Decision Made

We spent the last few days weighing the pros and con’s of attending our son’s adoption finalization in person.

We spoke with our lawyer to get his opinion.  He said we have already paid a $1000 USD court fee to submit the application to waive the requirement of us attending in person – this is non-refundable, of course.  We also went over the process of actually attending – apparently we will hang out in a waiting room at family court and wait until we are called to stand before the judge for 10 minutes and maybe take a photo.  He indicated that the family court waiting room is not often a happy place to spend a day as the majority of the people waiting are not waiting for a happy adoption circumstance like ours.  He definitely did not see the point on us attending, but indicated that we are welcome to attend.

At the same time I’ve also been figuring out the USA Social Insurance process – since we are Canadian this is completely new to us.  My research so far says we have to be physically be in the USA to apply for it (I haven’t found a loop hole yet that lets us apply via mail and get our original documents back – having our original documents is a basic necessity in our opinion).  And we need to apply once we get Baby MPB’s Amended Birth Certificate which will take an additional 6ish months after the adoption finalization.  (Evidently you can apply using the original birth certificate, but depending on the person who reviews the application they may not accept it.  So, we might as well wait until we have the amended birth certificate to apply as it’s not a rush for us).  So all of this means we will have to go visit somewhere in the USA with a Social Security office within the next year or so.

In the end we’ve decided not to attend.  Basically, while a long weekend in warmth would be nice, adding more into our insane schedule just isn’t a good idea.  And honestly, after our last attempt at a weekend away, nothing about international travel excites either Mr. MPB or myself.  Also, we’d really rather save our flight points to visit Baby MPB’s birth mother and sibling – we want Baby MPB to know this part of his family and in the scheme of life that’s way more important to us.

And so, we’ve decided to take the day of the finalization off work to spend the day as a family.  I have no idea what we will do, but I’m sure it will be fun!!

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29 Comments on “Decision Made

  1. Glad you’ve made a decision that you’re happy with. And as someone with a son just a couple of months younger than Baby MPB, I can’t imagine much that would be fun about a weekend of international travel right now! Spending the day together at home as a family sounds pretty great to me, and I hope you have a wonderful day with much to celebrate!

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  2. That sounds like a sound decision. I’m kind of relieved you’re not going, actually, because being in court all day, or even just a few hours, can be pretty stressful. Definitely better to spend it with your family somewhere pleasant. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think that’s exactly what our lawyer was trying to convey – many people find the court wait to be stressful and not enjoyable. I really think just spending the day together will be the best way possible to celebrate. πŸ™‚

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  3. We had an adoption signing on December 18th. The court part was anticlimactic, but afterwards we went to the grandparents house and had treats and decorated the holiday tree. That is the part the kiddo remembers, and the part that I hold dear ❀ It sounds like you made the right choice for your family, and I'm so glad to hear you have a date, that's such a load off!

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    • Thanks for sharing your story! I like the idea of celebrating with more family. Maybe since we are staying close to home we could do something like that. And yes, just having the date is really nice! I’m excited to have this stage behind us. πŸ™‚

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  4. Maybe it is different for me because I am also American, but I was able to get Evelyn’s social security number and card without going to the USA in person. Email me if you’re curious about details!

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  5. Great idea to take the day off to celebrate as a family. I’m trying to convince my wife to take the day off when we get the second-parent adoption finalized. She just wants to do it in the morning and go in to work late, but it seems to me like an important family milestone to be celebrated! Enjoy revelling in the joy that is a completed adoption process! Yay for your happy family!

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    • I’m with you on it being an important family milestone worthy of a celebration! I know it’s not something we will mark every year, but I think the day it happens is absolutely a special day. I hope you convince your wife to take the day off and celebrate together. πŸ™‚

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  6. Have you checked to see if you can be present via phone? I think you are making a good decision based on the cost. The hearing is short, and for what it means to you, very UNDERwhelming. But, maybe you could be phone conference in to hear the judge make it official?

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  7. Good decision. I really feel for you in this whole battle with bureaucracy. I am going through a similarly convoluted process to get my adopted daughters’ US citizenship certified. It requires applications, fees, consultations, more fees, interviews, more fees and two trips to the States – all this not to attain citizenship, but only to verify that they already have it. My advice: make your adoption anniversary the date when you first held your son in your arms. Celebrate that every year.

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  8. Perfect decision!! Have fun celebrating being a family πŸ™‚

    Whenever you do come back to the states maybe you could try to come to Colorado (even if it’s just the airport)!!

    Liked by 1 person

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