To all the young mothers here who are busy pro-creating and making us old folks all grandparents.
Yup, in a group of about 20 people I listened that to that toast this weekend.
Yup, I swallowed hard, my skin crawled and I kept quiet…
Another young lady who has no children said loud enough for everyone to hear “there’s no way I’m drinking to that!” And her husband said quietly to her “maybe one day you can.”
I over heard there intimate comment, so I chimed in loud enough for everyone to here. I guess I shouldn’t drink to that either, I didn’t procreate.
The individual giving the toast began trying to pull their foot out of their mouth, it was almost humorous. To me they said well, you still found a way, you have Baby MPB. To the other women they quickly said you still have lots of time, soon enough I’m sure.
Surprisingly, I actually felt a bit bad for the individual who made the toast. I know what they were trying to say and I believe they didn’t mean to be hurtful. So, having 2 of the 5 mom’s in the room voice how they didn’t fit was not the intention. BUT, as much as I feel for this person as they put their foot in their mouth, I also believe they should have known better – they know the details of what we went through as we continually miscarried, so they should have some insight into how hard infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss are.
But, more then anything, I felt for this women. Without having an actual conversation with her (it was not an appropriate time), I could sense something was going on. I remember how much those comments stung – I remember trying to escape to the bathroom, and the late night tears on Mr. MPB’s sholders. I remember the pressure put on us to have a baby (or 2 or 3), and the heartbreak we felt when we clearly couldn’t no matter how hard we tried. And, my heart hurt for her, knowing that she may very well be going through her own version of this very struggle.
If you like this post, please feel free to share and please click the follow button on the side or return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.