Lifting Myself Back Up
I feel like I’ve been in a funk lately. The adoption wait has been on my nerves and work has me burning the midnight oil. It’s a frustrating combination. And, yet part of me is grateful for it, because the insane work schedule keeps my mind active, and gives me a lot less time to contemplate life and the waiting.
And so today I plan to do something different then normal. I’ve done it once before, months ago, and I thought the exercise might be really helpful to do again to help resent my current thought processes. I am giving myself 10 minutes to write down everything I can think of to be grateful for:
- Our dog. Seriously, I just love her.
- My stomach ulcer is under control. So long as I remember the drugs, I seem to be back to normal which is a good sign that I’m healing.
- I have a referral in to the plastic surgeon for a breast reduction. (I hear the wait times are about a year).
- While I don’t love winter, I do love the fact that my fall wardrobe is coming back out. If nothing else, warm scarfs and cute boots are going to make me smile.
- Less money stress. My crazy work schedule is helping reduce the crazy adoption bills, and that’s a real bonus.
- We booked a last minute weekend trip away. We got a great deal and we need a break, so I booked it. Guilty conscious be damned.
- I broke my cell phone. If no-one can perform cell phone surgery to resuscitate it, then I will have no choice but to get a new one. Who doesn’t love a new cell phone? (I’m finding the best case scenario in this, I’m actually not happy about it).
- I wore a special necklace today.
- I lost an earring yesterday from a set that I love. But, I know where I bought it and the designer seems pretty awesome so I hope he will be able to replace just the one. And if not, they were pretty cheap so I can just buy a new pair. Thankfully.
- My dog is staring at me right now and that makes me smile. Seriously, she’s adorable.
- It’s Thursday. That means I only have one more day to get through before I can try to relax for a few days.
- I am so tired right now that I am almost guaranteed to sleep well tonight.
- Mr. MPB. I’m always thankful he chose me.
So, my 10 minutes are up. And I have to say, I feel like this exercise in finding positives really didn’t work that well for me this time. Last time, I came up with 25 items and this time I struggled to come up with 13, and two of them are about our dog. And at 2, 4, 7, 9, 10 and 11 are all about finding best case scenarios in less then ideal situations. I like that I can see the good in some crappy stuff, and I also like that my crappy stuff has nothing to do with miscarriage or lost. In fact, it’s almost an accomplishment in and of itself that this list has nothing to do with children – loosing them or waiting for them. So, while life isn’t perfect right now, at least it’s better then it has been and I’m still trying to win the war and find happiness. And today, this will be enough for me.
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