International Adoption Help
Navigating international open adoption has been one of the toughest things I’ve ever done. When we started the process we were told not to expect much help from anyone, but we were confident (and slightly arrogant) that as two professionals we could figure it out.
We’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars on multiple paid professionals and not one of them gave us guidance as we tried to figure out how to fill in immigration paperwork. No-one helped us figure out how to provide required documentation that doesn’t exist in our country. No-one helped us figure out which agency to hire. None of them helped us figure out the different laws in different states. No-one helped us figure out the medical information we received when we were matched. No-one has put a stop to the downright horrible things we experienced at the hands of our USA agency (again, I’ll share more about this once the adoption is finalized).
We were left to figure out the USA emergency passport paperwork on our own. We figured out the inter-state adoption rules largely on our own. We developed our own interview questions for agencies. We developed our own process charts, tables and checklists to try to navigate the process.
Essentially, just as we were told to expect, we were left to navigate the adoption process in two countries on our own.
I like to think we are doing so successfully. At least so far.
When we got home I agreed to be a resource to other families in the international adoption process for our local agency. I wanted to help which meant I dragged Mr. MPB along for the ride (as I often do). We’ve now spoken at adoption seminars for families considering adoption.
And, I have had multiple one-on-one conversations with prospective families and families already in the process.
But, now it seems our local agency is referring virtually all new couples/individuals considering international adoption or in the match process to me. I’m essentially getting weekly calls. And, while it’s nice to help, I’m getting starting to get tired of it.
I want to help, I truly do. Please don’t get me wrong.
But, I have limited time. I’m a new mom and I’m a working mom. I think it’s fair to say that my spare time is somewhat limited and has become very precious to me. I’m not sure how to draw the line, but I do feel that a line needs to be drawn.
Also want to know why the local agency isn’t able to do some of this themselves? Isn’t this partially their role? Or isn’t this part of the role of the agency in the foreign country? Or the lawyers? Seriously, with the amount of money being spent shouldn’t this be someones paid job?
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