So we are just over 1 week into having Doddle MPB, and I’ve realized things are very different with this puppy.
Dog MPB was our only child for a number of years. And when I say child, she truly was our child and she was the center of our world. We took her to a few rounds of puppy training and when she was about 1 year old we hired a private trainer to help work out some kinks (i.e. 90 lbs jumping dog). She had free reign of the house. When we had to go away without her, she never spent a night in a kennel, instead we always asked friends to dogsit. She ate only the best of the best foods (in part because of her life-long tummy problems). As far as dogs are concerned, she lived the life of a princess.
When our human child came along, I continued to put a huge emphasize on Dog MPB. In fact, I’d say we made Little MPB adjust to life in the family, not Dog MPB. Dog MPB was here first, so we decided not to expect her to change her life for the kid. So much so that the kid spent time in a pack-n-play and baby safe areas.
Once Little MPB came along, we had lots of people ask us when we were going to get rid of the dog (I still don’t understand that thinking). But for us, it was never an unsafe situation that needed intervention so re-homing her was never something we thought of. In fact, it simply wasn’t an option. Instead, we had friends greet the dog first as she got jealous of Little MPB getting the attention. We took her for just as many walks. And, we worked very hard to make sure our human child and our fur child could co-exist and hopefully eventually become friends. The human child loved the dog probably because he never knew anything different. Unfortunately the Dog MPB died too soon for the dog to really love the human child. But, because we worked to develop a safe relationship, they did co-exist safely. And safety was always our goal.
Now, we have Doodle MPB. She’s 9 weeks old. And the human child is 2 years old. And I’ve realized already our relationship with Doodle MPB is very different. The pecking order in our family is very clear – Little MPB is our priority over Doodle MPB. This doesn’t mean Doodle MPB will be ignored, but she’s just not the center of my world. And, this time, Little MPB isn’t expected to change his life to fit the dog in. Instead, the dog has to adjust to our life. So, unless it’s family play time the dog is in a large safe area, not the kid. (Thank god we still have all our baby gates). I do assume as Doodle MPB gets bigger and is house-trained she will have free roam of the house.
The day we brought Doodle MPB home we made a commitment to Doodle MPB. And already Little MPB and Doodle MPB are the best of friends. And, as the adults we are doing everything in our power to create a positive relationship between them, and we are fully committed to training her.
But the kid takes priority. And, so this time it’s just different.
And I don’t think it’s a bad different, it’s just different.
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Every now and again something happens which makes me realize just how fortunate I am to be a Little MPB’s mother.
Sometimes its something as simple as a song. Or a seeing someone else walking down the street with their kids and being able to think, how wonderful it is that I get to do that too. Or watching Little MPB learn something new or even just play with his dad. And sometimes, it’s just a feeling that washes over me for no apparent reasons.
But sometimes it’s also a moment of pure madness. A moment where the puppy is screaming and the toddler is screaming, as if somehow feeding off each other so both just get louder and louder. The puppy is desperate for physical connection. The toddler is desperate for pancakes and syrup, right this second (even though there are no pancakes in the house). Mr. MPB is trying to console to toddler. I’m trying to cook said pancakes in record time and get the puppy to be quiet.
Part of my brain wants to explode, because it is just so loud!! Part of me just wants to walk outside for 30 seconds and let Mr. MPB solve this crisis.
But, instead, I keep scrambling to make pancakes in record time. And yet, I find that I cannot help but smile, ever so slightly.
This is my dream, in all it’s glory.
I was desperate for our house to be a home, to be filled with the sounds of laughter and love from children playing with their siblings and our family dog. And today, I have actually have a version of that exact dream.
It may not be everything I imagined. In fact, I’ll admit that this very moment isn’t one I ever specifically dreamed about. Never did I imagine a puppy that appears to be some sort of screaming machine. And I spent a lot more time fantasying about the happy, laughter filled family moments with a few kids, not one inconsolable only child toddler.
But if this is what a bad day looks like, then I’ll take it. And I’ll take it again tomorrow and the next day. Because bad days are also a very real part of being a mom. And honestly, a bad day as a mother, is still one of the best days of my life.
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