A Beautiful Coincidence
The other day I used Craigslist and bought a gently used baby swing thing – a mamaRoo with an infant insert to be specific. They retail for over $300 here and I paid $100. I was really excited when I saw that the seat and infant insert are machine washable, so I’m not even worried about germs (or at least I wont be once I wash it). It’s definitely not a need item, but at that price I just couldn’t resist. And honestly if baby doesn’t like it, I’ll just re-sell it and buy another brand.
Anyways, the mamaRoo isn’t the point. Honestly, it doesn’t matter what I bought. It was the interaction with a perfect stranger that was fascinating.
She asked me if I had a little baby at home, and I said no, we are adopting and could be placed at anytime now, so we are just trying to get ready. A sentence that used to make me awkward, but now it’s become just as normal for me as it would be for a pregnant lady to state her due date when she’s asked. In response there were no looks of pity and no questions of why. Instead, I noticed instantly that her eyes lit up, as if a spark was ignited within her. Now, I can assure you, this has not be the normal response from people when we say we are adopting, so I immediately took notice. It turns out they too are adopting!! They have a few of their own biological children and are now in the early stages of an international adoption! There choice is not due to infertility, but rather the desire to adopt a child who would otherwise grow up in a orphanage. So, they are starting to sell baby stuff because they will be adopting a 2 or 3 year old.
It was almost as though our paths were meant to cross.
They are early in the process. They are at the point where you’ve entered adoption, you’re committed but you are starting to realize all the insane nuances that make no logical sense. Early enough in the process that they have started paying all kinds of bills but at the same time it feels like nothing is happening. Needless to say, we had quite the conversation! In fact, Mr. MPB was waiting for me in the car (as we always do when we buy things from online strangers) and was starting to worry because I was taking sooooo long. He knows I’m chatty, but this was beyond even normal chatty for me.
I remember being in her shoes. I remember being frustrated at the lack of movement from all the agencies involved in an international adoption. I remember being frustrated that they would happily cash our checks but not even have the courtesy to tell us they received our package. I remember wondering what the heck I was signing up for and questioning if I could get through it all. I remember being annoyed at the wait for agencies to approve documents. I remember the timelines being daunting. I also remember our fear of the home study only to realize that it really wasn’t a big deal. Honestly, I remember questioning everything (heck, some days I still find myself questioning everything). But, one thing I know for sure about international adoption is that the process isn’t easy. In fact, it’s beyond frustrating at times and has driven me absolutely batty on more then one occasion.
And so we chatted. She asked me questions and I answered to the best of my ability (since we are adopting from different counties I couldn’t relate to everything). She wanted to know how long the entire approval process takes, how much we expect to spend, what agency we are working with locally, how we got through the process, etc. All the types of questions that I too once asked and thought about. Honestly, it was a great conversation. I wish we had the entire evening to talk over a cup of tea. But neither of us had the time so I offered that she can reach out to me via email anytime. And if nothing else, I hope she appreciated knowing that all of her fears and frustrations are normal.
As I stood there chatting with her, I remembered how the first adoptive parents we talked to about adoption opened their home and hearts to us, and talked with us for hours about our fears and the their realities of being adoptive parents. To this day, I am still thankful for them. In fact, I have even told them that I credit the evening for helping give us the courage to choose adoption. So, in my own way, I felt like I was able to give something back to someone else in the adoption community!I Needless to say, I was thrilled!
If you like this post, please feel free to share and please click the follow button on the side or return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.