What is a married couple to do when compromise is not in our current vocabulary?
The lack of agreement is simple – I want a dog now. Mr. MPB wants to wait for an indefinite amount of time.
But, it’s not just that simple.
You see, when I make my mind up on something I tend to go all in and there’s basically no way to stop me once I get going. And, once again, I’ve done just that. I’ve fallen in love with the type of dog (Sheepadoodle), and a specific breeder. And, the puppies are expected to be born within the next 12 days, and be able to move home with us in October.
When I told Mr. MPB about the upcoming puppies and the conversations I had been having with the breeder he made a joke and didn’t say much else. But, I mistakenly took his few words to mean he was okay with this and filled in the puppy adoption forms (which by the way is nothing like human adoption. In comparison the dog adoption process is so much more simple that I couldn’t help but chuckle, and I truly laughed out loud when the breeder informed me that we are an ideal adoptive family – maybe I should tell them we are approved by both the Canadian Government and the USA Government to adopt and we have Interpol clearance?). Anyways, our names are now on a waitlist, with deposit required when the puppy is born.
After filling out the paperwork, I told Mr. MPB. This is when he verbalized that he is 110% opposed to bringing a dog into our lives in October. I have had more then one cry over this, truthfully I’m heartbroken. I miss the company during the day when I’m working at home, I miss the doggy snuggles, and I miss the sense of security that came along with having a large dog in our house. Mr. MPB says he feels bad for saying no, but he just isn’t ready. In fact he referred to himself as Chandler. To which I half-heartedly told him, he probably should feel bad because no-one comes off as a nice guy when they say no to puppies.
So, how do we compromise? We are used to compromising, I think that’s part of why we are usually a good team. And, we also use the veto rule from time to time if one of us has a really strong opinion on something. He tried to use a veto, I accepted his veto and said I’d move on since I cannot really bring a dog into our house if he’s not onboard. But, less then 24 hours later, I vetoed his veto. I tried sitting on my feelings and moving on, but the fact is that I still desperately want this puppy. It turns out that as much as he doesn’t want this puppy, I do.
So, we are deadlocked. Or at an impasse if you will.
There is really is no compromising on this one – it’s not like we can get half a dog in October. We either get one, or we don’t. So, essentially one of us has to relent and give in. Meaning one of us gets what we want, and the other one is simply out of luck but is stuck with the outcome of the one who gets their way.
I have no idea how we are going to overcome this.
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Yup, my mind has already gone to finding a future dog for our family. I desperately miss our dog, and I know I will for years to come. But I also know that we are dog people and I want a dog in our family. In fact, both Mr. MPB and I have always wanted our child(ren) to grow up with dogs. Some of our favourite childhood memories were with our childhood dogs and we both want the same for Little MPB. I’ll Also admit that if I cannot give Little MPB a human sibling, the least I can do is give him a puu-py best friend. And, we know our son’s birth mom chose us in part because of our dog – she shares our love of big dogs and also wanted Little MPB to grow up with a dog. Also, Little MPB continues to search for his Puu-py, so I assume he also wants a dog in his life too.
So, here’s where we are at. Mr. MPB is not ready for another dog just yet. I am, our house is too empty and feels still. Little MPB is too young to have a vote.
The only problem is that regardless if we get one in a few months or in a few weeks, we don’t know what to get! We didn’t expect to be looking at getting another dog for 5+ years, so we hadn’t even begun to consider different breeds. This said, we have decided that we want a puppy, even though the idea of adding a puppy to our already busy lives does seem slightly daunting. Also, we are not going to get a dog that resembles our dog, which means a big black dog is out of the question. We are not trying to replace her, so this one must be different. Also, we have decided that we are not going to get another rescue dog. We loved, loved, loved our rescue dog but she had a lot of fear issues, and with a toddler running around we’d like the piece of mind of knowing the dog’s history and it’s tendencies. This means, for now we are not looking at rescue agencies.
So, we have decided to start researching large breed and medium-large breed dogs. If we can agree on a breed then we’ll start investigating breeders. If we cannot agree on a breed, then we will keep researching and talking.
Here’s our list of dog breeds that we might consider:
- Bernese Mountain Dog – We have always both loved this breed and love how good with kids they are. But, they are known to be sick and not live long. Also they are giant and will also make our old 90lbs dog look small.
- Nova Scotia Duck Toller – This dog is beautiful – it looks similar to a small Golden Retriever. But, these dogs are crazy expensive – as in $3500 – $4000. They are also apparently slightly harder to train. This is one of Mr. MPB’s favourites. I like them but I cannot stomach the price tag.
- Old English Sheep Dog – These dogs are big, furry and good with kids. And, can you say adorable?!! This is one of my favourites we have discussed so far. Mr. MPB’s not a fan of just how large they are.
- Golden Retriever – A good classic dog – good size, decent price, good with kids, etc. But, we both grew up with Golden’s and would like to something a little bit different.
- Sheepadoodle, Bernedoodle, Goldendoodle or a Labradoodle. All the doodles seem to shed less, are good with kids, are smart and are supposedly easy to train. Right now my favourite is the sheepadoodle probably because I love sheepdog so much. Mr. MPB is still stuck on the idea of having a dog that is any sort of doodle because their names are so funny to say.
Does anyone have experience to share with us about any of the breeds we’ve identified so far?
Or, does anyone have any other dog breed suggestions we may want to consider?
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