Random Lady
The other day Baby MPB and I were at the mall. Just the two of us.
I sat down to feed him in a common area. I pulled out a bottle. I pulled out pre-made formula. I poured the pre-made formula into the bottle. Just as I have done countless times since Baby MPB was born.
As I did this, I saw a random lady watching.
Now, people watch Baby MPB all.the.time. This is pretty normal – he is very social, expressive and interactive. He has been since day he was born. I’m used it it.
But, this was different. She watched intently as I prepared his bottle.
And as I began feeding him, our eyes met, and she quickly looked away. I thought to myself, clearly not a fan of formula feeding.
A few minutes later, through the corner of my eye, I saw her watching again.
Then she got up and started walking towards us. As she approach, I smiled weakly, expecting the worst. I couldn’t help but think, hopefully she keeps her opinions to herself. I’m not interest in hearing about her perception of my poor parenting decision to ruin his life by not breastfeeding.
.
And then, she stopped and began talking to us. How old is he? Is he your first? Look at all his hair, it’s just so cute. And those eye lashes, how come boys always get the best eye lashes? He is so cute! I cannot believe how much he smiles. He is clearly one happy baby. You are one lucky mom!
I relaxed and truly smiled. The conversation was simply about how cute he was and how fortunate I am. There was no mention of breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. She did not judge anything other then how adorable my son is.
As she walked away, I had tears in my eyes. Her friendliness and your compassion were so appreciated. From the bottom of my heart I waswas thankful for her.
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I know I’m over sensitive to the breastfeeding pressures mainly because it’s something I always assumed I’d be able to do, and in the end it didn’t happen – it’s my issue. But, the society pressure just adds to it. I know I have built walls up around me. After years of hurt, I have built these walls to protect my heart. But, thank you random lady for reminding me that not everyone is judgemental. And for showing me that maybe I need to try to start breaking down a few more walls. Even if it is just one brick at a time.
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It’s terrible how much judgement there can be for mothers. I’m so glad this was such a positive interaction all about how cute your son is!!
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What a sweet story! I was also worried she was going to come over and say something judgmental as I was reading.
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I was holding my breath reading this. I’m so glad it turned out positive!
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What a lovely surprise to the story! People can’t surprise you and I’m so glad this conversation was positive!
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I love it when people surprise us.
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Oh I love this for you friend. I bet so many people watch you move through the day with your precious boy and look at you both with love. Xo
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What a beautiful experience. I am sorry you feel so much angst surrounding this topic.
I too would adore breastfeeding my child. I have always wanted to. In saying that I know that women in my family have had serious issues with breastfeeding ranging from just having no milk at all to crippling mastitis that had one relative in agony and tears for days so I am prepared for the fact that even if I get lucky with IVF breastfeeding might just not be a viable reality for me. I’ll tell you what though I will be well prepared for anyone that dare suggest that my ‘choices’ are incorrect.
I hope you remind yourself everyday of how hard you fought for your family. Every time you feel angst about this I hope you stop and think about everything you have gone through to get to this point. I think you are amazing and that baby is going to have every opportunity in the world. My mother couldn’t breastfeed me and I am a healthy and happily married librarian who has managed to buy my own home during a terrible economic climate where very few people my age can buy a home without parental assistance. My mother is my best friend and is my personal hero and was my inspiration for becoming a librarian. I think I turned out pretty good 🙂 You just keep feeding him that formula hun. You do you 🙂 x
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Infertility has taught me to careful of how I say things. You just don’t know someone’s story and little comments that seem innocent can be very hurtful. I’m so glad that you had a positive experience.
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I wonder what her story is because women wouldnt just watch intensively for no reason and from afar …perhaps herself was of a similar history like all of us. Although i have a child, i keep looking at other people’s kids, esp babies. Im happy you had a pleasant encounter with her.
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Beautiful story and lesson here, thanks for sharing :). I also formula fed, by choice, because breastfeeding just wasn’t working out. And I felt the same pressures about formula feeding and same paranoia when I feel people watching us! I’m learning that sometimes people can’t help but to stare at a sweet, innocent little baby. Glad it was a pleasant surprise for you instead of something hard to tolerate!
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