Some Days Just Suck
So, I was pretty sick for about 10 days. It wasn’t fun. And, I was pretty much useless when it came to taking care of Baby MPB, which meant Mr. MPB did basically all the night feedings and almost all baby things when our nanny wasn’t working. It was clearly not even close to a fair share of responsibilities, but asides from Mr. MPB being exhausted, he didn’t complain much. And honestly, that happens and that’s part of why we are married and co-parenting together. Next time he’s sick, I’ll do the same.
Now I’m feeling a bit better and am back with the world of healthy people. Which is good.
Except, well, I wasn’t a very nice wife when it came my turn to pick up the slack. You see, 1 business day a week we are nanny free – the idea being that we each spend half a day with Baby MPB – quality one-on-one time. Baby MPB and I spend the morning together (it’s our weekly swim date) and Mr. MPB and Baby MPB spend the afternoon together. Well, Mr. MPB had a last minute work thing come up and he turned to me to take care of Baby MPB in the afternoon. I got rather mad at him. I focused on what it meant t0 me – I would miss a deadline. Ya, I could probably make things work out without too much flack, but I was still mad. Mostly I was just mad that it was last minute and I wasn’t given a heads up.
So, we argued. We argued about the fact that we recently upped our nanny to 4 days a week in large part because he’s been too busy with work and I refused to give up my spin class (if I gave up spin class I would have about 6 hours a week, which would basically account for that extra nanny day). We argued because apparently I wasn’t nice. We argued because apparently I told him he needs to spend more time with Baby MPB (which, for the record I never said).
We argued, both throwing out any attempt at having a productive disagreement. And, I hate it.
Mr. MPB was rather mad at me. And when he gets mad he’s known to get very quiet and ignore me. The silence kills me, but being ignored just pisses me off.
I’ve apologized as I know I was partially in the wrong. Yet, I was ignored. Needless to say my blood is kinda boiling again.
And as I type this, this is where things stand.
I know realistically we’ll attempt to talk when Baby MPB goes to bed tonight. Yet, I also know because we both have too much on the go that we’ll also both be at our desks working. And, I also know that even with just one kid, neither of us is enjoying our current schedule of evening work. As we are in the thick of a few bad weeks of work, it feels like it’s becoming all too common of an occurrence.
Balance feels like a dream right now. And I think that is the crux of our argument today.
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Tiredness, overwork, sickness, parent guilt and stress take their toll. It is hard to have a rational argument and brush things off when things are out of balance. Usually, Ifind if my husband brings up something that I never said (like Mr MPB did about spending time with baby MPB) it is because he already feels guilty/worried about it. Marriage is hard, parenting is hard, doing both at the same time with more than full time workloads is insanity.
Hoping you find balance soon, such a hard thing to strike sometimes. Thanks for being so honest as well. It will make me feel less alone or crazy over the next 12 months as we introduce our son into our previously 2 person family.
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Parenting is hard. Our twin boys will be 5 in January and even with all my husband does, it still sometimes feels like it’s not enough. . . simply because the demands of parenting young children are so great, especially when both parents have full time jobs. (My job is so demanding of my time that it’s sometimes hard to find time for anything else.)
I hope you and your husband are able to talk things out soon.
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I feel like fights like these are inevitable when you are parenting a young child, and throw busy work schedules in there and it’s no wonder you are both feeling frustrated. Glad you are feeling better after being sick. I’m sure the emotions between you and Mr. MPB will also start feeling better as this tension dies down. Overtired and overworked – that’s a tough combination.
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Sending you a hug. I hate fighting with my husband. You both have so much going on that it is almost inevitable that there will be some tension. I hope your schedules get a little easier so you can relax a bit.
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Chris does EXACTLY the same thing when we argue so I know how you feel about that😔 I prefer to talk things through until we find resolution, he doesn’t. parenting and getting the balance right is bloody hard, I don’t know anyone who has ever got it right. The only thing I can offer you is a big hug to you all on this sucky day X
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Some days really do SUCK. I’m so sorry. There is a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere–the trick is finding it and not letting it out of your sight!
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Awww…I’m sorry you were sick and I’m sorry you guys are arguing. Tempers get short with lack of sleep and time to spend on your relationship. I feel that way every hunting season! I hope you guys are able to talk it out and get back on track soon. Big hugs your way!!!
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Don’t even get me started on hunting season! That’s also in our lives right now too!
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