We are on our way.

I don’t think either one of us slept last night.  We tried, but the combination of excitement, fear and good old fashioned nerves made it a lost cause.

We were up early to shower, get dressed, lock up the house and head to the airport.  The airline recommends 2 hours before take off for international flights.  Mr. MPB required 3, because you just don’t want to miss the flight that will unite you with your child!

Today’s itinerary involves a long flight, and even more driving.  Possibly stopping somewhere to buy some baby stuff on our drive.  We have a bunch of stuff with us, but we still need a USA car seat, diapers, wipes, etc. (mostly just stuff that just didn’t make sense to fly with us).  And at some point we will probably find ourselves a hotel somewhere along the drive in an attempt to sleep.

Tomorrow we plan to meet our potential birth mother.  I can not lie, I’m nervous about meeting her.  We’ve been texting for a while now, but meeting in person is rather intimidating!  It’s another one of those situations where I wish I had a manual.  Just like the first phone call I am wondering:

• How do we introduce ourselves, do we hug?
• How do we even start to thank her for just thinking we are worthy and choosing us?
• How do we know what to even talk about?

The only new question I’m facing is, what do I wear?  She has seen us in our profile book, but still, first impressions matter and my outfit choice clearly matters!  (Yes, I can be vain and now I’m limited by what I have in my suitcase).

I am nervous, yet my heart is so very hopeful.

Now that we are through the big scare of last week, I’ve surprisingly relaxed.  I truly think she’s not going to change her mind.  My level of confidence is almost weird and definitely should be considered somewhat odd and scary.  She has the right to change her mind, I absolutely respect that, I just don’t expect her to.  In my heart, I think this baby is our son and we will come home together as a family of 3 and 1 dog.

Yet, I’ve noticed for the last few days that I have been sitting on the verge of tears. I seem to be ultra emotional, which I think is probably normal for most first time mom’s.  So I’m working to just take it moment to moment because the reality is that for the next few weeks we have absolutely no control of our lives.  We have a one way flight booked and a car booked.  We still have not booked any hotels.  And we have no connecting flight in case we have to fly between states.  And of course, we have no idea when we will get to go home.

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