I always just assumed that my parents and Mr. MPB’s parents would use the names that we used for our grandparents as kids. For example, my grandparents were grandpa and grandma. So, I assumed when my parents became grandparents, they’d just use grandpa and grandma.
Well, it turns out I was completely wrong!
My grandparents were Grandma and Grandpa, so I just assumed that’s what my parents would use. But, I was wrong. My Dad decided that his first grand-kids had to many grandpas and he wanted something different. So, he became Papa. I actually don’t hate the name Papa, but I still find it weird. My step-mom was assigned a name by her daughter, which is catchy and fun and works great. (Maybe I don’t care that she’s not Grandma because I always thought that would be my mom? I dunno, but it is a possibility).
As for Mr. MPB’s parents. Well, like most things, this is a bit more complicated. His dad is Grandpa. And everyone expected that to be his name and is therefore fine with it. But, his mom. She refused to use the name that her mom was called, because it was too hard for her after her mother died. Mr. MPB sees that name as a name of honour and he wishes his mom would use it. And so she chose a horrible name that all the adult kids hated. In fact, her two sons vetoed it and told her to come up with something else. So, she came up with something else…and it’s even worse. Her one son accepted it and his kids call her by that name. But, Mr. MPB, has adamantly refused to use the name she chose.
So, we have been in a passive aggressive battle for over 2 years now. She calls herself by the horrible name. We call her Grandma, a name we decided we liked, although not the name Mr. MPB wanted for her. Mr. MPB and his mom had one conversation about her choice of name, and Mr. MPB just told her eventually Little MPB will make his own choice on what to call her. But until then, we will be calling her Grandma.
Now, in my mind reason says that as Little MPB grows up, he’s likely to use the name we use for her, simply because he hears us talk about her and only sees her in person once a year. So, he’s just not going to know her that well and will be used to the name we’ve given her. But, who knows, he may eventually choose to use the other name. And really, for how little we see them, what does it really matter?
Anyways, all this brings to me to my question for today – who gets to choose the titles that Grandparents go by? Is it the grandparents themselves? The parents? Or the kid? And what do you do if the adults don’t agree?
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