As we were preparing to leave the country to meet our infant son, I wrote about what we were packing. And I received a lot of helpful suggestions and comments.
Now that we are going to be travelling again, I think it’s time to write about what we actually used and needed.
Nearly all the clothing we packed for our little man were too big. Although he was born at full term he was a small little guy and required all preemie and new born outfits.
Our planned cute little shoe/feet picture never happened so the little shoes were pointless.
It also turns out I cannot wrap a swaddle for the life of me, so the swaddle blankets were pointless.
Oh, and the halo blankets we brought from home, in a Canadian winter were WAY to warm for the climate where he was born.
So ya, we pretty much brought an entire suitcase of things that we didn’t touch. (But we did get to drive that suitcase over 1000 miles around the USA and fly throughout the continent with it. Fun times).
I mistakenly assumed we’d do all our shopping online from Amazon.com, but it turns out we never knew how long we’d be in any particular hotel/city so we couldn’t have anything shipped to us. So, we became Walmart shoppers as there always seemed to be a Walmart within 2 minutes of each hotel.
So for anyone else out there who may spend the first few weeks of their child’s life in hotels and travelling, here’s what we really needed. Almost almost all of which we bought while in the USA:
- Car seat that is approved for the country you will be in. AN ABSOLUTE MUST HAVE
- Stroller
- Baby carrier for airplanes. AN ABSOLUTE MUST HAVE
- Multiple bottles with multiple nipples to try until we found the right one. But not a lot of any specific brand in-case baby didn’t like the brand. AN ABSOLUTE MUST HAVE
- Microwave sterilizing bags (we use Medela bags). These were a basic necessity as most of the time we did not have a kitchen so we did not have the ability to boil anything. (We still actually carry one of these in our diaper bag in-case we are out and about and need to clean something). AN ABSOLUTE MUST HAVE
- Small drying rack for bottle stuff.
- Bottle scrub brush and dish soap. AN ABSOLUTE MUST HAVE
- Less baby clothing, but more onesies of varying sizes. Our son still basically lives in onesies and halo swaddles. So, cute pants, shoes, shirts, etc. were all pointless and just took up space. Remember you may not have convenient laundry, so the more basics you can have the less frequently you will need to do laundry.
- A few Halo swaddle blankets – these have been an essential part of our lives as I cannot wrap a baby the traditional way if my life depended on it. AN ABSOLUTE MUST HAVE
- Bibs. And don’t buy cheap ones, they are pointless. AN ABSOLUTE MUST HAVE
- Burp cloths.
- Baby blankets, they just come in handy all the time.
- Diapers, formula, wipes. AN ABSOLUTE MUST HAVE
- Baby laundry detergent. AN ABSOLUTE MUST HAVE
- Some sort of dirty clothing bag that is convenient for travel. Babies are messy and hotel laundry is never conveniently located. Make sure you have something to transport laundry from hotel room to hotel laundry room / nearby laundromat – we used Walmart shopping bags and the entire time I wished I had something just a little bit better.
- Travel bassinet. Buy one before you leave or do your research and find the one you want in a store near where you will be. The first one we bought we didn’t even use for an entire night before we decided it wasn’t safe due to the angle of Baby MPB’s neck. So, that one went to goodwill and bought a new one on day 2. We liked it so much we brought it home with us and gave it to another family who will be adopting an infant internationally. AN ABSOLUTE MUST HAVE
- Bring an extra compact bag so when you buy more stuff you have a bag to bring it home in. (We had to buy one, but we have many at home that I wish we thought about this ahead of time).
- Diaper bag and change mat. Travelling with an infant means you get good at changing diapers in the car (while parked), restaurants and the airport. AN ABSOLUTE MUST HAVE
- A few things to feel “normal” – baby books, cute age blocks, a special first outfit to leave the hospital in, etc. These were all very important to me and I’m really glad I brought them. Nothing about having a newborn in a different country and in a hotel is “normal” so I’m glad we did a few extra special things.
Really the biggest thing I regret not packing was actually for me. I did not bring my gym clothing – no sports bra, no running shoes, no shorts and no water bottle. This was a massive mistake. When I get stressed, physical activity always helps my mental health. And international adoption is unbelievably stressful. And since we were in hotels with not much to do but watch a sleeping baby, there was a lot of down time that I could have easily spent in the gym while Mr. MPB watched baby (and vice versa). And, I suspect this would have been really good for my mental health during the chaos.
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When we got home from the USA, we made one simple thing very clear to everyone in our lives. PLEASE COME VISIT US, WE ARE NOT TRAVELING ANYTIME SOON.
We didn’t mean to be rude, we just needed to be home. We needed time to get our own routines figured out, cook in our own kitchen, be able to laundry whenever we wanted and just be.
We live in a city with amazing friends nearby, but without any family. And, it has always felt like it has been on us to visit our family. And, after the stress and anxiety of traveling for the first 3 weeks of Baby MPB’s life, we just couldn’t bare the thought of more travel. To be honest, the idea of hoping on a plane and/or driving hours to visit people literally brought tears to my eyes as I remembered everything we went through in the USA. Most of our immediate family (whose circumstances allowed for it we and we understand that not everyone can travel) made an effort to travel and meet baby MPB. However, there were some in our extended families who expected us to travel, and we just said no. In fact, there were multiple people who sent cards and gifts which we are so increadibly thankful for. But I’ll admit being much less thankful for the few handwritten notes in the cards indicating that they wished we had visited already. Heck, one family member suggested we should change our flights home from the USA so we could visit everyone on our way back to Canada, before we even got home.
But, we have decided it’s time. (The key is that WE decided it is time).
We drove about 6 hours (round trip) to visit my family on Easter weekend so that my extended family can meet Baby MPB. (As an aside, I typically hate Easter, and have avoided since my Mom and sister died a few days after Easter many years ago. But, Baby MPB deserves to have fun at Easter and so starting this year I will make an effort). As we did it as a one day visit there was lots of driving, but we figured it’s easier to come home for the night then to stay in someone else’s home and the thought of being away from home for a night literally makes me cringe as I remember everything we went through in the USA. So, if I’m being honest, I just really don’t want to do overnight travel yet. I saw this one day trip is the perfect way to introduce Baby MPB to even more of his extended family while keeping my anxiety under control.
As for Mr. MPB’s extended family, we just booked flights using points we accumulated on our visa while traveling in the USA (so we only have to pay the tax). I also found a great deal on a car rental (50% off), so the entire trip is beyond reasonable. That trip will occur in April. We debated waiting a few more months, but it turns out one of my favourite people in the entire world who lives halfway around the world (my aunt) will be in that city the same weekend and I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see her. This trip will necessitate overnight travel, but we are making it a very short long weekens trip. When we told the family, my Aunt was thrilled. But everyone else seemed to give us grief because we aren’t staying an entire week or even just a few more nights. But we know this short visit will be full of family visiting which will be a lot for us right now. Simple things like having to deal with formula prep and bottle cleaning in a kitchen that isn’t as clean as ours, or needing to ask to do laundry, or the possibility of having a screaming child wake everyone up at 3am makes both me nervous.
But, like I said, WE decided it’s time for Baby MPB to meet his extended family, and so that means it’s time for us to travel just a little bit. The real bonus is that from our time in the USA we are basically experts at long distance driving and flying with an infant now, so the actual travel will probably be pretty easy for us.
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