Adoption Awareness Month
November is/was Adoption Awareness Month. I don’t think I new about Adoption Awareness Day (November 18) and about Adoption Awareness month until this year. Yet, once again, just like the pregnancy and infant loss awareness month in October, I’ve struggled to put pen to paper.
As an aside, I find it interesting how I struggle to write about something when I feel as though I’m being told to write about it. I know my lack of works is not the result of not know what to write. I always have lots to say. But rather, I think it’s that I struggle with these awareness months/dates, because I hate that we need them. I hate that our society is not more accepting and understanding of these “less common” things. But that’s probably a rant best saved for a different day.
Anyways, as I reflect on Adoption Awareness Month, I have to say, not a day goes by that I’m not thankful for adoption. Adoption gave me a child. Adoption made me a mother. This is truly amazing for me. But, as much as adoption has been amazing for me, I realize adoption is not about me.
And so while I am thankful every single day, not a day goes by that I am not in awe at what it truly means for me to be a mother. Someone else, another mother, is living with loss everyday. A type of loss that I cannot even begin to imagine. I know the loss of babies who I desperately loved that never took their first breaths. But, I cannot even begin to know the loss of a child who is living and breathing somewhere else in the world. The fact that I get to love Little MPB, play with him every single day, sing silly songs, have nightly dance parties, change stinky diapers, see his smiling face ever morning and be on the receiving end of his adorable little kisses and fierce full body hugs, is an honor that is not lost to me. I believe the words I wrote here, are the best words I’ve ever written on my feelings around being a mother thanks to adoption.
I know I make mistakes. I know I’m not a perfect person, in fact I’m pretty darn imperfect. And I know I’m definitely not a perfect mother, but I do try my absolute best. And, I also know I don’t understand all things adoption or open-adoption. But, I know, that I have to make it my lives mission to be the best mother, and specifically I have to be the best mother thanks to open-adoption that I can possibly be. I never anticipated being a mother thanks to open-adoption, but the second I knew I would be, was the second I knew I’d never stop trying to be the very best that I can be. I believe my son’s birthmother deserves that from me. And, more then anything, my son deserves that fro me. In fact, I believe it’s his right. He had no say in his adoption reality, and it will undoubtedly impact the rest of his life (exactly how is anyone’s guess). But, I firmly believe, it is my role as his mother to be open and honest while providing a loving home for him to grow up in.
And so, I will continue to read. I will continue to learn. I will continue to educate and advocate.
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