My Life Is More Then Just Work
I am currently a consultant in my university educated profession. I used to work for a big company which I quit after our 4th loss. I left so that I could focus on my physical and mental well being. I left so that we could try one more pregnancy without the 70+ hour work weeks, high stress and a not very nice boss. Removing work stress was not the answer to our pregnancy struggles as our 5th pregnancy resulted in another loss.
I lasted a few months as unemployed by choice. Then my phone started ringing with requests for me. And, a few months later I had started my own consulting firm. I work for me, myself and I. (Oh, and our dog, clearly she’s the real boss).
Working for myself has been life changing. Most days, my commute to work consists of walking down 1 flight of stairs from our bedroom to our office. Most days, I work on interesting projects. Most days, I work with decent people.
But then I still have days where I work for frustratingly hard to deal with clients. I have days where I spend most of my time dealing with conflict in high stress situations. I still have some 12 hour work days. And, I still have days where I have to commute at least a few hours to meetings.
Honestly, my chosen profession is not the nicest of professions and often it’s just not something I am passionate about. Some days I wonder, will I ever truly figure out what I want to be when I grow up?
I know now that at the end of the day, working for myself is much more pleasant then working for not very nice bosses. Being my own boss makes my chosen industry bearable at the moment.
In fact, as my own boss allows me to be pickier with my clients. At the moment, I’m currently trying to figure out how to fire a client while keeping my reputation intact. My reality is that I am not prepared to work for hard clients that make me miserable – I learned that lesson in large part as a result of our struggle to have a family, and for that I am thankful.
I realize now that my life is more then just work and my wellbeing matters.
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My Perfect Breakdown 
It’s comforting to know that other women have made choices similar to mine. I hope, however, that my 4th pregnancy next year will not end in a loss but we shall see, I guess (if I get pregnant even, that has to happen first, lol). However, reading this also lets me know that there is more than just a baby on the other side of this choice as well. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really helps me.
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I would love to wind up as a consultant… Good for you for putting your well-being above really hard-to-work-with clients
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I am on my second professional career. I like it better than my first field but still have days when I feel like you about my work: not passionate about it, it’s not the nicest of professions (very contentious, actually), and I wonder if I could/should be doing something else.
But. Having children has shifted my focus from work to personal life. I still spend as many hours working, of necessity — I wish I could change that, but it is what it is — but the way I feel about it is vastly different.
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Aaahhhh this is the trickiest thing but so freeing once you figure it out. I work from home too and have just had to put some boundaries out there to stop shitty clients. If I had a client who constantly came to me with work on short notice then I put a quick turnaround fee in it, and other variations of that. It was great as people either paid it (win!) or went away (also a win hehe). I hope it works out for you x
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Haha! That’s exactly what I’m doing. Firing them doesn’t seem to be working so I’m charging them a LOT more – I’m calling it my aggravation fee. If they are willing to pay it then I guess I’ll keep working for them!
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Exactly! Makes it worth your while!
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When you figure it out please let me know :). The reason we can’t spend Xmas together is because N is working with a nightmare client who can’t make up his mind on deadlines. I hope it goes smoothly.
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