When we chose international adoption to grow our family, we were quoted $25,000 – $40,000 USD. Something we thought we could manage over a few years.
It was almost as though the second we signed on the dotted line, our costs started going up. One surprise payment after another. Eventually we were so far into it, that there was literally no turning back. And so we actually stopped counting the dollars we were spending because it was literally causing panic attacks and stomach ulcers.
And then, all of the sudden, we were matched in almost record time – a great problem to have in the world of adoption where couples can wait years upon years. Except, for us, this meant we had to find a way to pay over $65,000 USD ($85,000 CAD) + all travel expenses within approximately 1 year.
Now, we didn’t have $65, 000 USD + just sitting in the bank waiting to be spent. Unfortunately, we simply aren’t independently wealthy and we are yet to win the lottery. We chose not to fundraise because we decided that other people need financial support more then we do and we never received any help from our family or friends.
This meant that the debt was ours, and ours alone. We paid what we could in cash as the initial pre-match installments were due. Once we were matched and everything was due instantly, we used a line of credit to continue to be able to make the rest of the payments. We simply had no other choice but to go into debt.
Between Mr. MPB and I, we had begun referring to this debt as our Adoption Debt or Baby MPB Debt. Both names we hated. But the names stuck and we cringed each time we talked about it and/or dealt with payments.
And now, for over a year, we’ve been paying it off each and every month to the best of our abilities. We always make our minimum payment, and whenever we can we pay more. Asides from our mortgage, we’ve never had debt before. Needless to say, we don’t cope well with debt hanging over our heads and we desperately want to get rid of this hole. But, we also decided we didn’t want to completely compromise our lifestyle to pay off the Adoption Debt quickly – we decided not to live like hermits and give up our lifestyle comforts, we decided to both work full time with the help of a nanny (and now daycare) and we also decided not to pursue a second child in large part because we cannot bare the thought of doubling our debt.
(If only we were independently wealthy so we could have it all!)
So, when our mortgage came up for renewal a few weeks ago, we did something we never thought we’d do – we amalgamated our Adoption Debt into our mortgage. And at the same time we basically wiped away all the mortgage payments we have made on our house in an instant. We thought long and hard about this decision and in the end we did it because:
- Interest rates are so low that it made sense from a financial perspective because our mortgage interest rate is lower then the line of credit interest rate.
- Spreading the payments out over the life of our mortgage also made sense – 20 years to pay it all off.
- Removing our Adoption Debt from our lives made us both feel a sense of relief. Yes, in essence, it’s still there, but it’s not an independent monthly payment so it’s not front and centre in our lives. Every time we paid an installment or discussed our Adoption Debt, we were bitter at the sheer cost of having one child – more then the average family makes in a year, that’s insane! And, every time we paid an installment it was a reminder the treatment we received at the hands of our USA adoption agency.
- Soon enough Little MPB is going to know what we are talking about, and the last thing we ever want to mistakenly have him over hear is a discussion about our Adoption Debt/Little MPB Debt. That’s not something we ever want to burden him with – it was our choice, and even though it cost us a small fortune, we are beyond thankful for Little MPB. By amalgamating our debt, it means he will never over hear that conversation because we wont be having it anymore. Those terms are no longer part of our vocabulary.
Really, we made this decision because we ready to move on from the negativity that this Adoption Debt brought into our lives.
And so, with those 2 quick signatures we are technically Adoption Debt free. And if all goes to plan in 20 years we will be mortgage free and truly Adoption Debt free.
If you like this post, please feel free to share and please click the follow button on the side or return to myperfectbreakdown.com to follow my journey.