The other day Baby MPB and I were at the mall. Just the two of us.
I sat down to feed him in a common area. I pulled out a bottle. I pulled out pre-made formula. I poured the pre-made formula into the bottle. Just as I have done countless times since Baby MPB was born.
As I did this, I saw a random lady watching.
Now, people watch Baby MPB all.the.time. This is pretty normal – he is very social, expressive and interactive. He has been since day he was born. I’m used it it.
But, this was different. She watched intently as I prepared his bottle.
And as I began feeding him, our eyes met, and she quickly looked away. I thought to myself, clearly not a fan of formula feeding.
A few minutes later, through the corner of my eye, I saw her watching again.
Then she got up and started walking towards us. As she approach, I smiled weakly, expecting the worst. I couldn’t help but think, hopefully she keeps her opinions to herself. I’m not interest in hearing about her perception of my poor parenting decision to ruin his life by not breastfeeding.
And then, she stopped and began talking to us. How old is he? Is he your first? Look at all his hair, it’s just so cute. And those eye lashes, how come boys always get the best eye lashes? He is so cute! I cannot believe how much he smiles. He is clearly one happy baby. You are one lucky mom!
I relaxed and truly smiled. The conversation was simply about how cute he was and how fortunate I am. There was no mention of breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. She did not judge anything other then how adorable my son is.
As she walked away, I had tears in my eyes. Her friendliness and your compassion were so appreciated. From the bottom of my heart I waswas thankful for her.
I know I’m over sensitive to the breastfeeding pressures mainly because it’s something I always assumed I’d be able to do, and in the end it didn’t happen – it’s my issue. But, the society pressure just adds to it. I know I have built walls up around me. After years of hurt, I have built these walls to protect my heart. But, thank you random lady for reminding me that not everyone is judgemental. And for showing me that maybe I need to try to start breaking down a few more walls. Even if it is just one brick at a time.
If you like this post, please feel free to share and please click the follow button on the side or return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.