Adoption Is

I’ve been having a hard time lately with the adoption process and our increased costs. I am beyond frustrated with the ever changing paperwork and requests. I am starting to feel like I am throwing darts in the dark, just hoping something lands in the right spot. The decisions we are facing feel overwhelming.

So today, I am sharing from my heart as a prospective adoptive parent working through the complicated international adoption process for the first time.


The adoption process is a test.

Of patience.

Of perseverance.

Of character.

Of strength.


Adoption is exhausting,

The personal scrutiny seems constant.

Adoption is hard work,

The requests for information are never ending.

Adoption is stressful,

We want to be the best we can possibly be.

Adoption is self-discovery,

The decisions we face require a lot of personal insight and self-doubt.

Adoption is heartbreaking,

To gain a child, someone places a child.

Adoption is paperwork,

A constant flood of questions and answers.

Adoption is a marathon,

The process is constant and ongoing.


Adoption has a light at the end of the tunnel.

Of a child.

Of a complete family.


Adoption is hope.

Adoption is love.

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40 Comments on “Adoption Is

  1. Really beautifully put. Writing is always a good ‘therapy’ for me – looks like you process through the written word, too. And you do a great job of it!


  2. I love this. I haven’t had a chance to comment on your last couple of posts because of work craziness, but I wanted to let you know that I’ve been thinking about you and sending silent strength your way as you work through these big decisions. I have complete confidence that you and Mr. MPB will make the best decision for your family. As always, feel free to email me if you want a sounding board for anything. Xo.


    • Thank you so much my friend! I understand that work and life can be so busy, and so I really appreciate the silent strength!
      I hope your confidence will wear off on me, I could sure use it. 🙂


  3. I know how hard this process has been on you. I am inspired by how you continue to persevere through it using different strategies. I’m sure that there are so many out there struggling with the same adoption issues, who would be comforted by your blog.


  4. You express these feelings so beautifully. What a journey it’s been, and not over yet! Thanks for letting us in to your personal decisions and thoughts.


  5. Beautifully written. Hope this helped you work through some of your feelings and stress. Just focus on one thing at a time, and know that in the end you’ll have your baby.


  6. From my understanding you are in Canada yes? If I’m wrong I apologize.

    I don’t know how much paperwork varies from the US to Canada. But I do know how daunting all of it is. I’m in the middle of doing a home study for the second time and it can be extremely frustrating. It seems never ending. However I promise you it is all worth it.Hang in there.


    • Trisha, we are in Canada and we are adopting from the USA. So, we get to navigate both systems, ideally without losing our minds! 🙂
      The last week has been particularaly tough as our USA agency has upped their fees quite substantially, so we’ve been stressed about how much we can stretch ourselves. So, I really appreciate your reminder that it is worth it!


  7. This is beautiful and oh so heartbreaking. I can’t wait until you have your little one in your arms and am sending you love and prayers until that day.


    • I’m starting to think adoption is a beautiful thing, if you can get through the process! Thank you so much for your love and compassion! Hopefully we get our little one in are arms sooner rather then later. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for this, I’ve been thinking about the tough time and decisions you have been facing lately and realised that not enough people have an awareness of the ups and downs. Your post captures it nicely so I shared it on my facebook, I’d like my friends to know more about it like I have been learning through your blog

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for sharing this. Now that we are in the adoption process I am a firm believer that awareness about adoption is critical. Both about the complexities of the process for adoptive parents, and about how open adoption works in general.
      Thank you again!


  9. Well said. It is definitely a demanding process, but that light at the end of the tunnel is what makes it all worth it! I hope the frustrations lessen. It would be so nice to have a crystal ball and know how long we wait, how difficult things will actually end up being, when the “worth it” begins. Without that, you’re so right — adoption is hope and love and a marathon. You’ll get to the end, sweaty and exhausted and pushed to your limits, but that finish line will be awfully sweet. Best to you!


    • Thank you so much Jess!
      I would love a crystal ball! Heck, I would have loved a crystal ball 5 miscarriages ago, just as I’m sure you would have loved one before all your treatments too. It’s too bad we have no way to know what our future holds, but then I guess what would the point on living be?
      I hope we get both get the end of our adoption finish line sooner then either of us expect. 🙂


  10. I think that it is wonderful for you to be so honest about your experiences. When someone has infertility the advice is, “who don’t you “just” adopt”. As if adoption is so simple.


    • Thank you for your encouragement to be so honest. 🙂
      It’s funny, the comment of “just adopt” used to drive me crazy when we were in the RPL world. Now, it absolutely infuriates me, because I know what it means to adoption a no-one in their right mind would actually choose to go through this process! It will be worth it one day, but today, as we are living it, it’s just mind-boggling frustrating!


  11. Pingback: Searching For Meaning Through Loss | My Perfect Breakdown

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