We Have a Problem (and It’s an Expensive One)

  Posted on March 23, 2015 By

 138 Comments

There has been something on my mind that has resulted in countless tears being shed. And I just haven’t been able to put words to it. Every time I try to write about it, I end up just feeling like I shouldn’t be complaining. I sit here thinking that this is our problem and I shouldn’t complain about it, because nearly everyone else has their own version of this problem. And in the scheme of it, we are pretty fortunate.

But today, I’ve decided I’m ready to find my words and share.

So here it is: the cost of international adoption has become a significant problem for us.

20150130 - Similarities between Recurrent Pregnancy Loss and Adoption2From the get go, we knew that choosing to adopt internationally would be expensive. When we were deciding if we were going to adopt locally or internationally we were told it would be $20,000 – $60,000 USD. We anticipated a total bill of about $40,000 USD. This $40,000 was intended to include the costs on the Canadian side and the travel costs. This was also at a time when the Canadian dollar was close to par with the US dollar.

Due to circumstances well outside of our control, we are now told that the adoption will cost us upwards of $60,000 USD, just on the USA agency fees, lawyer fees and birth mother expenses. This means we will also be paying for the Canadian adoption expenses and travel over and above the $60,000. All in, we are now expecting a final bill closer $80,000 USD (or 100,000 CAD at the current exchange rate).

Cue heart palpitations.

This is insane!

And honestly, it’s bloody scary!

This might just be too much for us to handle.

In our minds, we were going to spend this kind of money over 5-6 years on 2 separate adoptions. Now we are looking at potentially needing this within the next 12 months. (The plus side of this problem is that the adoption may occur much quicker then before).

Needless to say there has been a lot of stress in the MPB household as a result of this. There have been sleepless nights. There has been lots of discussions and even some arguments (and we work hard to talk through disagreements so true arguments are rare for us). With this price tag, we’ve discussed the option of not having children. We’ve discussed putting off adopting for a few more years so we can save more money. We’ve discussed trying again the old fashioned way (that has proved so incredibly unsuccessful for us).

Ultimately, the one thing we both quickly came to the realization of is that we do want children. And, international adoption is the best path for our family.

So, now we just have to figure out how we are going to come up with this amount of money, and relatively quickly. So, we’ve started strategizing how in the world we are going to pay for this. One of the most immediate solutions is that I find a new job ASAP – so much for the luxury of having time to find the right job.  And Iceland is off the table.

Really, we are now facing an entirely new fear.  And I find myself asking the universe, why does this all have to be so hard?  Why can’t something just work our easily.  Why does virtually any form of alternative family building have to be so freaking expensive?  Why?!

I know we will find a way to overcome it, but for now, we are pretty scared that by the time we get through this adoption we are going to be completely broke.

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138 Comments on “We Have a Problem (and It’s an Expensive One)”

  1. This is insane and I truly feel like it needs to be talked about. You know, this is exactly why so many of us cannot ‘just’ adopt. Thinking of you and hoping you find a way to overcome this too.

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    • I think the ultimate question is what are you willing to sacrifice or take on to build your family? That’s something that only you and Mr. MPB can agree on. As for complaining, I see it more as building awareness. Very few people understand that cost associated with international adoption or any other ”non traditional” family building method. Complain away girlfriend! You are investing a ton of time, emotion and money into this!

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      • You are so right, the ultimate question is what are we willing to sacrifice to build our family, and that answer will likely vary from couple to couple. And finding that answer is not always easy.
        Thank you so much for your support, I am truly grateful that you are on my team cheering me along. P.S. how are you doing?

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      • Am I allowed to say being sick sucks? The Diclectin helps a lot, but I playing with the dose to get out of zombie mode. 🙂 I’ve got a business trip this week. If I can keep the nausea at bay, I’ll battle through the drowsiness.

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      • Having had 5 less then fun pregnancies, I firmly believe that anyone who is pregnant is allowed to complain about anything including being sick!! I hope you get the Diclectin dose sorted out.

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    • I think my issue about talking about money is that we’ve always been incredibly private when it comes to our finances. So for me to discuss this is foreign territory.
      But, as you say, this is something that needs to be discussed, so here I am putting it out there. And you are right, this is exactly why “just adopt” is ridiculous advice!

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  2. You don’t think you should be complaining? You have every right to complain. What you are going through is rough. Anyone in your position would be doing the exact same thing. I’m so sorry that it’s come to this.

    Sending you strength and best wishes.

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    • Thank you Greg. I’m not one to talk about finances at the best of time, so to put it out there to the entire world is new and slightly scary for me. And, I also know that everyone else is dealing with their own version of this problem because none of this stuff is cheap or even affordable!
      Thank you for your encouragement and support! We sure need it right now.

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  4. This really puts things into perspective and makes me want to slap people when they say you should just adopt. It should not be this hard.

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  5. WOW. That’s insane. I’m sorry that you are having to make so many sacrifices to build your family. It’s incredibly unfair.

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  6. A hundred grand and you shouldn’t complain?? Seriously!! Good luck with everything though, its not easy. Also, complain all you want, we hear you, and anyone who says you shouldn’t complain, send them to me. (I know martial arts) 🙂

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    • I guess it’s not that I shouldn’t complain, more that everyone else in the IF/adoption world is already dealing with their own version of the money problem, so I just feel guilty airing ours. And, we’ve never been very open with anyone in our lives about finances, so it’s really weird to be airing our money issues to the world. But, it’s such a big part of adoption that I couldn’t pretend that it wasn’t affecting us.
      Also, thank you so much for your support!

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    • You are right, it really shouldn’t be this hard for anyone! Thank you so much for your love and support, I do believe somehow we will find a way, but that belief doesn’t make it any less scary right now.

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  8. They need a dislike button because I really hate hearing that it is going to cost so much for you to build your family. The paperwork and money it takes to give a child a home is just insane! Even the police officer that did our finger prints on Saturday thinks everything we have to go through is a little crazy. I am so sorry that you’ve gotten this news. I wish more than anything that I could do something to help. Praying that God works all the financials out for you and the worrying can cease soon! As always, sending you so much love and big hugs!!!

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    • You know, I really do understand why there are so many hoops from the perspective of making sure the adoptive parents will provide a safe home, but at the same time I think the system has become so unnecessarily complicated and expensive that it’s become cruel and doesn’t make any sense. So, needless to say, in most ways I completely agree with the police officer you were talking to – this is just crazy!!
      Thank you so much for your love and encouragement.

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  9. 100 grand is substantial. We’ve spent about 50 grand on our 4 IUIs, 2IVFs, and 5 transfers- but that was over 3 years. And we were penny pinching for that. So yeah, I imagine you’re under a ton of stress. It must be frustrating having to consider returning to the career that caused you so much stress yet will likely pay you the most. I just know that you and Mr. MPB can find a way. You’re both very smart and have been so good with your money thus far in your lives. On the bright side, your dreams of being a parent sound like they are coming close to being a reality! That’s super exciting!

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    • Thank you so much for sympathizing. The money side of fertility treatment and adoption is just insane! It boggles my mind that people are expected to come up with this kind of money, or life without. It just doesn’t make sense.
      As you say, on the bright side there is hope that we may have our baby sooner then we ever expected. I am trying really hard to focus on that bright side right now. 🙂

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  10. Ugh, I am so sorry that you’re going through this. And I’m angry with the universe on your behalf: you’ve been through so much already, and now there’s yet another obstacle on the new path you’ve chosen?! Not fair!!! Universe, please go somewhere else and spread the hardship around a little! How insane that you’re effectively having to pay more because of fluctuations in international exchange rates.

    It’ll all be worth it when you finally hold your baby in your arms, but gosh that always seems so far off, doesn’t it? Sending you strength to keep dealing with this setback.

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    • Thanks so much for your encouragement. I so agree that it’s time for the universe to bugger off and leave us alone!
      And, I just keep telling myself that it will be worth it in the end, so here’s to hoping it is!! 🙂

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  11. Oh, girl, I am so sorry. This is brutal, and I feel you. If adoption weren’t so $$$, Tim and I would be starting the process right now. But it’s like, how do you come up with that kind of money on a whim? Oh right, you can’t. And for you to think it would be one sum of money, but then find out it’s actually double? Like I said, just brutal. Are there any grants you can apply for? And I know the last thing you want to do is take a job that’s not ideal, but it’s only temporary. As soon as you get through this tough time, you can reassess the situation and find something better if you need to. I know you guys will make this work, but I’m sorry you have to. This is truly terrifying. I think about it all the time that if we end up adopting we are basically going to be putting ourselves in a financially precarious position, with no nest egg and no padding and some loans on top of that, probably. Which means that if one single thing goes wrong financially, we are screwed. It should not be this hard. It’s totally unfair. You guys have been though enough. Enough, already! YOU HEAR ME, UNIVERSE?!

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    • Thanks so much for all your thoughts, your understanding and love.
      I’ve been searching for a lot of grants, and there honestly doesn’t seem to be that many in Canada. There are a few from religious organizations, which we wont be eligible for given that we are not particularly religious. There are a couple of low/no-interest loans that we may be eligible for, but otherwise there just isn’t much. But, I’m determined to keep looking, maybe there is something out there that I have not found yet?

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  12. Oh goodness, that is absurd! No parent should have to pay that kind of money to have children when there are so many children that need good parents. The system is flawed, seriously flawed. Where is the common sense.

    I seriously wish there was something I could do. I think about you a lot and was just telling a friend about your adoption journey yesterday.

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    • Absurd is a great word for it! And yes, I to firmly believe that the system is flawed beyond belief.
      Thank you so much for your positive thoughts, by doing that you are do so much already! 🙂

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  13. I’m so sorry–this kind of stuff shouldn’t happen. Sometimes it boggles my mind how much having children can cost! And this just feels like a bait and switch. I hope that you find peace with the cost and the process. I’m sorry that this adoption journey has been less than smooth.

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    • You are so right, it feels like the bait and switch has happened, and that just makes me so angry! And, completely distrustful of the system and the agencies involved.
      Thank you so much for your positive thoughts! No-one ever said adoption is easy, and now that we are in it we completely agree.

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  14. I knew international adoption was expensive, but I had no idea how much it could actually be! That is insane and you absolutely have every right to voice your frustrations. I’ll be sending positive thoughts your way, and hopefully something will work out. Hang in there!

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  15. This is just insanely expensive. 😦 I don’t see it as complaining. You have to talk about what you have to talk about. I hope that this will all work out perfectly in the end… but it’s so stressful in the mean time. 😦

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  16. Adoption is crazy expensive. And it always seems like it’s more expensive that we anticipate. Who knew it would cost so much to start our families?! ~J

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  18. That’s insane. I appreciate the transparency and I don’t see this as complaining at all. If anything, your documentation of this process is really exposing the massive flaws in the system. I knew adoption was expensive – which is why we’ve never seriously considered it – but hot damn this is way above and beyond what I’d expected.
    I really hope it doesn’t end up being 100k, or that you can at least apply for and receive some grants. Adoption shouldn’t just be for the super rich. :/

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    • I like your perspective that I’m just being transparent about the process. That really makes me feel better about sharing this. 🙂
      You make such a great point that adoption shouldn’t just be for the super rich. When I start thinking about the money involved in adoption it actually breaks my heart because everyone involved is involved because either they lack money or they have a surplus of it. And this is just isn’t right. I’m really having a hard time wrapping my mind around the class dynamics involved in adoption.

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  21. This is beyond ridiculous. I don’t understand why it costs so much! 😦 I hope you and your husband are able to figure out a way to make this all work. You are definitely in my thoughts! ❤

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  22. I feel bad about complaining about my measly $10k that I have to save up. But I feel your pain. It’s difficult to not throw your hands up and say ‘f*ck it’. I hope you find a job with minimum effort and maximum payout. I’ll be joining you in the job search. Hang in there, friend.

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    • Thank you so much for your compassion! I think no matter the actual dollar figure, it sucks to be saving money just to get our children! It seems so crazy that we are going broke before we even have a child….it makes no sense!
      Best wishes to you on your job hunt as well! I hope we both have good news soon. 🙂

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  23. I hear ya girl! We looked in adoption and honestly the money side of it was extremely stressful! Yes IVF is expensive, but I can understand that to be honest. While I think IVF is still too expensive, adoption is insanely expensive. My mom talked about how insane it is especially when all these children in the world need a loving family. We still really want to adopt one day, but right now money became a huge factor in us deciding to wait. Praying for you!

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    • Thanks for understanding! I also understand why IVF is expensive – I see where the dollars are going, it makes sense when you factor in the medications, the OR time, the RE time, etc. But, I cannot see where the money is going in adoption and I’m starting to feel like some people are getting really wealthy and it really bothers me!

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  24. That is a massive amount to have to pay out and give and get what you desperately want: a family. I can’t believe all of that money goes towards helping the children or others, I wonder how many people are disgustingly making a profit from everyones needs. So wrong.

    And you should definitely complain, you have every right too.

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    • I am starting to firmly believe that the vast majority of the money goes towards making a select few very wealthy. When I hear that some birth mother expenses typically range from $1500 – $7,000, I really don’t understand. And I agree with you, it’s simply wrong.

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  25. Wow, that is nuts. Its hard for me to wrap my head around why in the world is adoption so expensive. It shouldn’t be this hard to expand your family. Money is a HUGE part of this whole story and I think it’s perfectly acceptable to express your frustrations about the cost and expenses. Biggest hugs girl, I know that this is just a roadblock meant to keep your from experiencing joy and fearing what the final outcome might look like, it’s a distraction but I know, that I know, that I know, you two will find a way! PRAYING that the funds come as they are needed.

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    • Thank you so much for your understanding and being so compassionate! I too am at a complete loss for where all this money is going – I fear that it is just making a few select individuals in the process very wealthy. And I love your confidence in us to find a way, I do hope you are right!

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  26. Sending prayers that the financial fairy has way bigger powers than the fertility one. It seems incredibly wrong that to effectively save a soul you have to be bled dry on every level..you are in my thoughts xxxxxxx

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  27. As it has been said above….I think its good that you are bringing light to this because so many people have no idea how much adoption costs and they seem to think its just the easy answer to infertility…..when clearly there is nothing easy about the process and it is so outrageously expensive. There is also this stigma that exists about what is and is not ok to talk about when it comes to money and infertility. Someone told me recently how “lucky” I am that I have the option to make sacrifices in other areas of my life to afford fertility treatment. I truly don’t think anyone understands how much money it costs for all of this, and I would be truly freaking out if I was looking at 100k all at once. I don’t blame you for your sleepless nights and stress! I pray that you and Mr MPB can figure this out! xoxox

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    • Thank you so much for your encouragement to talk about the money side of this. It’s so unbelievably expensive that it’s almost impossible to hide from it, and I think you are right that people outside of IF/adoption don’t get it so there is value in discussing it. To be “lucky” to afford this is almost a crazy perspective – in my mind luck would be not facing IF to begin with.

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  28. That is a staggering number. I’d be losing sleep, too. I don’t understand how the average family is supposed to make that work. I love that you’re being so open about this because people need to see this information. One of the first things my MIL asked after we told her I’m pregnant and hinted at it not being easy to get here (we offered NO details) was, “Why didn’t you just adopt?” My own mother even threw it out there before IVF. People really have no idea what it takes.

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    • Yes, it truly is a staggering number, that is costing us a lot of sleep.
      I’ve decided that average family is not supposed to be able to afford this bill, which I suspect is why the average family chooses to adopt locally where it is drastically cheaper (about $14,000 CAD) even though the wait is a minimum of 3 years.
      And yes, I think by talking about this, we will help people like your mom (and nearly everyone else out there) understand that adoption is not easy and it is not affordable to most.

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  29. That’s a pretty hefty price tag, friend, that’s for sure. But, honestly, when you want to become a parent as badly as some of us have, you are willing to pretty do anything, pay anything, try anything. It’s gonna be hard and trying to figure out how to get all of those funds together, but you do the best you can, and you keep pushing harder. I know when we were originally TTC, it was all out of pocket. Our wedding fund/house fund went out the window. We wanted those babies so bad that I was working 3 jobs just to keep us afloat, but we did it, and we made it, and we worked hard. I don’t expect anything less from you and Mr. MPB. We’re on this end rooting for you (and praying to the money fairies to drop a little extra your way, maybe in the form of a winning lotto ticket! 😉

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    • You are right, once you’ve made your mind up about having children, our decisions become about having children regardless of the cost. I struggle with this, it goes against all of my standard pragmatic thinking. But I guess that’s what highly emotional decisions do to people. And, that’s why there we (and everyone else in IF land) do and try everything!
      Thank you so much for your love and for your hope! Clearly we can use a money fairy right now!! 🙂

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  30. Yikes! That is a scary total. It needs to be talked about more! I always hate people telling me to ‘just adopt.’ Honestly, unless you are in the situation, you have no clue. It isn’t as easy as flipping through a damn catalog like so many think. Praying for a solution. Xx

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    • Thank you so much for your understanding! I agree with you, people need to understand that adoption isn’t cheap (or easy for that matter), and then maybe people will stop suggesting that people should “just adopt”

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  31. Hugs, money for babies is just so so unfair but such a common thing these days. We are in debt for our baby before he or she arrives which seems so wrong but we had no choice, we NEED a family. Thinking of you xx

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  32. It is very daunting isn’t it. When I wanted to start the adoption process and Hubby was resistant we saw it was going to cost us quite a lot of money whether we adopted in Australia or overseas and in some cases a LOT of waiting. In Australia you can be waiting for 14 years for a child of any age because the Australian Govt will not allow the adoption of a child unless the parents give their consent or have passed away with no living or willing relatives. It doesn’t matter what the parents have done to the children, they will just be put in foster care until they are 18. Talk about ruining a kids life right? Sorry those are my own issues.
    The money we would have to invest scared us off for now, but I think we will come back around to it if we have not had success by the end of this year.
    All my wishes to you that you experience some financial windfall in the immediate future. It is a hard road, but I also look at it like this, once you have your baby you will never look at that child and say, ‘I regret spending all that money on you’. However, if you don’t do it I have a feeling there will be a lot of regrets.

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    • I’ve heard before that Australia is one of the hardest countries to adopt in, so I was fascinated reading what you shared here. It really does sound like an odd system which is not looking out for the best interests of the children. It makes no sense to me.
      I appreciate your understanding on the adoption decision and the importance of money, particularly when it is an international adoption.
      And, thank you for your very last comment and reminder that we will never regret our decision to spend the money once we have our little one in our arms – it will be worth it and there will be no regrets!
      Wishing you the best as well, and hoping you get your little one before you have to re-evaluate the cost involved in adoption.

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  33. I am so sorry that the price tag is so freaking high. It angers me so much that money plays such a huge role in family building if a romantic roll around doesn’t do the trick. Why is it that the harder things are, the more complex the issue, the bigger the bill? I am glad that you are making these difficult decisions together and talking them through, and figuring out what is right for you. I hope that the answers come. Man, I wish this was easier. It’s just not fair. Thinking of you as you figure out this next hurdle.

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    • Thank you so much Jess! I think you are right, it’s good that we are talking through this together, and finding the right answer for us.
      Like you say, I too wish this was easier for both of us!! It’s not fair, but somehow we will both eventually get our own little ones! 🙂

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  34. Wow, I had no idea how truly expensive it is for international adoption. Doesn’t seem fair. I hope you can come up with a good workable fair solution that gives you the money you need without the associated stress.

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  35. That’s crazy that it’s SOOO much more than what you were originally told to plan for!! I mean, most people don’t just have that kind of money sitting around, that’s so misleading. I’m sorry that this has caused some strife between you guys, when you’ve already been through so much already. I know that in the end you’ll work everything out, I just wish it would come easier for you. And you have every right to complain…though I don’t think this is complaining at all. I feel like you’re just venting and getting things off your chest. It’s not good to keep things inside…which is I think why so many of us have started blogs to begin with. Hang in there my friend, hopefully things get easier soon. *hugs*

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    • It is crazy, and I’m pretty mad that the price suddenly jumped. I get the changing dollar, we’ve been watching that and preparing for that, but to see our other costs increase was/is horrible and obviously stressful.
      Thank you so much for your love, your support and your encouragement! I so hope things get easier soon – we could really use a break from all the chaos.

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  37. Personally, I wouldn’t abandon Iceland or take a sub-par job. Self care is so important in this process. You deserve a child, a job you love, and to take trips. The money will come, I promise.

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    • I so love your approach Elizabeth! I love your confidence and I love your thinking!
      I’ve been saying this to Mr. MPB too – I am so afraid that we are going to start living in a box again, watching life go on for everyone else but stopping time for us. Similar to the RPL/IF pregnancy bubble we used to live in, but different at the same time. We’ve worked so hard to reclaim our lives and move outside of the old box, so I’m really afraid that we are going to do it again. And giving up things that are important to me/us, is just a new box and it’s not a healthy way to live.
      Thank you again for this comment. Thank you.

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  38. That is a crazy amount of money. I’d be freaking out as well. I can’t even imagine being able to find that much in 12 months. What I do know is that you will get through this and you will find a way to realise this dream because you want it to happen so much xxx

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    • Crazy feels like an understatement right now. I hope you are right, that we will get through this and find a way to make it happen. Thank you so much for your confidence, I hope it’s contagious and I catch it from you. 🙂

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  39. That is outrageously expensive! I agree, it’s so wrong on so many levels. We plan to pay half that to adopt from Haiti (and many other Latin American or African countries are set up similarly). Being from the U.S., maybe the expense is a little better, but I wanted to throw that out there in case you might consider another country. There are many children in need, but you have to do what is right for you and your family. It’s a very complicated decision. (And I know you are very good at weighing all the pros and cons of all decisions.) My thoughts are with you and I am so sad to hear how much of an absurd struggle this, too, has become for you. Xo

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    • Part of why I am so angry about this happening right now is that all our documents are with the government being approved with this agency, so to change it now to somewhere like Haiti means we have to start over. If we knew this even just a few weeks earlier we could have made changes, but now it’s going to take months to redo everything. It’s frustrating and we are feeling trapped.

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  41. OH. MY. GOD. That’s a hefty chunk of change. In our own way, Mr. O and I had a financial freak out over the cost of daycare (one place quoted more than what it cost for me to go to college.)

    After the panic attack subsides, it is important to remember that you do still have options. True, it means a shift in your plans (i.e. getting a job for you, delaying some other purchases) but you can do these things. Not ideal, but you CAN do them and that is something to be positive about.

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    • It really is a hefty chunk of change just to get to having a kid! Thank you for reminding me that we have options, we just have to decide which ones are best for us.
      Also, I hope you guys are ale to sort out the cost of daycare – I’m sure there will be a day where I too get to stress about that cost. 🙂

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  42. I had no idea it was that expensive. My goodness! What happens when a loving family of less means cannot come up with the funds? Is it game over then and there?

    Please tell me no.

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    • Unless they can find the money, I cannot see how they would have a chance to adopt. Adopting locally is far more affordable, but the wait time is drastically longer. Or foster to adopt is another option.
      Honestly, the societal class structure associated with adoption is making me sick. I’m really struggling with it.

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      • Absolutely! It breaks my heart even more that many of those choosing to place their children up for adoption are doing so because of their low income and therefore their perceived inability to care for the child.
        The system just isn’t right. And I’m struggling with our role in it.

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  46. Wow, that is insane and makes me angry. We are on our second adoption now (US citizens) and the costs were nowhere near those levels (The average cost in the Us is currently about 32k). We are also working with an ethical agencies which prioritizes birth parent needs, so they are not all this way- but we had a lot of choices og agencies and you might not as I know they don’t all work in Canada. But I do know that this kind of stuff exists too where some agencies are charging… but for what? I am not sure though that you have the same options as we do within the US with choosing a US agency. That is too much $, agreed. We would not have been able to afford that either… I am glad to read above that you do get a tax break. That helps a lot… Also- we were refunded a lot of our fees- we had to put a large amount in escorow and got a big refund once the adoption was completed.

    That all being said, it is worth it. You will become parents. .And open adoption has been fantastic. We have a really great relationship with the birth family and there was nothing to fear there for us. I am in a lot of open adoption support groups and I see very few concerning stories, most people end up wishing they had more contact rather than less… In any case if you ever want to talk to someone about open adoption, I am here! I am glad you found something that works for your family. We faced similar questions and decisions and lists when deciding to pursue adoption after many failed IVFs, pregnancies and more. I have never once regretted our decision- or the money spent.

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    • Thanks so much for all of this!! You are right, as Canadians we have 5 agencies we can chose from in the USA – 5. Seriously, only 5. And, of those 5, most of them are not currently accepting international applicants, so we are kind of stuck with the one agency we are working with. It’s frustrating to say the least, because if we had more choice, I suspect we would not be working with the agency we are. The fees are simply outrageous, but we just don’t have a choice and we really feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.
      But, as you say, it will be worth it. I keep telling myself that, and holding on to that fact. I think I have to to keep my sanity through this. 🙂
      Also, thanks so much for your offer to talk about open adoption with you!! I am always looking to learn from those, like yourself, who are actually living the open adoption way! I am so excited to follow your journey and get to watch and learn from you – thank you!!

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    • Thanks so much!! This is a wonderful idea, and if I were on facebook I’d absolutely take you up on the offer!! (I am pretty sure I am one of the last 10 people in the world who are not part of facebook). 🙂

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  48. Well keep it in mind, you don’t have to go in on the whole FB experience for a group… also- a lot of us keep in touch with birth families on there (in secret groups, not for public to see) as it’s handy. Though I get it, I have a few friends off the grid too. Somedays I wish I had no parts of FB and just focus on the groups. 🙂

    Good luck with everything, always here to talk. I had so many fears in the beginning!

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    • Thanks! I used to be a FB person, but deleted it a few years back when I realized I only went onto it to procrastinate. I do miss connecting with a few people but for the most part I really appreciate not being part of it. But who knows, maybe one day I’ll end up back on it. 🙂

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  49. Pingback: One Great Thing About Adoption | My Perfect Breakdown

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