The other day Baby MPB and I were at the mall. Just the two of us.
I sat down to feed him in a common area. I pulled out a bottle. I pulled out pre-made formula. I poured the pre-made formula into the bottle. Just as I have done countless times since Baby MPB was born.
As I did this, I saw a random lady watching.
Now, people watch Baby MPB all.the.time. This is pretty normal – he is very social, expressive and interactive. He has been since day he was born. I’m used it it.
But, this was different. She watched intently as I prepared his bottle.
And as I began feeding him, our eyes met, and she quickly looked away. I thought to myself, clearly not a fan of formula feeding.
A few minutes later, through the corner of my eye, I saw her watching again.
Then she got up and started walking towards us. As she approach, I smiled weakly, expecting the worst. I couldn’t help but think, hopefully she keeps her opinions to herself. I’m not interest in hearing about her perception of my poor parenting decision to ruin his life by not breastfeeding.
.
And then, she stopped and began talking to us. How old is he? Is he your first? Look at all his hair, it’s just so cute. And those eye lashes, how come boys always get the best eye lashes? He is so cute! I cannot believe how much he smiles. He is clearly one happy baby. You are one lucky mom!
I relaxed and truly smiled. The conversation was simply about how cute he was and how fortunate I am. There was no mention of breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. She did not judge anything other then how adorable my son is.
As she walked away, I had tears in my eyes. Her friendliness and your compassion were so appreciated. From the bottom of my heart I waswas thankful for her.
.
I know I’m over sensitive to the breastfeeding pressures mainly because it’s something I always assumed I’d be able to do, and in the end it didn’t happen – it’s my issue. But, the society pressure just adds to it. I know I have built walls up around me. After years of hurt, I have built these walls to protect my heart. But, thank you random lady for reminding me that not everyone is judgemental. And for showing me that maybe I need to try to start breaking down a few more walls. Even if it is just one brick at a time.
If you like this post, please feel free to share and please click the follow button on the side or return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.
So, I realize I’m new to this parenting thing. But, I have a bone to pick with some other parents – probably not a lot of the ones who read my blog though.
Even if you are being sarcastic or trying to be funny, please just don’t tell me:
to remember these days for when Baby MPB is 2 years old and I hate him.
I take issue with this statement, and I am not even going to hide it. Instead, I will respond with a very polite I’m excited to see my son grow up, it should be mostly fun.
First, I cannot imagine anything that could make me hate my son. I find it hard to believe that parents could hate their children. I know he wont be perfect, but my love for him will go beyond his his annoyances and his mistakes.
Second, yes, I imagine toddlers are a handful. I’m not going to pretend that parenting is always easy or fun. And, I realize you speak from experience, but to be honest, having a baby who is incredibly mobile at an incredibly young age is already giving me a bit of a taste for what we are in for. I suspect we will have a very active toddler. And, I suspect we’ll learn to live with this business and get really good at chasing him around.
Third, I’m excited to experience the toddle crazy. Just like I was excited to experience the first time I held my son or the first time we walked through the door to our home or the first time we went camping. I’m also excited to see first steps, for the first day of school and even for high school graduation.
I know this type of comment comes from a place of innocence. Those who have said some variant of it have not walked our path. They have not lost babies, they are not in debt from the small fortune it cost to become parents, nor have they stared childlessness in the face. Simply, they probably don’t realize just how much of a gift it is for us to be a parent after years of loss.
I plan to spend his lifetime revealing in every single first and celebrate the simple things.
I almost didn’t become a mom, and I simply cannot ignore that fact. And please on the bad days, if I ever loose sight of this fact, in 2, 5, 15 or 25 years, please remind me just how fortunate I am.
If you like this post, please feel free to share and please click the follow button on the side or return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.
My Perfect Breakdown 