The Struggle Is Real

After recently reading a good friends honest truth, I decided I need to share mine.

I’m struggling.

I’m not seeing happiness in things I normally do.  I’m not enjoying the simple things in life.  I’m not feeling, the way I normally do.

Now, I’m not saying my life is horrible, I know it’s now.  But, I’m just not feeling ‘right.’

I’m exhausted.  I’m not at all physically active these days, and have basically no desire to even try.

I am obviously struggling with our dog.  I never thought I could feel about a dog the way I currently feel about Doodle MPB.

I know, I work too much.  I truly know this, but I also cannot seem to say no to more work.

I have no time for me.  Friends?  Me time?  Self-care?  What are those things?

I’m emotionally drained, which I guess is probably pretty normal after the visit we had a few weeks ago.  But, it’s still hard.

I feel like I’m not a good enough mom, wife, employee or person.

Life is hard sometimes.

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Blogging Friendship

Taking a break from all my recent adoption focused thoughts, I want to talk about one great thing that happened on our visit with Little MPB’s birth-mom.  And, it had nothing to do with adoption.  Instead, it had to do blogging and friends.

I attempted to meet up with two bloggers who lived in the area we were visiting.  Unfortunately the stars didn’t align perfectly so one of visits didn’t work out.  But, I am beyond thankful that I was able to meet with an amazing blogger, someone who has become a truly amazing real-life friend over the last few years.  Someone I wish lived closer to me so we could actually go out for coffee and have super adorable toddler play-dates.

She packed up her entire family and drove across state lines just to meet with my family and I.  Of course, due to the unpredictable nature of our reason for visiting the area, we were late.  I despise being late, but I am just so thankful we were able to meet.  We met at an apple orchard in the rain, just so that I could experience visiting an apple orchard with Little MPB for the first time (we don’t have apple orchards where I live, and thanks to all the adorable Instagram apple orchard toddler photos, I have really wanted to go to one with Little MPB, maybe next time I’ll get a sunshiny day so I can have the idealistic photo too).

Anyways, I have to say, when we first met, we instantly hugged and it felt like I was hugging a long lost friend for the first time in years.  I felt as though I’ve known her my entire life.  And meeting her kids, was like seeing these little adorable people rise out of my computer screen and come to life.  It was absolutely magical (even though I was beyond grouchy from not sleeping at all the night before).

Honestly, as with anyone who read this, she knows more about me then almost anyone I know in real-life.  We also share in our infertility struggles, and we also both grew our families through adoption.  This shared struggle seemed to give us an instant bond.  But this shared understanding and instant bond aside, she is simply just an amazing women – a true friend and clearly an amazing mother.

She is someone that I am grateful to be able to call a friend, and I will always treasure our afternoon together.  I am already looking forward to our next trip so we can visit in-person again!

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