What is a married couple to do when compromise is not in our current vocabulary?
The lack of agreement is simple – I want a dog now. Mr. MPB wants to wait for an indefinite amount of time.
But, it’s not just that simple.
You see, when I make my mind up on something I tend to go all in and there’s basically no way to stop me once I get going. And, once again, I’ve done just that. I’ve fallen in love with the type of dog (Sheepadoodle), and a specific breeder. And, the puppies are expected to be born within the next 12 days, and be able to move home with us in October.
When I told Mr. MPB about the upcoming puppies and the conversations I had been having with the breeder he made a joke and didn’t say much else. But, I mistakenly took his few words to mean he was okay with this and filled in the puppy adoption forms (which by the way is nothing like human adoption. In comparison the dog adoption process is so much more simple that I couldn’t help but chuckle, and I truly laughed out loud when the breeder informed me that we are an ideal adoptive family – maybe I should tell them we are approved by both the Canadian Government and the USA Government to adopt and we have Interpol clearance?). Anyways, our names are now on a waitlist, with deposit required when the puppy is born.
After filling out the paperwork, I told Mr. MPB. This is when he verbalized that he is 110% opposed to bringing a dog into our lives in October. I have had more then one cry over this, truthfully I’m heartbroken. I miss the company during the day when I’m working at home, I miss the doggy snuggles, and I miss the sense of security that came along with having a large dog in our house. Mr. MPB says he feels bad for saying no, but he just isn’t ready. In fact he referred to himself as Chandler. To which I half-heartedly told him, he probably should feel bad because no-one comes off as a nice guy when they say no to puppies.
So, how do we compromise? We are used to compromising, I think that’s part of why we are usually a good team. And, we also use the veto rule from time to time if one of us has a really strong opinion on something. He tried to use a veto, I accepted his veto and said I’d move on since I cannot really bring a dog into our house if he’s not onboard. But, less then 24 hours later, I vetoed his veto. I tried sitting on my feelings and moving on, but the fact is that I still desperately want this puppy. It turns out that as much as he doesn’t want this puppy, I do.
So, we are deadlocked. Or at an impasse if you will.
There is really is no compromising on this one – it’s not like we can get half a dog in October. We either get one, or we don’t. So, essentially one of us has to relent and give in. Meaning one of us gets what we want, and the other one is simply out of luck but is stuck with the outcome of the one who gets their way.
I have no idea how we are going to overcome this.
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