If I’m honest, I always wanted a little boy and so did Mr. MPB. And, so we both always assumed that we’d have a little girl because that’s just how my life usually works. Of course we always knew she we’d love a boy or a girl, but we both had a slight preference for a boy.
So, when we started putting together a nursery, before we knew the child’s sex, it turned out the colours we chose were pretty much gender neutral – greens and yellows. And a few things of blue, because I love blue. We made a real effort to buy some gender neutral clothing as well, which turned out to be harder then I expected. Girl clothing is distinctly girly. Boy clothing can be slightly gender neutral, but it’s still pretty boyish.
When we chose adoption we had to make what felt like 100,000 decisions on what we would accept or not accept. One thing we both knew instantly is that we would not select sex. In fact, we made the decision that if it wasn’t something we could have selected if we had a child the “traditional” way, then we also wouldn’t make any selections that would influence the outcome of our adoption. So we checked both boxes – boy and girl – knowing we’d love whatever sex of child we would be fortunate enough to have. But both Mr. MPB and I will admit we both hoped we’d get a boy.
And, I still remember finding out that Little MPB was a boy. It was in the paperwork we were sent for our match and we told our social worker NOT to tell us the sex and to block it out within the documents. She slipped up and said he in the conversation. To which my eyes went wide and I exclaimed It’s a Boy?!!? She of course apologized but we were over the moon, and honestly it didn’t matter, we were thrilled!! And then a few days later during our first conversation with our son’s potential birth mother, she asked if we wanted a boy. Thankfully the secrete was already out and we were able to gush over how excited we were to have a boy!
Anyways, the point of this I mainly wanted a boy because I am not very girly so far as stereotypes go. I don’t like pink. I’d rather go for a hike then go get my nails done (although I do like having my nails done). I have no idea how to braid hair or do any sort of cute hair style. I don’t know the last time I put make-up on (in fact I recently threw out all my make up because it would be so old that it probably turned toxic). And, dresses, clearly this non-makeup wearing girl, prefers pants any day.
But in all seriousness, I always just felt like I’d be a better mom for a boy because I’ve always had more in common with boys then girls.
And now that I’m actually a boy mom, I am beyond thrilled to be a boy mom!! I just love my little boy so much!
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I’ve written pretty extensively about my struggles with sleep and illness since becoming a mother. Sleep problems seem to be pretty normal for new mom’s (and dad’s). But what’s been frustrating for us is that Little MPB has been a very good sleeper since basically day 1 (unless something is wrong like he’s teething or sick. In fact, last night Little MPB slept 10.5 hours without waking up, the night before was 11.5 hours. Truly, we are fortunate.
But, while living in hotels in the USA with a newborn we quickly learned that I don’t sleep through any of his sounds. Every single sound made me think he was choking and dying. This problem persisted when we got home. In fact, Mr. MPB and Little MPB often shared a room (not in bed, we were never co-sleepers it just wasn’t for us) because I just simply would not sleep if I could hear Baby MPB. At about 3 months we transferred Little MPB to his crib in part because Mr. MPB and I wanted to sleep together again and we really wanted me to try to sleep better again. Well, it made no difference for me. Somehow I have super sonic hearing, and I still hear every sound. And somewhere in all of this I started just waking up after I’d get up with Little MPB – and I’ll be up for hours during the night. Which means I was living off 4-6 hours of sleep on good nights, even though the rest of the house was sound asleep.
All the while Mr. MPB can sleep through nearly all of Little MPB’s sounds (including crying). And, Mr. MPB can also go right back to sleep after being up with Little MPB (I’m beyond jealous of this skill).
So, after writing about deciding to get sleeping pills, I instead decided the reality is I do fall asleep very easily at 10pm. The problem is purely that I just need to stay asleep through the night, so I’m not sure how sleeping pills would really help at 4am as I’d probably just end up sleeping through the day. So, the decision became that I am no longer going to get up with Little MPB as often (Mr. MPB is). And, a few nights a week I am now sleeping in the basement so that I can sleep through the night without hearing Little MPB at all.
This means Mr. MPB is doing more at night. But, I will point out that Little MPB is sleeping really well right now – he’s healthy and he has no teeth coming through.
Since I finally said I just cannot function without more sleep, and I’ve taken the steps to get more sleep, all of the sudden I’ve been relatively healthy for almost a month!!
Funny how sleep is directly correlated to our overall health.
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