So, I got an email that lead my heart to skip a beat and almost literally jump out of my chest.
Not many things cause me such a reaction.
This email caught my eye immediately as it was from someone at one of our adoption agencies that I’ve never heard of before. The subject line consisted of one simple word – Adoption.
Honestly, I had a lump in my throat seeing the email on my screen.
And then, I swept into action as I scrambled to open an email quicker then I ever have before (which is almost comical as I had my cell phone, my tablet and my computer all within a few inches of me when I saw the email notification flash on my screen, and I had this awkward moment of not knowing which devise would be the quickest to open and read).
My brain was racing quicker then my little fingers could move. I had thoughts of an immediate placement and a baby waiting for us, a scramble to meet with doctors and review reports, a chaotic rush to book flights and meet our baby. The image of our child entered my mind (which interestingly is the first time I’ve had a real picture of our actual baby in my mind as its a bit hard to picture a child whose genetics you don’t know anything about).
My mind was racing a million miles a second.
Hoping for a match.
Hoping for a placement.
Hoping for our child.
While my mind raced in a moment of unlimited possibilities, my eyes scanned the email.
As I read, my mind began to digest the fact that there was no news of a match or an imminent placement.
My heart sank. It was as if I could the lump in my throat dissolve the further I read.
The email, actually had nothing to do with us. It was simply providing an annual update from the agency regarding all their current activities.
Today was not our day.
In the end, in a matter of mere second, this innocent email that got my hopes higher then they ever have been and brought me crashing back down just as quickly.
And now I am sitting here thinking about how hard the wait really is. I feel as though with each passing week I am getting more and more restless.
In the end, this email was simply a reminder of how brutal the adoption wait can be.
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