Hello? Is Anyone Out There?
Does this still work?
I wanted to stop by and let people know I am alive, and we are getting by. Life has been busy, but also some of our early 2019 hardships have turned out okay.
First, I am still lost. Unlike many infertility bloggers, I have not vanished because I’m too busy. Rather I’m still struggling with how to write, knowing that someone out there has figured out who I am. The concern is not about me, but rather I don’t want to turn Little MPB into a poster-child for adoption. And so, I’m stuck. Everyday I want to write, yet every day I don’t write. I truly don’t know how to merge these realities.
Second, Doodle MPB. My gosh, is she ever the most challenging dog I’ve ever met! Yet, her heart of gold, keeps us dedicated. She goes to doggy daycare twice a week, and we are all staying sane. She definitely needs more walks, and definitely always wants more snuggles. But, she’s been healthy for the last few months and we seem to have found an equilibrium that works for our family and keeps her mostly sane.
Third, the brain surgery is done and went well. The tumor was benign. The surgery went so well the team asked to use the video they took as a teach tool for future neurologists. Our family member is expected to survive and lead a normal life. We couldn’t have asked for a better outcome. Thankfully.
Fourth, cancer is cancer and Alzheimer’s is Alzheimer’s. Terminal cancer and late stage Alzheimer’s are the devil. These diagnosis wont change, but the love that comes out in such hard times is nothing short of beautiful and inspirational. Hopefully quality of life continues for as long as possible. And I will continue to hope that our visit in August will be as magical as I imagine it will be.
Fifth, we survived June. June was insane. June had me on the road 15 days/nights with work. June had Mr. MPB working long days. June also had our family travel for a pre-brain surgery get together. June also had Mr. MPB traveling for the actual brain surgery. Some of this travel did not coordinate well, and other family members answered our call for help, stepping up when we needed them. June also saw a major poop regression (I swear potty training has been my absolute least favorite part of parenting thus far). But, to be fair, June has been incredibly stressful for all of us and Little MPB showed his stress in the only way he knows how.
Sixth, among the crazy I determined I need to be healthier. I signed up for a ladies soccer team. I also signed up to meet with a personal trainer twice a week, and convinced Mr. MPB to join me. It’s not perfect, because twice a week is really not enough, but at least it’s something. And right now, something is better then nothing.
Seventh, July and August will be spent as a family. Lots of time in the mountains. Lots of camping. Lots of playing at the park. Lots of swimming at the beach. Lots of time with friends and chosen-family. Lots of snuggles. Life wont be perfect, because I’m confident there is no such thing. But, I am looking forward to a summer of mostly good, almost perfect days with my family.
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