Boy Or Girl

If I’m honest, I always wanted a little boy and so did Mr. MPB.  And, so we both always assumed that we’d have a little girl because that’s just how my life usually works.  Of course we always knew she we’d love a boy or a girl, but we both had a slight preference for a boy.

So, when we started putting together a nursery, before we knew the child’s sex, it turned out the colours we chose were pretty much gender neutral – greens and yellows.  And a few things of blue, because I love blue.  We made a real effort to buy some gender neutral clothing as well, which turned out to be harder then I expected.  Girl clothing is distinctly girly.  Boy clothing can be slightly gender neutral, but it’s still pretty boyish.

When we chose adoption we had to make what felt like 100,000 decisions on what we would accept or not accept.  One thing we both knew instantly is that we would not select sex.  In fact, we made the decision that if it wasn’t something we could have selected if we had a child the “traditional” way, then we also wouldn’t make any selections that would influence the outcome of our adoption.  So we checked both boxes – boy and girl – knowing we’d love whatever sex of child we would be fortunate enough to have.  But both Mr. MPB and I will admit we both hoped we’d get a boy.

And, I still remember finding out that Little MPB was a boy.  It was in the paperwork we were sent for our match and we told our social worker NOT to tell us the sex and to block it out within the documents.  She slipped up and said he in the conversation.  To which my eyes went wide and I exclaimed It’s a Boy?!!?  She of course apologized but we were over the moon, and honestly it didn’t matter, we were thrilled!!  And then a few days later during our first conversation with our son’s potential birth mother, she asked if we wanted a boy. Thankfully the secrete was already out and we were able to gush over how excited we were to have a boy!

Anyways, the point of this I mainly wanted a boy because I am not very girly so far as stereotypes go.  I don’t like pink.  I’d rather go for a hike then go get my nails done (although I do like having my nails done).  I have no idea how to braid hair or do any sort of cute hair style.  I don’t know the last time I put make-up on (in fact I recently threw out all my make up because it would be so old that it probably turned toxic).  And, dresses, clearly this non-makeup wearing girl, prefers pants any day.

But in all seriousness, I always just felt like I’d be a better mom for a boy because I’ve always had more in common with boys then girls.

And now that I’m actually a boy mom, I am beyond thrilled to be a boy mom!!  I just love my little boy so much!

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18 Comments on “Boy Or Girl

  1. I feel exactly the same for all the exact same reasons. We don’t know what sex our embryo is but our last transfer the embryo was a girl and I spent all of the tww changing my mindset and getting excited for a girl. I think I got in the right frame of mind and was even a little excited about the prospect. I think I needed that embryo to get over my bias.

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  2. Even though we didn’t have our son through adoption, I can completely relate to this post. We found out the gender of our baby as soon as we could, but when we went to the appointment where we would find out, we both had super strong feelings that the baby was a girl. We had even started seriously talking girl names and looking at girl clothing in stores. But when we found out it was a boy, we both admitted to each other that we had secretly been hoping for a boy. I’m exactly like you with being able to relate to more “boy” things and I’m so not a frills and pink kind of girl. I like to dress up on occasion, but prefer workout clothing and running shoes on a day to day basis. My makeup routine is so minimal but it’s mainly to cover up the dark circles under my mom eyes. My hair is either straight…or in a ponytail. I can’t braid worth sh**. I was definitely not meant to be a mom to a girl! Everyone says little boy clothing is so boring, but I seriously love it!!

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  3. I felt the same way about wanting a daughter and being so lucky to get what I wanted (even though I hate pink and she is always getting mistaken for a boy because I dress her in so much blue). People always say you won’t care what their sex is once they are born, and I’ll never know if I would have been just as happy with a boy. I still feel like I wouldn’t have been…. My wife wanted boy, though, and although she still wishes we could have a son (in addition to our daughter, not instead of), she says there is nothing she would change about the baby we got. Curious, though, what it would be like to hope for one and get the other.

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    • My husband and I actually both wanted a girl and got two boys. I’m not very girly either, but I thought that parenting a girl would allow me to experience those things vicariously, as well as affording me the opportunity to share my hard-earned wisdom from navigating the world as a female myself.

      We are both perfectly content with our two boys in spite of her pre-parenthood inclinations. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

    • I had hoped for a boy. Not because I’m not girly (I’m not, especially, but I didn’t think that mattered), but because I had/have a terrible relationship with my own mother and worried I wouldn’t be good at parenting a daughter. I had a girl. I thank my lucky stars every single day that I didn’t get what I thought I wanted because she is amazing and I can’t imagine loving *anyone more than I love her. (And getting to BE the mother I always wished I had to a daughter is incredibly healing for me which has been an amazing surprise.) I’m undecided on the question of more children but would be absolutely THRILLED with another daughter, and maybe even (temporarily) disappointed if that’s not what I got.

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  4. Oh my goodness this is me. When I found out Nora was a girl, I panicked just a tad because I have no idea what to do with a girl! I don’t do princesses, or make-up, or dresses. I like classic cars, prefer a good hike, but I’ll tell you what this girl that we got, she’s a firecracker. She plays with cars and tools, and prefers playing in the dirt than with the kitchen set we were given. Even if your ‘he’ would have been a ‘she’, I can promise you, she probably wouldn’t have been very girly. πŸ™‚

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  5. I’m glad that you guys not only had your dream of a baby come true, but also that your dream of a baby boy come true!! It’s nice when you actually get something that you want out of life once in a while!
    I always wanted a girl desperately, but if she turns out to be a girly-girl, I’m not sure what I’ll do!! I don’t wear dresses or make-up either. I hate pink (which a friend commented on the fact that she wears so much pink…it’s hard to find girl clothes in other colors!) and frills and glitter and all things girly. Knowing my luck, she’ll want all that stuff lol!!

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  6. We both really wanted a boy, too! Haha. Charlotte is perfect, though. I think we were both worried we’d end up with a total girly girl that we didn’t know how to relate to, but she’s the perfect mix. She loves getting down and dirty outside. She loves sports. She hates dresses and skirts. She’s our perfect kid. Although something tells me that would have been the case no matter what kind of a kid we had.

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  7. Little boys are so special. So very glad you got your gender of preference. I wanted a boy first time around and knew it was a ‘he’ before the doctors did. Xo

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  8. I always felt like a ‘boy’ mum. Az soon as I got pregnant I knew it was probably a boy and I was right! I love being a boy mum ❀ IF there is a next time, I would love to see what I feel then, I guess my intuition has a 50/50 chance of being correct πŸ˜‚

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  9. We didn’t have the option of checking two boxes. The Ethiopian authorities insisted on us choosing the sex of our (potential) child. I have always wondered why . . .
    During the second adoption process, the question came again. But this time it wasn’t “son? or daughter?”, it was “sister? or brother?”.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Awesome 😎I’ve never been a girly girl either so worried how I’d go with a girl but I actually love it! I have one of each now and it is slightly different even though it shouldn’t be. I enjoy both for different reasons but the girl has been a lovely surprise 😁

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  11. I totally wanted a boy, just like you! So happy I got one! I would have been happy either way but I definitely had a preference. I think because I found being a girl really hard and wanted to be a boy until I was an adult. I didn’t want to have to go through all the stuff that girls do. Boys seem much more straightforward! Of course I think we would have been thrilled with a girl. All the people we know have had girls though so we can enjoy that vicariously! So happy for you that you got your boy!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. So happy you got your little boy.

    It’s funny how we have our preferences no matter how small. I always wanted a girl and after all the losses I didn’t care anymore. But very happy to have a little girl now!!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Well, i always say “as long asa child is healthy, it really doesnt matter”, and6 it is true; however, since i have become a mum to my little boy, i am absolutely delighted and really wouldnt know what to do with a girl. I also notice that i am reacting toward other baby boys more than girls. Also, to be honest, girls are always to worry about esp once she starts dating, then marriage….a boy can never be hurt as much as a girl….and after so much struggle to get a child, i just want to live my old days (provided i live that long) in peace. Also, when i think of my days when i was a teenager and baby-sitter, i always had more affection for baby boys (they used to be more peaceful than the girls i baby sat).
    In any case, i am happy that you got your little prince:)

    Liked by 1 person

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