Some days just don’t go as planned.  Sometimes multiple days just don’t go as planned. Right now I think we are coming through a stretch of those unexpected days.

First – daycare transition day 1.  It went pretty well.  I told the ladies in the room that my goal was to not have Baby MPB at my side the whole time.  And well, in 3 hours he only came over to see me 2 times!  And he only cried once, when another little one accidently sat on his head – I’d cry too in that circumstance.  So, we all deemed daycare trial day 1 a success and we are going to try a full day without me next.  But while loading Baby MPB and all his stuff into the car, I slammed my finger in the car door.  I am now going to be down 1 finger nail, and it still hurts.  For the record, I’m not a fan of pain.

Second – a family trip to the children’s hospital.  While Baby MPB was playing in the bathroom during an adult bathroom visit, Baby MPB managed to break open my hairdryer.  At which time we learned it was held together by tiny industrial strength magnets!!!! The design of the stupid thing indicated there should be 4 magnets, no matter where we searched we could only find 3.  Needless to say we called poison control and were sent to the Emergency Room at the Children’s Hospital for x-rays.  None of the professionals were terribly panicked because evidently swallowing 2 magnets is super dangerous, swallowing 1 magnet is just bad.  So we were anticipating x-rays to confirm if he did swallow 1, and if he did it would be observations until it passed through him, unless it became lodged somewhere in which case he’d need surgery.  2 hours later, super wonderful nurses and doctors were able to confirm that Baby MPB DID NOT swallow the missing magnet.  Baby MPB was basically immobilized for the x-rays and he handled it really well.  The x-ray technician was very efficient, and Baby MPB didn’t cry at all.  But, I will admit that it was very hard seeing my little boy immobilized on an x-ray bed, thankfully we knew he wasn’t seriously hurt and it was precautionary. Needless to say the magnet is still missing.  The hairdryer and remaining 3 magnets are long gone in the hospital trash can.

But I’ll admit seeing Baby MPB lying there, my mind went straight back to the day my mom and sister were killed in a car accident and my dad and brother seriously hurt.  My brother was immobilized for hours upon hours due to expected back/neck/head trauma. I don’t think I’ll ever forget seeing my brother that day and listening to him talk to the nurses and me but not remembering anything (he made a full recovery).  And, seeing my Dad in a hospital bed with cuts and broken bones telling me that my mom and sister died.  Truthfully they are visons I try not to think about because it’s just too hard to let my mind go back to that day.  The things I saw that day are literally the things of nightmares, except for me they were real life.  But, seeing Baby MPB immobilized on an x-ray table put me right back in the moment but this time I couldn’t help but see my little boy being hurt.  I literally had to keep reminding myself that he’s okay and this isn’t life altering or life ending.  Parenting fears are real, and I all I can do is just hope I never, ever see my little boy seriously hurt (or worse).

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