Based solely on what happened in the last 24 hours, I have determined that I am no longer my old self:

1. 1am argument between Mr. MPB and I that resulted in me on the couch with epic tears rolling down my cheeks and landing on Baby MPB. Another rediculous sleep deprived argument, literally over being sleep deprived.
2. Me awake most of the night with Baby MPB.
3. Siting at my desk at 5:45am sending a work email that I was supposed to send the day before.
4. Leave the house at 6am for a day of meeting a few hours away.
5. Arrive at Starbucks, a necessary stop at this point as I needed fuel to stay awake for the drive.  Realize upon trying to pay that my wallet was not in my purse. I was completely embarrassed, but I managed to avoid panic as I quickly determine it was at home in the diaper bag.  (Starbucks was awesome and gave me my drink and breakfast sandwich free, I almost cried).
6. Drive the remainder of the way at the exact speed limit, which means I might be late.  But, I really don’t need a ticket on a day that I don’t have my license with me.
7. Arrive at first meeting to realize my tablet is dead.  I did not bring hard copy backups.
8. Arrive at second meeting to realize I am dead tired and am not really sure what I’m supposed to be talking about.
9. Start my drive home (at the exact speed limit again) and realize without my wallet, I don’t have the ability to put gas in my car or get lunch.  Start driving and hope for the best. (I did, just barely, manage to get home).
10. While Mr. MpB takes care of baby MPB, my body takes an late afternoon 2 hour nap, even though I had work to get done.
11. Eat dinner – chinese food take-out. which means I now feel gross.
12. 9pm start working again while Mr. MPB feeds Baby MPB.  And instead of working, I wrote this.  So, now I have to actually start working.

I never in my life thought I could have so many things go wrong in one day.  I’ve never been so unprepared for meetings.  I felt like a fool, yet with sheer luck I survived the day.

I thought baby brain was something I would avoid since I didn’t go through the hormonal changes associated with pregnancy.  Well, based on the last 24 hours, I’m starting to think that baby brain is actually the same as an utterly exhausted brain.

I also think no-matter how hard Mr. MPB and I try to work out our differences in our normal way (i.e. civil talking while sharing differing perspectives respectfully), this is hard to do while completely exhausted.  Truthfully, it’s hard to do much correctly without sleep.

And this working with an infant thing is so hard!  Seriously, it’s the hardest thing I have ever attempted to do in my life.

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