I have never in my life been this tired. And it’s only partially because of Baby MPB.
Clearly Baby MPB needs some middle of the night attention from time to time. I honestly hate to complain about this because he’s actually an amazing sleeper. But, the last few weeks he’s been stirring around 3am and 4am, which is not normal. And it seems that it’s my responsibility to get up with him then and then again around 5:30 when he gets up for the day.
To complicate things the last few nights evidently our dog has decided she needs outside multiple times during the night because her tummy is bugging her.
So between our dog and our child I’m up at least once an hour every hour from 2am on. Which is not good for this girl who loves sleep and needs sleep.
Mr. MPB apparently can sleep through anything and deems the 3am and 4am wake up my responsibility as part of the morning shift. (I always done the morning “shift” and Mr. MPB does the midnight shift). Either way, he’s not getting up until his day starts at 7 or 8am (or until I say something usually not particularly friendly in an exhausted stupor when I’m getting up). But, no matter how you look at it, this middle of the night stuff has all been on my shoulders for a few weeks now.
Combine this with my work demands and caring for an infant during the day, the end result is that I’m loosing my mind one sleepless night at a time.
Today our nanny was here and I was so tired I actually stopped working (I wasn’t able to focus anyways) and had a 2 hour nap! It was glorious. But now I’m worried I have screwed up my early bedtime and tonight is going to be a complete wreck. And I’m now behind on a project. Definitely not ideal on all fronts.
I am thrilled to get to be exhausted because I’m just so fortunate to be a mommy, but right now I am also just really tired.
I am so tired in fact that the other day rather then worrying about my upcoming first night away from Baby MPB I declared that I’m excited for my surgery because I’ll be staying in the hospital over night and I’ll sleep better then I have in weeks. To which my friend reminded me that I’m going to be hooked up to a tonne of machines and have nurses checking on me all night long so it probably wont be that peaceful. But in my mind right now it almost feels like a small, desperately needed reprieve from my sleepless nights.
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