(Post attempt 2 – hopefully this time with the text.)
Some would probably say that Baby MPB is a spoiled child.
I beg to differ. Simply, I do not believe a child under 1 can be spoiled. There basic needs are pretty simple:
- food
- love
- safety/security
- developmental/educational toys/play
I fully admit, Baby MPB has all of this. In fact, he has as much of this as he could ever want. But, as I said, I just don’t believe it is possible to spoil a baby.
All this said, I am truly concerned about NOT spoiling Baby MPB with material goods as he grows up. In all likelihood he will be an only child. And the last thing I want is to have a spoiled only child – you know, the stereotypical only child who is so spoiled they never learn to share and play well with other children, but they do learn to want and demand more material thing all the time. You know, like Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
I know not all children are as spoiled as Veruca Salt, but it is still one of my fears.
So, it is really important to me that we, as his parents, help instill hard working values in him from a young age to help ensure he isn’t overly spoiled. But, I also realize that in the long run Baby MPB will likely have the ability to turn into a spoiled only child if we aren’t careful. And I also firmly believe that is on our shoulders to help prevent creating a spoiled brat at a young age because in reality we, the parents, have the ability to spoil him or not. So, for now, I will continue to buy him developmental toys, but as he begins to grow up and understand life a bit more, we will have to train ourselves to be cognizant of this.
And since we are very aware of how much we don’t want to raise Baby MPB to be a mini Veruca Salt,we have thought of a few strategies to help encourage Baby MPB not to become overly spoiled with material goods:
- He will have an age appropriate allowance based on age appropriate activities around the house so he learns how to earn money from a young age.
- He purchase his own toys from money he saves up to learn the value of money. Again, in an age appropriate context.
- It’s important to me that he learns to help others, so we will encourage him to give some of his money to those without as much. And again, at an age appropriate time, we will volunteer as a family to help those who don’t have as much as we do.
I don’t know if our strategies will work, only time will tell.
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To all the young mothers here who are busy pro-creating and making us old folks all grandparents.
Yup, in a group of about 20 people I listened that to that toast this weekend.
Yup, I swallowed hard, my skin crawled and I kept quiet…
Until….
Another young lady who has no children said loud enough for everyone to hear “there’s no way I’m drinking to that!” And her husband said quietly to her “maybe one day you can.”
I over heard there intimate comment, so I chimed in loud enough for everyone to here. I guess I shouldn’t drink to that either, I didn’t procreate.
The individual giving the toast began trying to pull their foot out of their mouth, it was almost humorous. To me they said well, you still found a way, you have Baby MPB. To the other women they quickly said you still have lots of time, soon enough I’m sure.
.
Surprisingly, I actually felt a bit bad for the individual who made the toast. I know what they were trying to say and I believe they didn’t mean to be hurtful. So, having 2 of the 5 mom’s in the room voice how they didn’t fit was not the intention. BUT, as much as I feel for this person as they put their foot in their mouth, I also believe they should have known better – they know the details of what we went through as we continually miscarried, so they should have some insight into how hard infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss are.
But, more then anything, I felt for this women. Without having an actual conversation with her (it was not an appropriate time), I could sense something was going on. I remember how much those comments stung – I remember trying to escape to the bathroom, and the late night tears on Mr. MPB’s sholders. I remember the pressure put on us to have a baby (or 2 or 3), and the heartbreak we felt when we clearly couldn’t no matter how hard we tried. And, my heart hurt for her, knowing that she may very well be going through her own version of this very struggle.
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My Perfect Breakdown 