The Silence Is Deafening
It has been 3 days since we spoke or texted with the birth mom. We expect to hear from her tomorrow as she has her weekly check-up with her OB and promised us updates.
I want to text her. But I have no idea what to say. And, I don’t know the rules regarding proper interaction quantity between birth mom’s and adoptive parents during the match. Right now I could really use a handbook entitled:
how to talk to someone who is seriously considering giving you their child.
Anyways, I’m yet to come across said handbook. And, I really doubt one could be written because every situation will be different. Every adoptive parent will be different and every single birth mom will be different.
But I can promise you, as someone trained in communication and facilitation, this has been the hardest interaction(s) I’ve ever had. Balancing our excitement, our fears and our need to be respectful to birth mom is very hard. And add in that the birth mom is likely (I say likely because I really don’t know and I cannot speak for her or any other birth mom) feeling a combination of excitement and fear. Seriously, hardest interactions ever.
Anyways, while I really want to text her and check in, I’m not. I don’t even know what I’d say if I texted her today. And, I really don’t want to be overbearing.
But seriously, I’m going crazy.
The silence is almost deafening.
So, I think my plan right now is that if we don’t here from here by tomorrow night, I think I’ll text and politely check in about her OB appointment. It gives me an excuse to say hi and check in on baby and her.
I have no idea how I am going to survive the next few weeks of this!
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