So, we got yet another surprise in terms of adoption process that I haven’t yet mentioned and that we weren’t prepared for.
When all the paperwork was signed by myself, my husband, our birth mother, our social worker, etc. and we found out that the immediate relinquishment waiver is not in fact effective immediately upon signing. But rather it becomes effective at the end of the next business day. For us, with how the dates have worked out, this means we have to wait through the weekend. We’ve made it through Saturday already, just a few more days.
Please note that I 100% respect the birth mother’s choice to change her mind and I cannot even begin to imagine her emotions around, but this post is not about that.
Rather, this post is about my anxiety as an adoptive mom.
We have a son. We have been caring for our son. We’ve been with him since just moments after his birth, we love him with every ounce of our beings. He has literally spent every single moment with us since we left the hospital and spent our first (very sleepless night) together as a family in our hotel.
He is our son.
No matter what happens over this weekend, he will always be my son in my heart. No matter what.
The bond we have already, the love in my heart, nothing will ever change that.
And I simply cannot imagine having to give him back. I honestly don’t know how we will get through that, should it happen. Just even discussing the possibility breaks my heart and brings tears to my eyes.
So, now we just have to find a way to get through the next few days without driving ourselves too insane with constant fear!
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I was not sure how leaving the hospital would go. I’ve been wondering about it for what feels like forever. Would I cry? Would I say something horribly sarcastic and probably inappropriate? Or would I trip and fall on my face (because I am actually known to do that from time to time)?
Well, once again, like everything, it went nothing like expected. No tears, no sarcasm and no unexpected trips!
The hospital required that the birth mom be wheeled out of the hospital with baby in her arms (she was physically fine, but the hospital requirement was that she use a wheel chair).
Additionally, even though she wanted to walk home the hospital would not allow it. So we clearly offered to drive her, and she accepted. Since we were driving her and she knew we needed a few baby things at a nearby store, she asked if she could join us to pick up a few things of her own.
And, so that’s what we did.
.
A lovely volunteer pushed her wheel chair. She held baby. Mr. MPB carried the car seat. I walked beside carrying bags.
We chatted the whole way out. Yet, I have absolutely no recollection of what we talked about.
Mr. MPB left us at the front door and brought the car around. When he returned, Mr. MPB got Baby MPB all snuggled safely away into the car seat. I jumped in the front seat and our birth mom sat with Baby MPB in the back seat.
We went from the hospital to the store. We shopped together – she got what she needed and we picked up a few things for Baby MPB.
Then, we dropped her off at her place and we went with Baby MPB to our hotel.
We parted ways knowing that we’d see each other the very next morning as we already made plans for a visit.
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My Perfect Breakdown 