I think there is an old saying that goes something like “the straw that broke the camel’s back.”  And I think I finally hit that point with Doodle MPB.  And yet, even though I’m frustrated to tears, I’m still not willing to give up on her.  Probably in part because what’s put me over the edge, truly isn’t her fault.  But also, there is just something in me that refuses to give up on her.

So what was the straw that brought me to tears?

That minor paw problem, turned out to be a bit more then just a broken nail.  Somehow she lacerated off the nail and part of the cartilage in that toe.  Knowing how bad the injury was the vet informed me that Doodle MPB should have been in so much pain that she couldn’t walk.  But not Doodle MPB, she came into the clinic walking, bouncing around and jumping all over everything.  (Which actually gets to my point that something’s just not wired normally in her brain).

Since her surgery last week she has worn a cone every single moment of the day, except for meal times.  Even with the cone on, she managed to get her post-surgery bandage off in less then 24 hours, but since we kept her from licking the wound with the cone, we were told it should heal up over the weekend.  Well, it didn’t work that way.  She’s a high energy dog on crate rest, which has not been going well – instead of lying down she spends her time try to climb out of her x-pen and jump on everything.  So every day she’s has fresh blood on her toe.

Needless to say, we’ve been so worried about her hurting herself, that I’ve been sleeping on the couch so that I can hear her if she manages to get tangled up on her cone during the night.

But more concerning then my poor sleep is the daily fresh blood, so first thing Monday morning we went back to the vet. And, lo and behold, her paw is not healing well enough.  So, she now has a new bandage and she’s will be sedated at home for the next 3 days to force her to calm down.  We shall see what happens.

You’d probably think I’d be upset about the amount of money we’ve spent as a direct result of Doodle MPB that has finally upset me.  But it’s actually not the fact that we are about $10,000 into this dog that has me so upset (puppy cost – $1400, puppy vaccination vet bills – $800, spay vet bill – $600, training – $3000, flooring replacement – $4000, puppy lacerated foot – $500 and counting).

It’s that it’s never ending with her.  Every single day of the last 5 months with her has felt like work, when I just don’t have the extra daily energy required for it – I do 90% of her walks, I do nearly all of her training sessions, I take her for grooming appointments, I take her to 90% of her vet appointments (which are way more frequent then they should be).  And now Doodle MPB cannot go on our upcoming camping weekend with extended family.  So, after calling all our possible doggy sitters, we’ve decided I wont be going on our next family camping trip as someone has to stay home with Doodle MPB.  Which means no weekend in the mountains for me, and that just makes me sad.  (To be fair, it’s Mr. MPB’s family, so obviously he’s going and not me.  And, we don’t want to cancel as this yearly camping trip is the only time Little MPB’s grandparents make an effort to see him and we don’t want to discourage the visit.  AIso, I really don’t think Mr. MPB is going to have the greatest weekend as he is going to be solely responsible for keeping the toddler alive in the mountains for 3 solid days).

As I complain about the puppy that has finally brought me to tears, I cannot help but laugh that it’s taken medical sedation to make her be peaceful and calm for more then 10 consecutive minutes.  And so, as I watch my sedated puppy sleep peacefully for the first time in her life, I cannot help but wonder, what’s she going to do when she wakes up?  Because I know this isn’t going to last forever.

If you like this post, please feel free to share and please click the follow button on the side or return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow.