Perminant Birth Control
A permanent birth control method has been on our minds for a very long time. In fact, when we decided to stop trying for a baby the old fashioned way, we chose the Mirena IUD for birth control Yet, we’ve been talking about a more permanent birth control solution ever since.
(As a quick aside for those not familiar with my story, we are technically infertile according the doctors. But we actually went through recurrent pregnancy loss with five consecutive miscarriages. In reality we are actually very good at the conception part and absolutely horrible at the staying pregnant part).
When we decided to adopt, Mr. MPB offered immediately to get a vasectomy. I said no, maybe eventually, but not yet. So I went back onto the Merina IUD. It worked for me in the past, so we assumed it would work again. We were WRONG. I have hated every single second of being on the Mirena IUD. I despise it. I’m not sure if the difference is because my natural hormones all changed during our five pregnancies and five subsequent losses. I’m not sure if I just got used to being hormone free. I really don’t know the cause. But, I do know that unlike my first Mirena IUD, this one has resulted in 10-14 day long light periods, horrible breakouts, way more irritable, etc.
So, we’ve been talking a lot more about long term birth control. For us, it is a couple decision, not just an individual choice. Firstly, because we are in a monogamous relationship with each other and second, we plan to be in a monogamous relationship with each other for the next 60+ years. So, we have agreed that:
- No matter what, we do not plan to have a biological child in the future. We are both 100% okay not passing our genetics on to a future child – for us, having a child was never about genetics. Given this, we will not have me try to carry a baby to term, as we know my body will not support it. We also know that we are not use a gestational carrier – with my eggs or with donor eggs. We are also not interested surrogacy using someone else’s eggs and Mr. MPB’s sperm. We both are confident that unless a child randomly falls out of the sky and into our arms, we are done.
- We need something highly effective because otherwise we will get pregnant again and I will lose the baby.
- I cannot go on anything estrogen based due to my history of migraines with aura’s. Apparently I am at a much higher risk for complications (if I recall correctly, I think I’m at a higher risk for a brain aneurism). So, nope, we just are not risking that!
- I do not want to be on any sort of hormone based birth control long term. I’m so over the side effects, even if they are only mild.
So basically that leaves us with Tubal Ligation or Vasectomy.
Mr. MPB is adamant that vasectomy is the way to go – easier and safe procedure, quicker recovery time and no potential long term health complications.
Logically, I fully agree with Mr. MPB. And god knows my body has been through enough crap in the past few years. BUT…
I still have some pretty strong feeling about Mr. MPB enduring the permanent solution. First, when it’s my fault we cannot have children together, how is it fair that he has to take the long term responsibility for my health failings? If I’m the one who looses all the babies, should it be my body that has the permanent birth control? Secondly, as much as we plan to be together forever, what if I get hit by a bus and he wants to have a child with someone else in the future? Is it fair to take that possibility away from him, especially considering my body will never have a child with anyone?
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