It’s one of those days. A day where I cannot help but think. And thinking is almost always a dangerous activity in my world.
I wonder what it would be like to have my mom at my side as I learn to be a mom?
I wonder what it would be like to feel ahead of the game for even a single moment, rather then constantly playing catch up.
I wonder why there is so much hate in the world? And I wonder when/if human kind will ever get it together and truly learn to love and accept one another? I am at a loss.
I wonder why do some of my best friends have to live on the other side of the world? And why are so many of my in-person friends moving away?
I wonder what it would be like to pick up the phone and chat with my sister.
I wonder when life will feel calm again, when we will find our groove again? On what planet was it a smart decision to have major surgery with an infant to care for?
I wonder if I’ll ever go on a date with just my husband again?
I wonder if I will ever be able to find my desk under the mountain of paperwork that has taken over my office? Who has time for filing!?
I wonder why teething has to be so miserable for babies (and therefore their parents)?
Really, I’m just grouchy today. And, I find when I’m grouchy, all the crap stuff raises to the surface.
And while I know I should focus on the good, the happy and the things that make life great (i.e. Baby MPB). But, honestly, today I just don’t want to pull sunshine out of my ass. Today I want to sulk.
Maybe tomorrow will be better. But for now I’m going to sit in my grouchies and let life be what it will be.
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