The Struggle Is Real

After recently reading a good friends honest truth, I decided I need to share mine.

I’m struggling.

I’m not seeing happiness in things I normally do.  I’m not enjoying the simple things in life.  I’m not feeling, the way I normally do.

Now, I’m not saying my life is horrible, I know it’s now.  But, I’m just not feeling ‘right.’

I’m exhausted.  I’m not at all physically active these days, and have basically no desire to even try.

I am obviously struggling with our dog.  I never thought I could feel about a dog the way I currently feel about Doodle MPB.

I know, I work too much.  I truly know this, but I also cannot seem to say no to more work.

I have no time for me.  Friends?  Me time?  Self-care?  What are those things?

I’m emotionally drained, which I guess is probably pretty normal after the visit we had a few weeks ago.  But, it’s still hard.

I feel like I’m not a good enough mom, wife, employee or person.

Life is hard sometimes.

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23 Comments on “The Struggle Is Real

  1. It is so real girl. And it is so hard. It is all just temporary. These things won’t all last forever. But I know they feel like they will.

    Thinking of you.

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  2. Disclaimer: I am not an animal person at all.

    Can you please seriously look into rehoming your dog. She doesn’t seem to be a good fit for your family and it makes me sad to see how miserable she s making you. You literally tried everything to make it work. Can you look for a new home for her with lots of space and doggie company? I think your family and doodle mpb will be much much happier.

    And life is tough with a toddler when you work from home. I do the same and I feel sad and shut in often. Can you make plans to meet friends?

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    • She is working on finding a new home for her dog. She wrote it in a couple posts back 🙂

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      • I thought she said she was thinking about it but wanted to try treating doodle a bit longer. It just breaks my heart to see how miserable doodle is making her.

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  3. Do you think you are dealing with some depression? I know it’s winter there now and you probably aren’t getting enough sunlight. I’m not at all trying to downplay all the tough things you are going through right now. I just know, as some who deals with SAD every winter, I personally tend to feel completely overwhelmed by the things I can handle at other points of the year. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help!! Sending a big hug your way. 🤗

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  4. Sending hugs. Life with little ones is so hard, and you’ve had a lot of big and draining things going on lately (Doodle MPB, birth mother visit). Only you know how far outside the range of normal these feelings are for you — if they’re getting pretty far, then I heartily encourage you to make the time for an appointment with a therapist. I know it’s hard to make the time when you’re already overwhelmed, but even just having a sounding board for someone who can help you evaluate how normal your feelings are and giving you some feedback and ideas can be so, so valuable. You are doing an amazing job with everything on your plate. Hang in there.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I will tell you honestly that I felt the same way the majority of the time until my twin sons were at least 4. Now that my sons are older (will be in 7 in January), I only feel this way occasionally.

    Being a full-time working mother of a young child is hard! And you are dealing with a lot, with a challenging dog and (I’m sure) some complicated emotions around your child’s birth mother, in addition to a demanding full-time (plus) job and a toddler.

    You didn’t ask for advice, so I will end my comment by saying you are definitely not alone in feeling this way.

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  6. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I have something you can keep in mind that’ll make you feel better. The face that you’re being this hard on yourself and writing about is shows how much you care and strive to do your best. Most people think they’re enough but your writing proves you can and want to do better and that already shows you’re doing enough. Keep your head up!
    Well deserved follow!
    I recently published a motivational post on my blog, could you check it out and like and follow if you enjoyed it. I’d highly appreciate it 🙂
    https://mzukowskiblog.wordpress.com/2018/10/23/stop-thinking-what-will-happen-start-thinking-what-wont-happen/
    Also, I’m starting a FaceBook page soon for my blog and I’d love to invite you, do you use FaceBook?
    Keep inspiring!

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  7. I’m right there with ya, friend! Mostly with my job. I have 2 super hard kids (same family) and it’s leaving me with no energy and patience for the girls at night but I also know we need the money and they’re only here til Christmas. It makes me with once again I could just be home with the girls and no other kids though. Hope you start feeling like yourself soon! Hugs and lots of love!!!

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  8. It is hard – and you’ve had a lot of extra-draining situations lately. Just know you’re in my thoughts and I hope things come around soon.

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  9. Life IS hard sometimes. I have to say starting the medication last week has been helpful already. I even went to the gym which was astounding! My brothers always says “everything is a phase, even the good bits”. I’m always here if you need to talk x

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  10. I liked this because I’ve been there. Like so much, have I been there. My therapist in the last two sessions specifically asked me what I can take off my plate, and I just look at her blankly like, “nothing, I can’t take anything off”.
    Also, I keep trying to find the right encouraging words about Doodle. But I dont know what to say. Honestly, I think you are doing the right thing, and the fact you are struggling with it only means that you care. Giving her another home that is a better fit for her may be the best way to love her.

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  11. Parenting is hard. Work is hard. Sometimes the two combined is energy sapping and the long fingers of anxiety and depression begin to appear. On top of that we have the US election cycle, international news, and the aftermath of the discussion about sexual assault. No matter which way you believed re confirmation, we saw large numbers of people discount harassment, assault, women’s rights to own their bodies with the same freedoms that men have, etc. All of these things increase feelings of helplessness, worry, and depression. IF you EVER experienced any form of disparagement/exclusion as a female, the discussion and opinions being shared were a reminder that some people use size and muscle mass to control women’s actions, earning, opportunities, choices.
    This makes a perfect storm of public and private for women and we are seeing the impact in depression among women. You are not alone. The outcomes are unknown … but there will be impacts for decades no matter how the elections and news resolves.
    Support. Keep holding hands with others in unity, we are not alone even in the grip of anxiety/depression/fear. See beauty in the natural world every day. Kiss your loved ones and tell your love.

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  12. Hang in there Mama. I really feel ya. I read a post you wrote a few weeks AG about feeling cut off from friends and isolated. That resonated. This resonates too.

    I know I had ptsd from all that happened to get our littles and I know you have gotten help for it too. But maybe I should say have because I’m finding the further I get from it, the safer it is to explore and the more tied into my childhood, sense of self and worthiness than I thought – all to say the impact is still there.

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  13. Thank you for your honesty. Some days and weeks and months are a struggle. I think a good for step is realizing you are struggling and then slowly starting to figure out how to make things better. Way easier said than done. I had a horrible week 2 weeks ago and then realized I just needed some time alone. One hour outing was enough to rejuvenate me for a while. I hope you find some time to do something that will help.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Honestly I know the 2 things I need to do. I need to run or cycle or find some sort of fitness outlet at least a few times a week. This will give me alone time and help my feel physically better so it’s a double win. And second I may need to find a new counsellor and just talk it out, although the act of finding a counsellor is so daunting I’m avoiding it like the plague.

      Liked by 1 person

      • That sounds like a good plan. It’s amazing what physical activity will do for your mental and physical spirits. It’s SO hard to fit in sometimes. I still wake up around 4am to have some alone time to workout. I’m not sure what state id be in without it. I also think the counselor idea would be good. I wish I was still able to see mine. Hoping things start looking up my friend!

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  14. What you are dealing with is called depression. You need to find a counselor ASAP !! It is very common for depression to seep in the closer it gets to the holidays. Subconsciously, you are likely acting out; blaming yourself for things, feelings of inadequacy, burying yourself in action/work/activities to avoid feeling.

    It is important that you seek counseling NOW ! Your marriage and your family will suffer !! You are suffering. You need a neutral party to talk to and to work through all those feelings you are burying. I am lifting you and yours in prayer.

    Please seek help NOW. You are an amazing person and you have endured a hell of a lot. You just need to get in front of this and sort it all out. Xoxo

    Like

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