Mr. MPB and I are both going at about 200% right now.
We are both working countless hours trying to get more money to pay for our massive adoption bill that is due this week. The dollar figure is staggering and quite literally makes me feel sick to my stomach.
We are both trying to deal with the fact that our house is still not fully put back together after the reno. Work has come to a halt for the last few days as we are both too busy with life to even think about it.
We are trying to do more and more paperwork. Today I am mailing the first set of immigration paperwork so that our child will become a Canadian citizen.
Oh, and we are also trying to continue preparing for baby. Our constant activities seem to include shopping on Amazon.ca, washing baby stuff, putting together the nursery which had also become home to countless bathroom reno items that really need to be put away.
We are balancing calls with our adoption social workers and lawyers constantly. Trying to both participate in phone calls and yet separating tasks when we need to. Where we can we are taking the approach of divide and conquer. For example, Mr. MPB is dealing with organizing the money for the massive payment that’s due. I am dealing with immigration paperwork.
Both of us are struggling to deal with our work demands and constant adoption stuff. I’m literally watching my phone ring while in meetings for work and trying to figure out how quickly I can escape for a few minutes to call them back. And Mr. MPB is doing the exact same thing. It’s far less than ideal, but so far we are making it work.
We still need to pack baby stuff for our trip to meet baby. We know now that baby could come at any time and we could have to try to cross the continent in a matter of hours (which will basically be impossible, but I’m trying not to think about that possibility). So packing now is smart, but neither of us have the time to do that just yet. Maybe this weekend I’ll get to it.
Our to-do list is overwhelming. And each of our tempers are becoming a bit shorter these days. But, I guess that’s what a lack of sleep and stress does to most people.
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It has been 3 days since we spoke or texted with the birth mom. We expect to hear from her tomorrow as she has her weekly check-up with her OB and promised us updates.
I want to text her. But I have no idea what to say. And, I don’t know the rules regarding proper interaction quantity between birth mom’s and adoptive parents during the match. Right now I could really use a handbook entitled:
how to talk to someone who is seriously considering giving you their child.
Anyways, I’m yet to come across said handbook. And, I really doubt one could be written because every situation will be different. Every adoptive parent will be different and every single birth mom will be different.
But I can promise you, as someone trained in communication and facilitation, this has been the hardest interaction(s) I’ve ever had. Balancing our excitement, our fears and our need to be respectful to birth mom is very hard. And add in that the birth mom is likely (I say likely because I really don’t know and I cannot speak for her or any other birth mom) feeling a combination of excitement and fear. Seriously, hardest interactions ever.
Anyways, while I really want to text her and check in, I’m not. I don’t even know what I’d say if I texted her today. And, I really don’t want to be overbearing.
But seriously, I’m going crazy.
The silence is almost deafening.
So, I think my plan right now is that if we don’t here from here by tomorrow night, I think I’ll text and politely check in about her OB appointment. It gives me an excuse to say hi and check in on baby and her.
I have no idea how I am going to survive the next few weeks of this!
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My Perfect Breakdown 