Once upon a time a nice little family hired a new nanny to help care for their adorable little boy. Her references checked out, she seemed like a very nice girl.  On her first day she asked lots of questions and seemed like she’d be a good fit.

20160831 - Lost KeyDuring the day she had used the spare key to the garage to take out garbage.  The mommy asked her to make sure she put the key back in it’s spot before she left for the day as the family uses the key on a regular basis.

Upon further inspection that evening, the mommy noticed the key was missing.  Texts were sent, and not answered.  A phone call was made, a message left, and also not answered.

Mommy was not happy!

Daddy thought mommy was slightly crazy and overreacting.  He thought this was a probably just an innocent (but rather stupid) mistake.  He thought the nanny would find the key and bring it back on her next day.

Mommy was not convinced and wanted to fire the nanny on the spot.  All the mommy could think about was someone coming into their house that night while everyone was sleeping and waking up to find her beloved baby gone.  The thought was all consuming and mommy was not handling the panic well as tears of fear rolled down her cheeks.  Fearing the night, the Mommy decided to sleep in the baby’s room until the key magically appeared or the house was re-keyed.  The mommy needed to be sure her little baby was safe.

Eventually, much later that evening, the new nanny did return the text.  She claimed the key must be in the garage and she’d help look for it the next day. The mommy and daddy knew the key was not in the garage, as they had searched high and low and scoured every inch of the backyard and garage multiple times already.  The key was not to be found!!

At this point Daddy begrudgingly decided to simply re-key all the locks to the house/garage.  Better be safe then sorry.  And being a smart Daddy, the Daddy realized it’s better to have a sane mommy then one consumed with fear.  So, Daddy spent the late evening figuring out how to change the locks to the house.

The next morning, after Mommy and Daddy calmed down slightly, the key was spotted underneath the couch.  The future of the new nanny’s future was discussed again.  Mommy still thought the nanny should be fired for being irresponsible.  Mommy didn’t think loosing a house key is acceptable first day nannying mistake.  Daddy decided the new nanny should be given a second chance (with Daddy working from home and supervising) because finding a decent nanny seems to be nearly impossible.

The impasse was overcome with a flip of the coin – the nanny gets a second chance.

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Adoption Expenses

A common theme in our lives for what feels like forever now has been the astronomical cost of our international adoption.  It feels as though the costs have continued to climb for reasons we cannot understand.  But, of course, this is the first time in my life that I’ve had no choice but to pay.  Truthfully, it feels a lot like blackmail….but, I digress.

A long time ago I stopped filling in the excel spreadsheet titled Adoption Costs.  We made the decision to not know the exact dollar figure.  First, they constant payments and calculating our debt was keeping us up at night. And anxiety and stomach ulcers just aren’t going to be helpful.  Second, we figured by not knowing the dollar figure we’d never be able to answer the question of how much did I cost? which is evidently a common question of adopted children.  Of course, we don’t believe our son cost us a penny, rather the process to legally bring him into our lives was the expense and it’s been worth every single penny.

But, all that said, we were forced to change our tune.  It turns out the adoption costs are required by our lawyer.  So, we were forced to resurrect that old Adoption Cost spreadsheet.  And so we spent yesterday going through bank records to calculate exactly what we’ve spent.  To the penny.

20150130 - Similarities between Recurrent Pregnancy Loss and Adoption2While I’m not going to publicize the exact number, I will say that it is in excess of 85,000 CAD (65,000 USD), which is well over double what we were originally quoted.  For perspective, note that this more MORE then the yearly median family income for the USA in 2014 (“Median household income was $53,657 in 2014” – source).  No matter how I rationalize it, this is a lot of money!!

Now that we’ve done the math it turns out the actual amount is within a few hundred dollars of what we thought from our rough mental calculations. So not counting never really happened.

And, even more interesting, once we submitted the spreadsheet to our lawyer his response was Wow!! that’s the most expensive adoption we have EVER done!!  So, ya, we now hold that record.

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