry about your friend’s comments. I guess she thought the story would give you hope or something(?), whereas actually stories like that just leave you feeling worse. There will always be a story about someone who tried one more time/whatever treatment and was successful just like there are stories of people who tried that amount and weren’t… We just don’t hear so much about the latter.

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  10. I get these stories all the time from friends that know we have been trying for 5.5years. I think it is their way of sustaining hope for us that we will have a baby one day. A way of them trying to support us when they have no idea of how. It still frustrates me no end, but I have learned to smile and try to appreciate that they are trying to support me in their own way.
    I am so happy for you that bubs is officially a Canadian.
    I haven’t read about the puppies so am going to do so now. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think you are right, it is their way of sustaining hope. And like you, it still frustrates me but I also almost always just let it go because an argument will get us no-where and I don’t always feel like educating people on what’s best to say and what not to say.

      Liked by 1 person

      • So true! I have only actually had that convo once with my brother’s GF when she was drunk at a party. She said she was sorry she doesn’t ask how it’s going, but she doesn’t know what to say or if it is okay to ask because she doesn’t want to upset me. So I told her I am super happy for her to ask me about where we are up to.
        I have a friend that always has those hope stories for me though. Love her so much, but sometimes just needs a break πŸ™‚

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  11. “Way more than you” like it matters?? I know of someone who had 12! So does that mean that XXX shouldn’t be upset because she ‘only’ had 8?!?!

    Not everyone needs to choose the same path, and because something worked for someone doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be an expensive heartache for someone else. I’m sorry. Some people will never get it. Most won’t. Fortunately for them.

    Good luck convincing DH of getting a puppy! They sound adorable! And yay for being able to eat stuff! Though it sure would be nice to know what the heck changed!

    And biggest YAY for baby MPB: Canadian!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, being a Canadian is so awesome! We are so incredibly excited for him!!
      And, yes, about the ‘only’ 8 or 12 or 5 or xx. I wish people would be more respectful of our individual choices. And for me, in our circumstance, I wish they would just keep their mouth shut because it implies that Little MPB isn’t good enough, even if that’s not their intent. And that makes my blood boil because he is more then good enough!
      And the puppy didn’t come to fruition, unfortunately. But the reason why (posted today) makes me okay with waiting for the next little.

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