I’m A Horrible Person
I’m about to sound like an absolutely horrible person. So please, if you cannot be supportive, I don’t want to hear it. I will delete mean/hurtful comments. (I hate starting with this types of caveat, but today I just need to protect myself).
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So, Doodle MPB is now 11.5 weeks old.
I basically hate her. This morning I actually told Mr. MPB that I wish I could return her. Words, I never thought in my life I would even think, let alone utter aloud. Mr. MPB was not very supportive in my moment of weakness, in fact he said something about what am I going to do when either him or Little MPB have a few bad weeks? (Which in my mind implied he thinks I’d get rid of them, which is NEVER an option and not at all the same thing. Quiet frankly I think it was completely inappropriate for him to say that). He blames me for convincing him to get a dog and for picking her. And, he’s right, I spent months and months searching for the right dog for our family, and I picked the breed and I literally picked her from her litter-mates. This is on me, I take responsibility for this. And, while I may wish I could return her, we wont, because that’s just not what you do. But, laying out my most vulnerable feelings and having them thrown back in my face just made me feel even worse about myself.
There have been a lot of tears running down my cheeks this morning. I feel like the worst person alive because, who doesn’t love a puppy?
Honestly, I never in my life thought I could hate a dog, let alone an adorable little puppy. I love all dogs. I mean, I stop in the middle of the street to greet any dog that crosses my path and I just cannot get enough of them.
But, Doodle MPB is not a normal dog, unbeknownst to us. She screams, constantly.
Everyone keeps telling us, give her time, she’ll grow out of the screaming. We were told it’ll just be the first few nights/days. Then people started saying, it’ll just be the first week. We were told use frozen kongs, but Doodle MPB couldn’t care less about them. We try giving her bully sticks, but again, Doodle MPB is only entertained by them for about 2 minutes. We were told to try shaking a plastic container with rocks in it to startle her, and she stops for all of 2 seconds. We’ve tried giving her a stuffed puppy with a heartbeat and heater in it and again, she couldn’t care less. We’ve tried blankets over her crate to keep it dark. We brought in a trainer who told us to ignore her. We ignore her, but at 2 hours of solid crying/screaming/barking, what are we supposed to do? We’ve even googled bark collars but are very aware that they are an absolute last resort and are not to be used on puppies so that’s the only thing we really haven’t tried yet.
And so, here we are nearly a month later and basically she’s a point where she’ll sleep at night without screaming. But during all waking hours she screams. Our house is a miserable place to be and we seem to leave our house more, just to escape her screaming. When I’m at home, I have to hide from her to keep her quiet(er) because if she sees me, she goes crazy. Her crate and x-pen are set up in the kitchen, during the day I literally avoid going to get lunch, a drink or really anything in the kitchen for fear of setting her off again. We cannot take the constant screaming for the next 10+ years, let alone a few more weeks. It’s driving all of us absolutly, completely crazy.
I truly don’t think she’s meant to be crate trained. But I’m also afraid to give a not completely house-trained puppy free reign of our house. Honestly, I think she’s simply desperate to be right next to us. But, that’s never going to happen – it’s not realistic to expect us to keep our dog within 1 foot of us at all times. In fact, it’s basically impossible.
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We have another trainer coming in a few hours. She actually used to take care of our last dog from time to time – she’s lovely but very expensive. We decided to call her because she is the only trainer we can find that offers in her-home boarding training. At this point we think we need more intervention with the barking/screaming. Honestly, we don’t know what else to do. I hate the thought of giving our dog to someone else for a few weeks, but we are simply desperate.
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My Perfect Breakdown 
Who doesn’t love a puppy? Um, anyone who’s ever had a puppy, I think!!! *Other people’s* puppies are super-easy to love! But having your own puppy is really hard. As hard as a newborn baby in some ways. And some puppies are harder than others, just like some babies are harder than others, and it sounds like you got a really, really hard one. She’ll almost certainly grow out of the worst of it eventually — 11 weeks is still so little, even though I know it must feel like an eternity! I remember how hard it was having a baby at 11 weeks — that was basically the age that S stopped sleeping AT ALL, and in a moment of anger and weakness at 2am I punched his crib mattress because I was so frustrated that he just wouldn’t sleep — not proud of it. I know it’s hard to give it time. But you will all adjust, and find ways to live together. I hope you can find a way to deal with the screaming. I know a lot of people would think I’m evil for suggesting it, but have you tried a bark collar? (They make ones with some sort of scent that puppies hate if you are opposed to the electric shock kind.) My cousin had a super-high-strung dog from the moment he was a puppy, and the bark collar gave them some very needed relief when he was younger. Hang in there… it’s hard!
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Just popping in to say that once we had kids, and one wouldn’t sleep and JUST KEPT CRYING, I told my husband that I understood how some people could end up shaking their babies. I never did it (I would admit if I had – I’m that type of gal!), but man alive, I could see how it happens. I did one time lay him down too firmly and I still feel badly, but no one got hurt and we’re past it. I wish I’d just punched the mattress like you did.
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Same here. My son woke up screaming 5-10 times a night from 3months to 3 YEARS (he’s “normal”, just very, very sensitive – he still talks, cries and sometimes walks in his sleep now when he’s almost 10). I never hurt him but I screamed at him “why don’t you sleep” and, after years of sleep deprivation, also worse things. That’s my greatest regret as a mother, but I also have forgiven myself, mostly. The situation was unbearable by all reasonable standards.
And I’ve also heard so many people talk about “puppy fatigue” or “post-puppy depreddion”. I think it’s SO NORMAL, puppies are incredibly demanding!
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Oh man. I hear you so hard. I’m so sorry you’re having such struggles with your pup. It would be so helpful if we could expand to adults this idea that has pervaded parenting with young children: all feelings are valid. I once told my dad that a dog we k my wife and I) adopted had made my life miserable for years. It was true. I’ll never be able to explain how much it meant to me that he could just hear it.
Your feelings are valid (and understandable). You’re doing the right thing by continuing to work with trainers. One other thought: have you talked to a vet about potential neurological issues? Above all, I hope you find your way out of this misery!
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You are far from alone in feeling this way. It’s one of several reasons why so many shelters and rescues have adolescent dogs for adoption: unlike relationships with humans, people *do* have the option of getting rid of a puppy/dog if things aren’t working out the way they thought they would.
It may be that this particular dog’s personality simply does not mesh well with yours/your family’s, and I for one do not think there is any shame in acknowledging this and finding a suitable alternative home for the dog, if it comes to that. I say this as a major dog lover who has adopted her last three dogs from shelters/rescues.
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I actually completely agree with this. A good fit is very important and this might just not be the right fit.
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Our dog had a similar reaction to crate, and was impossible to crate train. Believe me I tried. We resorted to putting him in the bathroom with a bed and paper to pee 0n. It worked. Otis however has terrible anxiety about pretty much everything- frustratingly so.
Hope the trainer helps! For us working with the behaviour had to happen though!
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I am a dog lover , probably an extreme dog lover , I would like to share this incident to all of you , a small puppy came to our road and was causing a hell of a time , biting and attacking people on the street ( yeah this happens only in India 😂), I was made to tie a rope around the dog and had to pull it out of the area and many stuff happened.
The reason for the story is that even though we love dogs a lot and take time and search for them there is always a chance things may go wrong .
Don’t feel you are a horrible person , try to be positive about it 😃
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As someone who found herself in the position of surrendering a dog (something I never, ever thought I’d do) and living with the daily guilt of it not having a happy ending, I have absolutely no judgement of your feelings whatsoever. Sometimes, despite our best intentions and hard work, things just don’t work out the way we want them to. That’s not to say that you won’t ever get the screaming issue solved, but if you can’t, don’t beat yourself up about. You have obviously tried very hard to make the situation work. I would say you have done more than most people every would. Hopefully the new trainer can help you out. I really feel for all of you in this situation. I can imagine how completely stressful it must be.
Like one of your other commenters, I was also wondering if it would be worthwhile to take her to the vet to make sure it isn’t a health issue that’s causing the screaming.
Good luck to you. Be kind to yourself.
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No judgment here. I hope you find a solution that works for your whole family and dog mpb, whatever that may be. In a weird way the situation with her hating the crate reminds me of my experience with a human baby who hated the crib. All the sleep training advocates in my life made it sound like she SHOULD be in the crib, I should be training her to be there and to sleep independently, and that the crying would eventually stop. But it just wasn’t what worked for my individual baby. She needed constant contact. And it has been inconvenient at times, but obviously with a human baby you’re more willing to have them attached to you all the time than with a dog. Perhaps IF dog MPB isn’t the kind of dog to be crate trained, you’ll find yourself making the decision to give up on the crate and attachment-parent your dog, or you’ll find her another loving home where she can be glued to her owner 24-7… All of this with the caveat that I know nothing about dog training. Good luck!!
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Hopefully I won’t get any hate for this but….
When we had River, we never used a shock collar. If he barked a lot (he was a beagle, they howl all the time!) we would just say “Quiet!” and that was that. Rocky? Ha! Not so much. In a moment of desperation, I ordered a remote collar. It has 3 settings; shock, vibration and noise. I liked the fact that it was remote since I figured with an actual bark collar, he would be getting shocked pretty much constantly. There are certain situations that I allow him to bark in. But sitting there staring at us all evening and barking is a no. Sitting in his crate and barking all night is also a no.
I’d like to add here that I also tried everything to get him to stop… Kong, blanket over the crate, soft bedding, making a loud noise to distract him etc etc etc.
So, I want you to know how easy and un-cruel this can be. It literally took all of maybe 5 times of giving him a 1 second shock before he stopped barking. That was it. Now, even if he isn’t wearing the collar (which he hardly ever does now), he is a much quieter dog. And I feel so much better about him now. Honestly, I wish I’d just started with the collar instead of wasting all that time being mad about his barking!
When I used the collar, I gave him lots of treats and love during the training session. He didn’t connect me with the collar but rather connected his barking with the shock. And one more thing…. Much to my surprise, we actually found that the vibration setting works just as well and a shock is not hardly ever necessary. We’ve used the collar to stop him jumping on the kids also. He’s a big puppy and has scratched Tru on his face while jumping on him. That behavior absolutely had to stop and the collar was much more effective than us yelling at his 20x a day to get down.
And to anyone who might want to leave me a nasty comment, I absolutely tried the shock on myself BEFORE using it on my dog. It was definitely not painful. It was just a weird sensation that catches your attention but definitely doesn’t hurt. It was about on par with the static shock you get during the winter after rubbing your socks across the carpet.
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Can you send me the exact collar you bought??? If you don’t want to share here can you email me the link, myperfectbreakdown@gmail.com?? The one you used sounds great and if we get to using one, I’d really like to use the one you’ve used.
And thank you so very much for sharing this with me. I am truly grateful.
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https://www.walmart.com/ip/Petrainer-PET998DR1-Rechargeable-Electric-Dog-Training-Collar-LCD-100LV-Shock-Vibrate-Collar-With-Remote/194907319
Here you go! I hope they have it in Canada. I should add, you can adjust the shock to whatever level your dog responds to.
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They have it on amazon.ca. thank you so much!
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You’re welcome!! Keep us posted on how everything goes. 🙂 Hang in there. I’ve had plenty of “What were we thinking?” moments too. Puppies are hard. I’m never getting another puppy lol. (You’ll probably need to remind of this someday down the road.) 😉
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I too am never getting another puppy, ever!! And also realize I’ll probably need someone to remind me of this in 10+ years. 🙂
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😂😉 Let’s remind each other.
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I also want to add a special thank you for your note about the dog jumping on your kids and scratching Tru. This is also part of our problems at the moment, but honestly, that seems more “normal” puppy at the moment. It’s a problem, and something we need to deal with.
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Absolutely! The scratch was right beside his eye and it bled. I know it’s normal behavior for a puppy but it’s not safe at all. It could have severely hurt his eye! And this is with us being right there. You just can’t 100% keep a puppy from jumping just because you are close by so we had to do something to keep everyone safe. Rocky loves the boys and they adore him so we want them to get to be together as much as possible.
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Another vote for trying the shock collar. We used a very similar thing to train our farm dog to stay within the boundaries of an invisible (buried) fence. The first couple of shocks were all that were needed. After that the collar just beeped and the dog knew to back away from the edge of the property. He was a loving and very loved dog. It was quick, painess (just a bit of a pinch), and easy.
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So much this. The shock collar saved us when Twix was a puppy. We didn’t use it for barking, but man it works. They get the idea FAST. And honestly, it feels like a static shock. It’s not that big of a deal. I would do it again in a heartbeat. ❤️❤️❤️
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I HATED Puppy training. Puppies, while adorable, are holy terrors. My husband was always of the mind that we HAD to get a puppy if we wanted a dog because he didn’t want to inherit someone else’s bad training. I convinced him to come to the shelter with me and I was so happy he agreed to Ozzy, a 2 year old dog. While he does have his issues, I am so happy to have skipped the potty training, crate training, chewing, etc of a puppy. Our beagle was a screamer, she hated the kennel so much. It was the absolute worst.
I don’t think you’re a bad person, that’s a lot to deal with. Hugs and I hope it gets better for you.
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So many people encouraged us to find a 2 year old dog, and I was in your husband’s camp of wanting a puppy without a potential negative history. Honestly, as things are right now, I’ll never get a puppy again! I’d rather the quarks of a pre-trained dog then an actual puppy.
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You mentioned in one of your previous posts about teeth issues with doodle MPB, can you get it ruled out that its not causing her pain and there are no other health issues? (Thinking of babies here, like colicky babies, or babies who had food issues )
Also out of curiosity, can you ask the litter owner if she was screaming all day in the litter? Maybe she is having separation anxiety and feels left out.
Also, you need to remember, dog MPB was a big dog coming from a rescue. So dog MPB had seen horrible days and was naturally calmer since she was also older.
While I validate your feelings, (id go mad if someone screamed all day) and you are working from home all day. I do feel Mr MPB is also sort of right (well not his words, but his intention). I feel all he asked you was to suck it up and give it time, more like if we had constant bad days, you wouldnt leave us , so accept this as well.
Also, I am pretty sure, I’ve seen diapers for dogs. Maybe till doodle MPB is house trained, you could diaper her? Just for a few hours so that she can roam around the house and then put her in the crate? more like how we sleep train kids.
Please know that you are not a horrible person, you are just frustrated and feel guilty. So be kind to yourself.
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I don’t have a lot of experience here but just wanted to say I am sorry. It sounds miserable ❤️
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Oh no. I’m so sorry to hear that things still aren’t going well. I truly hope that this trainer can do something to help you guys out and get this little lady under control. You’re definitely not alone in this. I’ve seen many people take puppies, or even grown dogs, to the pound for things like this. I give you a lot of credit for not giving up and for wanting to continue working with her to try to fix this. I can’t even imagine how desperate you must be feeling after listening to that screaming so constantly. Thinking of you. If you need any more words of encouragement please let me know! I’ll do what I can!!
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Another vote for the shock collar. They are not as bad as they sound at all. We have an invisible fence around our yard and our dog wears a collar so she can’t get out of the yard. It beeps at her as a warning and then shocks her. We also tried these “shocks” out on ourselves. Next to nothing. I agree with the commenter who said it is like a winter shock inside your house! My dog hardly ever goes near that boundary line and we had a trainer work with us on it. I think people just aren’t educated on some of these methods because they sound barbaric but truly aren’t! No matter what, I feel for what your family is going through. It has to be absolutely frustrating. I hope you find something to quiet the beast soon:)
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I am so sorry you are going through this. When I look back on our doodle when he was 12 weeks, we went through about 1 week of trying to create train him and it failed miserably. His anxiety was through the roof, to a point where he would soil his create out of pure anxiety. I am not sure what would have happened if we didn’t have our 2nd dog, but what we found was that as long as he was with her (outside of a create) but in a different room (our mud room or garage for example) he was fine. As an adult dog (5 years old) he has gotten a lot better, but still has a hard time being left alone, yet is perfectly fine when the other dog is there with him. The good news is that with him having full range of the house (now that he is potty trained), he does not see the need in following us everywhere and is content just hanging out wherever.
I guess my point is – so sorry you are experiencing this and feeling the guilt. My hope is that she will work through this phase and your trainer will help with the anxiety.
Have you thought about doggy day-care when she is old enough to go? Maybe having socialization time with other dogs during the day a couple times a week would be helpful for her separation anxiety and for you guys to just have a break? I did tell my husband that if anything happened to our board collie, leaving our doodle as the only dog, I’d sign him up for doggy day care immediately because he is such a social and co-dependent dog.
Positive thoughts your way as you work through this phase.
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Puppies are so tough! I’m sorry that she’s being so difficult.
I very much remembering wanting to give our dog back when he was a puppy… and he wasn’t a screamer. But it did get better. It’s just so tough when you’re right in the middle of it.
I hope the second trainer works her magic and things get better soon.
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My dog is like my firstborn child— loved like crazy, spoiled— and he was the same way about the crate. We actually bought a house sooner than we’d wanted to because we were renting a duplex and his barking was going to get us evicted. I was so stubbornly insistent that crate training was necessary and best for him, and he just hated it, no matter how many fancy beds or toys we tried. We started letting him in our bed at like 6 am, and he started barking for it earlier and earlier until we just gave up and he slept with us. And… he still does. But the barking stopped and while he’s still kind of a big mamas boy who likes to be on me whenever possible, I can push him off or leave the house without issue. We did dedicate a full week to potty training while he was still screaming in the crate so he did fine with free roam of the house.
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I think your feelings are normal under that kind of behavior from your puppy. She is still so young. I’m not going to pretend I know anything about puppy training though so I sadly do not any advice for you. Good luck getting this sorted out. It seems like you are working very hard at finding a solution.
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Puppies are HARD. Seriously. I was like you and had these rose coloured glasses visions of how amazing life was going to be when we decided to get a puppy and have our son grow up with the dog. My stress levels shot through the roof constantly during the first year of her being around. Part of it was our own fault because we just weren’t consistent enough with enforcing all training and we let a lot of things slide. But part of it was that we thought we could handle a high energy, super intelligent breed, but it turns out I just couldn’t. We toughed it out and now that she’s almost 2 we still have our tough moments, but it’s slowly getting better. I will never get a puppy ever again though. It’s a very, very hard pass for me.
I also vote for a bark collar. We have one on our Gracie and, when the battery isn’t dead, it seems to do the trick. She actually once was told she wasn’t allowed back at a dog boarding kennel because she was barking so incessantly when she was put in her crate at night. I was mortified. She doesn’t go in a crate at night at home, so that’s why she was barking so much there. But we got them to agree to take her back on if we provided a bark shock collar for them to put on her during crate time. The collar works. I highly recommend giving it a shot. You are at your wits end and she is ruining your quality of life right now, so I say to do it for your own sanity.
Family of ours sent both of their Portuguese Water Dogs (our dog’s breed) away for intensive training sessions and had them returned back well trained and ready to go on with life. They swore by it. You are a hard working family with a young child, if you are ok with having someone else do a crash course in training for you, then do it. There is absolutely no shame in it. You do what works best for your family!
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Puppies freaking suck. Seriously. And I agree with everyone who says that it’s important for pets to be the right fit for your Home and your lifestyle. It’s not healthy for anyone if you’re resentful of the pet. And frankly, this is an extreme issue. Really extreme. Honestly, if the next round of training doesn’t work, I would probably find myself considering the bark collar and if not that, then calling the breeder and demanding they re-Home the dog. (No clue why my phone keeps capitalizing Home.) I love dogs. Love them. But I don’t want to live with all of them. (And they don’t all want to live with me!) This is not on you because you picked this puppy. You couldn’t have knows this would happen. You are a good person and a loving mom, and you don’t need to feel guilty. No matter what you do, I am in your corner and I will take down the first person who gives you crap!
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I’m echoing everyone else here when I say that it’s okay to feel frustrated and exhausted. Having a baby dog in the house is exhausting. I will be the odd one on here by saying that shock collars can inadvertently train dogs with fear, which can breed aggression. I won’t ever judge anyone for what they feel they need to do, but I also wanna make sure decisions are informed.
My friend who trains puppies for adoption had a couple questions when I mentioned your situation to her. She’s wondering if maybe the puppy is having a health problem and shouldn’t be checked out by the vet? Sometimes crying is a sign of pain.
She also said the puppy could be experiencing anxiety and doesn’t feel safe yet in the house. She sent me a bunch of articles that I can send to you if you’re interested in them.
As for helping, she said, and I quote, “reward the shit out of her every time she’s quiet for 30 seconds and then keep doing that until you can move it up to a minute.” ::shrugs:: so there’s that. Haha
I hope you are able to get some relief and figure out the root cause of the crying. ❤️
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Oh you poor thing. Vent away. I would find that extremely challenging. I find challenging tiny humans hard enough haha I was going to suggest maybe there is someone who specialises in her breed that could help if this next trainer doesn’t? I hope you get a resolution soon. It sounds super stressful. 😦 sending lots of these ❤️👊💪🤗
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I don’t think your a horrible person. And a break sounds like just what you need. Hopefully this trainer can do something about it.
Two stories. First, my first experience with fostering was not with the SPCA. It was with another organization before the SPCA. They said I had the perfect house and personality for this dog, so the plopped her in my house with no training. What they forgot to mention was that she was terrified of men. Any work I had done with her unraveled when Michael got home. Even our dog Jerzee began to get protective. And I couldn’t get through to her again. I didn’t sleep the entire time she was in our house and when I contacted the organization to ask them to take her back, I was made to feel two feet tall. That I must have lied when I said I was good with dogs. And this dog was a good 50 or 60 pounds. I can relate to becoming vulnerable and having it slammed back in your face.
Second story. We adopted Teddy a little over a year ago. And the adjustment was hard. He was skittish and would get bored and chew on everything. The first time we traveled, we took him to our doggie daycare which he had to pass their tests, thankfully he did. There was no way we could take him with us, even though we took our other dog. After that initial daycare experience, we have taken him just for a day when he starts getting restless and bored. Granted, the chewing at least inside has stopped and he has adjusted to our lower energies for the most part. But when he starts getting crazy, we take him there to play hard with other dogs for a day. To give both him and us a break. So, I’m totally in support of your pup taking a little vacation so your guts can get some sanity back!
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Oh, honey… “who doesn’t love a puppy?”
Me! And my sisters, and my husband, and so many people I know!
I know you feel terrible but let me tell you, reading this gave ME anxiety, and I’m not listening to the screaming dog. I cannot begin to imagine how much you hate this, and the bit I can imagine makes me cringe. I am not cut out for puppies or dogs in my house, but I LOVE dogs. All dogs. I love them. But I could not handle what you’re describing.
You are not a terrible person. And I’m not thrilled with what Mr MPB said to you because it’s not the time to say those things.
Good luck with the trainer. I’m anxious for an update. Until then, remember that no one here thinks you’re terrible.
❤️
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Ugh the puppy stage is the worst sometimes! Hopefully this new trainer will help and give you some insight on how to not completely lose your sanity and maybe give you a few pointers on how to help your puppy cope with being alone for a while (it definitely sounds like your pup has separation anxiety). I’m almost positive this is an obstacle you can conquer, it will just take some time! Until then, good luck and remember, it is just a bad day, not a bad life!
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I was just reflecting on your situation and had the thought that perhaps it’s a poor for for THIS time in your life. When we got our lab as a puppy we were in the throes of infertility and loss and I had a huge hole that needed filling. The puppy training was hard work but it was worth it. Ours was also allowed to roam the house from day 1 and I just cleaned up any mess he made. I was happy to have him with me constantly because I was sad and his youthful, exuberant company was a balm to my soul. But I’m not there anymore… I have a human baby now and I can say in all honesty that I wouldn’t have the energy or patience for it. And that’s ok. We learn from our experiences and you may have inadvertently romanticised puppyhood and then on top of that it sounds like you have a VERY high needs puppy. I wouldn’t be able to tolerate constant screaming at all, it would do my head in and I think if you can’t find a solution soon then rehoming would be kindest for you and puppy. All the best xxx
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‘its a poor fit’
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I say this to every person with a small child or baby – do not get a puppy. No kidding, I have seen it work 3 times in the past 18 years of doing dog rescue. Its crazy that in all that time I can rattle off the three families who made it work. Grown dogs are just the way to go unless you have loads of time and money and help.
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Yup, you definitely told me not to get a puppy and I definitely didn’t listen. And now I wish I had listened to you and I promise I’m never getting another puppy in my life.
But we made a commitment to this dog and so we will pour money and time into training and we will do everything possible make this work.
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Don’t be silly – of course you’ll get another puppy in your life and this one will work out just fine. I feel badly that it’s not what you expected. Losing an older dog is so painful I totally get wanting to have a puppy and raise it up, What I was meaning to convey is that raising a puppy and a small child tends to be almost impossible because we all only have so much time, energy, patience, etc…
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You are NOT a horrible person !
Most people honestly do not realize that having a puppy is just like having a baby.
They do cry a LOT at first and are mischievious, especially if you make the mistake of letting them have run of the house.
Try putting the puppy in his crate in your bedroom when you sleep with one of your previously worn tees… or you could just put him in the bed with you. If he is crying during the day, put him right next to you. The puppy is just lonely or bored.
I went through this with Langston (my Maltipoo) and I cried like a baby feeling like I made a huge mistake. Now, he is almost 7 and the best pal ever.
Hang in there and break the doggy rules if need be to calm the puppy and give yourself a break ! Xoxo
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I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. My retired in laws got a puppy recently and have been struggling at times. They have a love hate relationship with their puppy. You have every right to feel as you do.
I’m glad to hear that you won’t be returning the puppy. There are so many people who end up returning puppies who end up in shelters. I don’t have any words of advice for you but wish you and your family the best of luck. ❤️
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Oh friend. I’m sending you all the love out there. When we brought home our first doodle, Chops, she had a food allergy that we didn’t know about and was up every hour through the night (no joke) with diarrhea for WEEKS. It was horrendous, no one was sleeping, and I sobbed to Mr. Big that I wanted to give her back more times than I can count. I felt like the scum of the earth because I was having all these angry feelings towards a little wee puppy.
A good friend told me that puppies are cute BECAUSE they’re not easy. They need to be cute so you’ll stick it out…similar to newborns. Give yourself a little love and grace to feel frustrated…it sounds like a nightmare listening to the constant puppy noise and anyone would be going crazy! Yes, puppies are a lot of work and that is to be expected (and you knew that when you got her) – but sometimes a puppy has a problem bigger than the norm that requires specialized help…and I think that’s what you’re facing. Good for you for reaching out to a trainer and I really hope she can offer you some hope and can get Doodle MPB to a better place!
Sending you all the love! Puppies are NOT easy! (Thank God they’re cute!)
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I don’t know if this will help in your case, but my daughter had a dog that was a constant barker. She bought a little sonar egg thing, that you could set to different levels of intensity. Whenever the dog barked, It emitted a sound that was undetectable to human ears, but that was annoying to the dog. It helped tremendously with those times when he was in his crate and would not stop barking! He also had separation anxiety and he wanted to be by a person at all times…. so we only had to use it during the times when he needed to be in his crate!
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I can’t even imagine the frustration, I am so sorry you are going through this, I know it was definitely not the plan! Hugs and I really hope that the trainer can help Doodle MPB out.
And I’m so sorry that Mr. MPB said those things on top of it. That was definitely out of line. But I’m sure he is just really frustrated with it all too.
Love and luck to you all.
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You’re not a horrible person. I hate anything that makes my life harder so I get that part of it. Even our dog who’ve we’ve had for almost 12 years has become harder to deal with. I feel bad even saying that but sometimes I feel like it’s another thing to have to worry about. I hope it gets better for you!
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I get this. Puppy rearing is hella hard. Yappy did well in crate training until one day he flipped out. We moved him to a doggy play pen. He busted out after about 3 weeks. Keep in mind that he was about 3.5lbs at the time. I put him in the kitchen with a baby gate; he scaled the gate! So I put him in the bathroom. He was good for about six months… then again he flipped out again and started breaking his nails trying to claw through the door. That was the last straw, he got free reign after that. He cries a lot too, but so sweet!
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You are definitely not a horrible person. Nothing here but sympathy – given what you’re describing, I’m in awe of your patience and fortitude to put up with the situation for this long! Like the first comment said, it’s anxiety-producing just reading, no doubt it is so, so much worse to be dealing with in reality.
So sorry that Mr. MPB was not so helpful with his comments – that is also rough. Sending thoughts and hoping that the trainer is able to do something with the puppy to make life more bearable.
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Wow, these people are nice to you. I found a dog the other day and did the proper thing by bringing her in out of the rain. I posted on all the “found dog” sites saying that I couldn’t keep her because I don’t like dogs. OMG! You would have thought I was contemplating killing it! At least I can admit that I have had bad experiences with having a dog companion and choose to not try again.
As far as your husbands comment, I’ve adopted 2 humans and in the process of adopting another and have 3 bio children. I am a foster parent and (oh my god) have asked children be moved to different homes because we’re not a good fit. When taking in a pet animal or human (lol) were expected to fall in love immediately and it doesn’t always happen.
Also, maybe your dog has ADHD and needs meds.. just saying it’s 2018, it might be a thing. 😂
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