Heartbreaking Moment

It was one of those ordinary days, I just picked Little MPB up from daycare and we were driving home.

As we drove, we passed a family presumably out for a walk.  It was clear that it was a grandmother, mother and a few young kids.  Everyone was smiling, one of the kids was doddling in the snow.  Everyone just seemed happy.

Instantly, it struck me and tears ran down my cheeks.

I was witnessing a moment I will never experience, yet something way back when I assumed would happen.

I will never get to go for an innocent walk on a snowy day with my mom and children.  My mom will never get to know Little MPB and Little MPB will never really truly get to know my mom.

I will never get to have more then our one child.  Children, plural, are not in my future.

It’s a heartbreaking moment when the reality of my life sneaks up and reminds me that not all dreams can come true.

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34 Comments on “Heartbreaking Moment

  1. Big hugs to you. I feel your pain, I wish beyond anything my mum could have met my two beautiful children, I find it incredibly unfair that they will lose out on that special relationship and nothing I can do an replace it 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Although I am very blessed to have my mom in our daughter’s life, I often think of what a great grandma my wife’s mom would have been if she were still alive. It’s not fair to lose any family members, and so unfair when we think of what our children are missing out on by not having those family members as part of their lives. I’m sorry you had this sad reflection 😦 It’s not nice to think about, but so unavoidable.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am so sorry to hear that you are also missing very special people in your family. You are right, it’s always so sad when all we can do is wish our children could know those we love so deeply and shaped us into the people we are.


  3. Me too, MPB, me too. This time of year is so intense–magical and heartbreaking because we can’t share these moments with the ones we’ve lost. And then most of my/Mr. MLACS’s family is dysfunctional and a huge disappointment. I don’t know if I will ever be able to shake it off and have a carefree holiday–I can fake it, I can stuff down those negative feelings and focus on the positive–but I don’t know if things will ever feel “right” to me. But I do have those moments of pure joy–thanks to BG and Mr. MLACS and our furbabies. XOXO

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, this time of year is spectacularly intense – magical and heartbreaking all at once. I think when you know the kind of loss and heartbreak that you and I both do, we become good at faking it because there is always something/someone missing.
      But as you say those moments of pure joy make it all worth it, because gosh, those moments are just beyond amazing!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ugh. These moments sometimes sneak up on me too. We walk around with so much grief but have learned how to cope but sometimes the pain of reality hits us hard. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I know those thoughts so well. My two will never meet my mom either. In addition, my eldest has only met my dad/family once (that he can remember) and my youngest has never met them. So, many memory making moments won’t happen. *hugs* I know how you feel.


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