I Don’t Have To Say Much

As our children played together, the following polite conversation unfolded with someone I’ve met three times in my life:

Random person: He’s adopted, right?

Me: Yes.

Random person: You got him from Mexico?

Me: Nope, we adopted through the USA.

Random person: Oh…are you guys going to adopt again?

Me: Nope, after all we’ve been through, we are so thankful for Little MPB that we are one and done.

I’ve learned a lot in my short time in the adoption world.

  • I’ve learned that sometimes I don’t feel like sharing, and that’s okay, even if (or maybes especially when) the person asking seems disappointed when I don’t offer much room for prying questions.
  • I’ve learned that even if I do feel like sharing, not everyone gets to hear the details.  Explaining the struggle of recurrent pregnancy loss and international adoption process is just not a two minute conversation
  • But mostly, I’ve learned that the details are Little MPB’s story to share when he is ready to share.  We’ve never kept the fact that he’s adopted hidden/secrete, but especially when it comes to people we don’t know very well, I don’t have to say much.

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3 Comments on “I Don’t Have To Say Much

  1. Is it strange that it made me angry when the person just assumed you got him from Mexico? Why would they say that???
    I feel like if I’ve recently met someone, and found out they adopted, I would first ask if they minded questions about it, before just shooting them off. People annoy me when they just feel like they can ask any old thing that’s none of their business. Just, ugh.
    (Sorry, maybe I’m just feeling hormonal and over-reactive lol)

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  2. i know how you feel. my partner and i have three children i gave birth to the two older ones (19 and 14) using a donor and we, by some miracle, adopted our youngest 2yo. his biological father recently passed away due to a drug overdose. we also know the extended family and so half the neighborhood also knows how he came to be with us ( not our choice) i just got the “i heard his dad died” well, first of all it was his bio father, has never ever been a “dad” and he has been adopted, by 2 moms no less, so that terminology isn’t acceptable…there is NO DAD!. sometimes i fight the fight and sometimes i just don’t feel like it. people are insensitive and say things, maybe even without thinking, but do they honestly realize the sting they inflict? OUCH! we always get the “dad” even with the older two (donor)………so in some way i do understand!

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