I am slightly petrified that we are about to say goodbye to our daily nap ritual. Let me explain.
Little MPB is no longer sleeping well at night – he has pretty much always been a good sleeper, so we know something is up.. He used to sleep from 7pm to 6:30am. A few months ago we switched his schedule to 7:30pm to 6:30am.
But, in the last few weeks, he’s no longer going to sleep at 7:30pm when it’s bed time. Instead, every night he lies in bed awake, sometimes talking, playing with his teddies, reading books, crying, etc. In fact, he’s no going to sleep as late as 9:30pm or even 10pm.
We’ve started to notice on days where he has a good nap (i.e. 1.5 to 2 hours), he does not sleep at night. As in, he just will not go to sleep. And on the opposite side of that, when he has a bad nap (i.e. 30 minutes), he goes to sleep at night much easier.
And, when he has a short nap on weekends, it’s not like he’s overly grouchy in the afternoon. He’s still pretty much his typical 2.5 year old self.
So, I decided to google “when do kids stop napping?”. I learned that:
“By age 2, most toddlers have given up their morning nap but still need an afternoon snooze to see them through the day. About a quarter of kids stop napping altogether by the age of 3, another half between ages of 3 and 4, with the final quarter continuing to nap until they’re 5 or 6.”
– Baby Centre (source)
Then I decided to ask friends. I was told “my almost 6 year old still needs a nap!” I was also told “our oldest had naps until 4.5. our youngest was done napping by 3”. So anecdotally, this quote above seems to be fairly accurate. And, let’s be honest, if there is anything I’ve learned as a part thus far, all kids are different, so hearing that some kids stop napping by 3 and some by 6, just seems to make sense.
So, we decided to talk to daycare about his nap schedule. It turns out, in the last month he’s become a horrible sleeper there too. We get a daily report and we’ve been able to see that his typical 1.5-2 hour nap is not happening any more, some days it’s 45 minutes and other days it’s 2 hours. But, we also learned that he is a light sleeper who wakes up to even the quietest little sounds. And, during nap time he prefers to talk to himself, and try to wake up his sleeping friends. To try to let his toddler friends have better naps, they’ve actually had to move his bed over to the pre-school area, where the bigger kids don’t nap as long.
All of this reminds me of 2 years ago, when he dropped his second nap and started only napping once a day. And so, I suspect we will see his nap vanish in the next month or so.
The plan with daycare is to try letting him sleep for a maximum of 1 hour during the day. And, if that doesn’t result in an improved overall night-time sleep, then we’ll drop it to 30 minutes. And from there, we’ll drop his nap entirely. And on weekends, we’ll do the same thing.
Truthfully, part of me is dreading no weekend naps – that’s my 2 hours to get stuff done! But, part of me is also very excited to no longer have a mandatory mid-day break. And another part of me is totally okay with dropping the nap, so long as the bedtime routine go back to evening stories and sleep in relatively short-order.
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Remember a few months ago we decided to let daycare take the lead on potty training? Well, they’ve done an excellent job of potty training, at daycare. In fact, Little MPB is a potty peeing pro at daycare. They keep him in a pull-up all day long, but he only uses it for poop. When it comes to pee, he now self-initiates, and does the whole potty routine on his own. Like completely on his own!! We are told that in a few more weeks he’ll simply choose to start using the potty for all of his daily needs including poop. Daycare is adamant that if you force a child into potty training it takes more time. So, they just use peer pressure, positive encouragement and a scheduled routine.
But, clearly, that’s not how it’s been going at home. At home, when we say potty, and we are faced with epic tears and meltdowns. He has actually mastered the art of running to another room, throwing himself on the ground and crying/screaming. (As an aside, how can a screaming/crying child be so adorable and almost humorous?!). We’ve been reading about how to overcome this, talking to daycare and I’ve even reached out to a few friends who have a bit more experience in potty training and seem to know what they are doing when it comes to potty training their own kids.
Anyways, we are implementing a modified daycare approach. Unlike daycare, at home during the day we are now diaper/pull-up free. We went and picked out big boy underwear, and he loves it. When we mention the potty before and after regular daily activities (like before dinner, before bedtime, etc.) we do not ask if he needs to go, we tell him. We are stern and matter-of-fact when it comes to the potty. We are also making it a family affair, sort of like how daycare uses peer pressure for the younger kids to learn – we say Little MPB goes to the potty first, then mommy/daddy goes to the potty second. And most recently we brought a teddy bear into the circle of potty users, which he absolutely loves because he gets to help his teddy use the potty. He also knows he gets chocolate when he uses the potty (not just sitting on it).
Needless to say, some days are better then others. But we are having more good days.
So, here’s what I can say about potty training my first (and last child):
- Little MPB isn’t one of those kids who just decides one day he’s going to use the potty on his own.
- We have discovered Little MPB doesn’t like being told to do something. Which is clearly a shocker given he’s almost officially a threenager (note the sarcasm). He prefers to self-initiate as often as possible. Which also means we have to leave him alone and let him make mistakes, which is easier said then done.
- Little MPB likes his privacy. Which is likely why he has mastered using the potty on his own at daycare. At home, we now stand outside the bathroom when he is using it, because while he doesn’t give us any potty privacy, we understand the desire for potty privacy.
- I get frustrated quicker then Mr. MPB. (But this is true to most things in life, just given our personality differences). Patience is a virtue, that I am lacking.
- Potty training isn’t the most fun I’ve had as a parent thus far. In fact, I hate it.
- Most recently I threatened that santa would not come if he doesn’t use the potty everyday, everytime. I’m officially the worst mom ever. Yet, I am hoping it’s the motivation he needs?
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