You Can Have Mine Anytime
So this went down just the other day when I visited a friend’s family while travelling for work. I’ll just say upfront that my blood is still boiling….
Friend: Oh, can you stay with our 3 kids for a few hours tonight?
Me: Ummm…sure. (thinking, I haven’t seen you in 6+ months and thought I was coming to visit the family, not babysit). I do have a 2 hour drive when I leave your house tonight, so I am hoping to be on the road by 7pm (thinking, don’t you dare make me drive through the night).
Friend: Oh, ya, I’ll be back as quick as I can. You’ll be on time, I’m sure. The kids will be great, the older ones will help with the baby. And they can just stay up until I get home so you just need to get all 3 of them ready for bed.
Me: Okay. Sounds great.
Friend leaves. I attempt to wrangle 3 kids between the ages of 1 and 6 to get ready for bed. I spend more time counting down to three (their parents preferred technique) to get the 2 older kids to get ready for bed. Baby pretty much hated me (because she basically doesn’t know me), but thankfully baby is pretty entertained by flipping pages in a book.
Friend returns. I rush to leave.
Friend: Thanks so much. I bet you’d love to have 3 kids now.
Me: Nope, I’m good with my one. (Thinking, I’d give anything for another kid or two).
Friend: You can take mine anytime. Like anytime.
Me: Laughing (Thinking, you jerk. I’d do anything to have another kid, and you made the choice to have three. How dare you try to give them away, and pawn them off on someone else. You have no idea how luck you are).
And you know what, I’m still annoyed. First off, I didn’t miss seeing Little MPB today just so I leave early to stop by and babysit your kids, especially since you didn’t ask first. (I probably still would have come and helped out, but seriously, they could have asked first). And, don’t ever tell me that I can just have your kids since I cannot have more of my own.
I know fertile people don’t always get what it’s like to experience multiple miscarriages. Some clearly have no idea what it’s like to not be able to have the family you always dreamed of having. Some have no idea how these “jokes” open up old scars and make my heart hurt. And some just don’t understand how hard it is to hear people not want their kids around and how irritating it is to hear people try to pawn off their kids as if they are some sort of inconvenience.
My silver living is that I did get to drive mostly in the light. So, I guess it could have been worse.
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