Thanksgiving

This last weekend was Thanksgiving in Canada.  We realize we have many things to be thankful for this year, and so we enjoyed the long weekend even though it was marked by miserable weather and this years first snow fall.

I was thankful that we took 4 solid days off work – we needed the break!  We also had friends staying at our house for the weekend and we also drove over 8 hours over 2 days to visit with my family.  It was crazy and yet fun.

We decided to spend a night at my parents and when we arrived they gave Mr. MPB and I our very first night out without Baby MPB.  It was delightful.  But if I’m honest, it was also incredibly strange.  We talked about him all night long and we even bought him a little something while we were out!  Our first night out and both of us were obsessed with being away from our little guy, being a parent sure has changed us!

We also met our new niece at the family thanksgiving dinner.  I really wish we’d been able to meet her earlier, but our insane schedules have just not accommodated a 6 hour drive.  So rather then putting more pressure on ourselves to do yet another thing, we decided to just wait for thanksgiving when we were all going to be together anyways.  She really is the sweetest little thing.  As Mr. MPB held her, in front of a room of people I looked over at them and simply said I could have another.  Mr. MPB laughed and said, Yes who wouldn’t want a sleeping baby, too bad it’s not that easy for us. Neither of us said anything more, as we had previously made the decision not to tell our families about the possible embryo adoption at this point in time.

I have to admit what I loved about his response is just how right he is – having another child will be hard for us, even in light of the embryo adoption.  He spoke the truth and he wasn’t afraid to acknowledge it in front of a room full of people.  I appreciate that we are both now able to have that conversation and that we don’t hide our infertility, it’s liberating in so many ways.

That said, we have chosen not to discuss the amazing embryo adoption opportunity with any of our family just yet.  We don’t really want opinions of people who don’t understand to influence our decision and we don’t want people to get their hopes up that we’ll have a second child. We just don’t need that pressure.  If we chiose to proceed we do plan to tell our families at an appropriate time.  

But, I will admit that the added bonus of our 8 hours of driving is that we did have a lot of time to discuss the possibility.  We talked every comment I’ve received on my blog so far, we discussed things we still don’t understand and need to learn more about (i.e. Canadian laws), we talked about when we’d want to try for another (if we decide to), we discussed the chances of success and even the potential costs of all of this.  We also discussed gestational carrier vs. my uterus.  Honestly, 8 hours in a car is a long time.  So when we were singing the wheels on the bus we had lots of time to talk! And somewhat surprisingly we are pretty in-line with each other on most things.  So, while we haven’t made a final decision I think it’s safe to say we have definitely progressed in our thinking from this time a week ago.  I’ll be sure to share more in the coming days/weeks as we work through all of this.

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10 Comments on “Thanksgiving

  1. Glad you had a nice weekend off of work, and a fun Thanksgiving! It’s great that you guys already agree on a lot of aspects of this decision, especially since it’s such a big one. I hope you continue to agree on things as you learn more about the aspects you’re unsure of, and are able to talk through and come to a mutual decision on others.
    On another note…I feel like whenever B and I get our first opportunity to have a night out without the baby, we will be the same way! No idea when that will happen exactly, but I’m sure it will eventually lol!

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  2. It sounds like you had a great Holiday weekend and I’m glad you were able to get some time to recharge. You guys have so much to discuss and figure out and I can’t wait to hear more about what you learn and decide. Having never done IVF or even looked into gestational carriers, I’m absolutely no help on this whatsoever. Sending you lots of love and apologizing for being A-wall lately…I’m putting that box of bottles to great use though!!! πŸ™‚ Finally!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s so nice to know you and your husband are on the same page with everything, even if a decision isn’t made. My husband and I are the same way. Keeping you in my daily thoughts about your embryo decision!

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  4. I’m so glad you had a great weekend, complete with a night out together sans baby. We find that we miss the kids too when we have time away from them, and that long car rides are really the only time we have to talk things out because babies are safely buckled in and hopefully sleeping. I agree that it makes sense to keep the embryo adoption on the DL for now, especially since you both haven’t fully worked out how you feel about all aspects of it yet. I’m also wondering- how did you get baby MPB to survive a long drive like that? Mine only last for about 1.5 hours max!! I need to know your secret!!

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    • We don’t get Baby MPB to survive it! This time we broke up the drive onto 2 days.
      Day 1 we went 1.5 hours during nap time. Then we stopped for a few hours so he could burn energy. Then we hoped he’d fall asleep again. He didn’t. So we sang the wheels on the bus for the rest of the drive to keep him from screaming.
      Day 2 we left at his bedtime and drove in the dark. He slept the entire way home and I doubt we’ll ever drive during the day again!!!

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  5. Happy Thanksgiving πŸ™‚ So awesome you got to go out for a baby free date. It does feel weird, I agree! But it is wonderful at the same time. Sounds like a fabulous weekend πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m so glad you guys got a night away. That is so important! It’s really hard to do, though, when they’re so young. You’ll get over that though. Ha! Every time our kids drive us nuts on the weekend, one of us says, “I’m going to find us a sitter STAT!”. I have a sister duo coming Friday!!!!

    I love long drives with Brian! It’s so nice to talk, uninterrupted (kids asleep or watching a movie).

    Happy Thanksgiving!

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  7. So glad you guys had a nice night together! And it’s great you are talking so thoroughly about your donor embryo situation. I envision an excel list with pros/cons soon! πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I think it’s great you can talk opening about your infertility in front of family and relations now, I haven’t gotten to that stage and not sure if we will but it would be nice for it not to be this big secret (and shame). I also think you’re right not to tell people about the embyo possibilities until you know more and are further along with planning. Looking forward to hearing what you decide to do!

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