Tired

I have never in my life been this tired.  And it’s only partially because of Baby MPB.

Clearly Baby MPB needs some middle of the night attention from time to time.  I honestly hate to complain about this because he’s actually an amazing sleeper.  But, the last few weeks he’s been stirring around 3am and 4am, which is not normal.  And it seems that it’s my responsibility to get up with him then and then again around 5:30 when he gets up for the day.

To complicate things the last few nights evidently our dog has decided she needs outside multiple times during the night because her tummy is bugging her.

So between our dog and our child I’m up at least once an hour every hour from 2am on.  Which is not good for this girl who loves sleep and needs sleep.

Mr. MPB apparently can sleep through anything and deems the 3am and 4am wake up my responsibility as part of the morning shift.  (I always done the morning “shift” and Mr. MPB does the midnight shift).  Either way, he’s not getting up until his day starts at 7 or 8am (or until I say something usually not particularly friendly in an exhausted stupor when I’m getting up).  But, no matter how you look at it, this middle of the night stuff has all been on my shoulders for a few weeks now.

Combine this with my work demands and caring for an infant during the day, the end result is that I’m loosing my mind one sleepless night at a time.

Today our nanny was here and I was so tired I actually stopped working (I wasn’t able to focus anyways) and had a 2 hour nap!  It was glorious.  But now I’m worried I have screwed up my early bedtime and tonight is going to be a complete wreck.  And I’m now behind on a project.  Definitely not ideal on all fronts.

I am thrilled to get to be exhausted because I’m just so fortunate to be a mommy, but right now I am also just really tired.

I am so tired in fact that the other day rather then worrying about my upcoming first night away from Baby MPB I declared that I’m excited for my surgery because I’ll be staying in the hospital over night and I’ll sleep better then I have in weeks.  To which my friend reminded me that I’m going to be hooked up to a tonne of machines and have nurses checking on me all night long so it probably wont be that peaceful.  But in my mind right now it almost feels like a small, desperately needed reprieve from my sleepless nights.

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22 Comments on “Tired

  1. You could consider suggesting to Mr. MPB that he needs to start practicing now every other night for the morning shift when you will be in hospital.

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  2. Ugh, I hear you on the tiredness. I feel like Soren gets to be a worse sleeper as he gets older (a friend with 3 kids warned me that this might happen!). He used to reliably give us a 6-9 hour stretch each night, and now the longest stretch is usually 3 hours — and like you, I’ll be up at 4:30, 5:30, 6:30am… I have no idea how you do this and work (but I guess I’ll find out, since I’m starting work again next week!). But since you’re bottle-feeding, it sounds like Mr. MPB could be doing more of the middle-of-the-night stuff… can you have a conversation about it and try to re-balance the load a little? With both of you working and both of you able to feed Baby MPB, it doesn’t seem fair that he gets an 8-hour stretch at a normal time of night and you don’t!

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  3. Aw Hon, I’m sorry! Being tired just sucks and when it’s for multiple nights/weeks (even for the best reason ever), it still gets to a sucking point! I’m surprised you have to stay over night. Mine is a day surgery as long as there’s no complications (please no complications!!!). 🙂

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  4. You’re way nicer than me…I’d be telling B that he has to get up as well, not just letting him sleep away while I was up all night long!! Or tell him that he can get up with the dog, and you’ll get up with the baby. Either way, you’re BOTH pet and baby parents, it should be on BOTH of you to get up and take care of them even if you really want to sleep. Or switch off every other night or something like that. Better yet, I hope that the dog feels better soon and baby starts sleeping later like he used to, and then everyone can get some much-needed sleep!!

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  5. I feel you on this! We have a similar set up and similar struggles from time to time. This last week has been pretty rough for us as E is going through a bit of a sleep regression and hubby has taken on a new client with a rather big project. Wishing you better luck these next few nights so you can recharge. I hate to say this, but I think your friend is right about your hospital stay not being quite as restful as you imagine. My post-cesarean stay was exhausting from all of the different medical professionals on constant rotation through my room all hours of day and night. I think you should put in a special request with Mr. MBP and see what he can do to offer some relief. If he’s been getting quality rest, it would benefit him to bail you out somehow so you are able to bring your A game to help with baby MBP.

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  6. Maybe suggest that one of you take the weekend morning shift, and the other during the week? This arrangement works well for my friend.

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  7. Thinking of you! I am the same way with my sleep…every day I am thinking about it and cherishing it as I know the late night feedings (along with the daytime responsibilities) are going to be my responsibility if I can breast feed successfully! I can imagine feeling like you want a rest so badly that surgery sounds like a good idea! Maybe Mr. MBP can give you at least a night or two of reprieve so you can sleep the whole night? You guys have a great relationship – I am sure you will work it out soon! Xo

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  8. Yeah I understand the needing sleep thing…I love sleeping. Hopefully this is just a phase and Baby MPB will go back to sleeping amazingly! And I think your friend is right about you being bothered all night in the hospital…that’s the biggest complaint we get from our patients (I’m a nurse). You can always request they don’t bug you unless you call which they should respect as long as you are stable.

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  9. Lack of sleep always makes me a little crazy. I had a cousin suggest that I take baby duty for 1 or 2 nights, then my partner take the next 1 or 2 nights. It’s amazing to know that you get an entire night of sleep! And somehow it makes it easier to get up all night when you’re already resolved to do it…. it’s way worse when I’m thinking I could be sleeping and my partner should be taking a turn. Just a thought!

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  10. Oh man MPB, I’m sorry! Could Baby MPB be easing his way into the 4 month sleep regression? Either way, the lack of sleep sucks when you know your SO is snoozing away while you try to appease the tiny boss.

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  11. Sleep deprivation is so tough. I can count the number of four hour blocks I’ve had since F was born on one hand… sigh. It makes the difference between being able to cope with a smile and feeling like the world is just overwhelming. So glad you had a daytime nap – they saved me in the beginning months! I hope baby MBP settles down soon. X

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  12. Sleep deprivation is so hard to cope with. Especially on top of all you’re doing! I hope that things get better. It is sooooo very hard!

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  13. How old is he now? Check out the wonder weeks (book or just online). It suggests that babies need more attention (and often wake more at night) when they are hitting a developmental milestone. My daughter followed the pattern almost perfectly, and sure enough would make those leaps. My son is following it as well.

    It doesn’t give you more sleep to be aware, but it sure helped/helps me mentally! One, because I know why my baby needs me and how I can help. Two, because I know it will end and isn’t the new normal 🙂

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    • My pediatrician also notes that it’s normal for babies to wake during the night, and sometimes it’s good to let them put themselves back to sleep. I’m the heavy sleeper in my relationship, and one week my husband went on a job and my daughter started sleeping through the night. He came back and she was suddenly waking up again. Soon I realized he was popping up and grabbing her as soon she let out a little cry (which I often didn’t even wake up to). Once I made him wait just a couple of minutes she would go back to sleep on her own.

      I hope you get some rest soon! Sleep deprivation isn’t fun, and definitely puts strain on a couple! I know this all too well haha.

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  14. Oh man, exhaustion is terrible. And the worst part is however seriously exhausted you feel/are, it can get worse! Each time I thought ‘this is the absolute worst!!’ Life would throw me a curse ball to keep me humble I guess hahaha. And Although you may feel behind with your work now that you napped, it was necessary. Don’t feel bad and try not to sweat it too much.
    I thought I would have tried to enforce more of a 50/50 split with the sleeplessness with the Viking but maybe partly because I strictly nursed, it quickly became evident that as the mom, I just get up more. It sucks sometimes for sure. We both work long days and have big careers. And on days that I have big meetings or extra important things going on, then I communicate that he’s on deck that night b/c I need extra sleep. But I’ve just adapted to functioning off less sleep then the Viking. Hopefully you’re able to catch some more naps soon though! If sleep at night isn’t going to be in long stretches right now, maybe a nap at some point during the day can help you.

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  15. We took some sleep experts’ advice and started ticking the clock back earlier and earlier on Amora’s bedtime these past few weeks. Kevin was skeptical but it is working SO WELL. We do her bath, get a bottle, and read a story or two and have her in bed by 7-8 every night and she is sleeping better than ever. Before she was sleeping in 5-6 hour stretches, sometimes 7-8. Now she sleeps a full 8 hours in the crib (one long stretch, every night) and then another 3-4 in bed with me before we start the day. And it’s given us some mommy and daddy time in the evening. It’s been a game changer, just sharing what’s been working for us! Amora has always been a pretty solid sleeper too.

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  16. Ah yes, babies often go through sleep regressions and sleep deprivation and parenting is a cumulative killer! With you needing to focus for work as well, it’s tough! Hope the baby sleep picks up again soon. 🙂

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