The Worst Experience of our USA Adoption: Part 5

As Mr. MPB have been spending our evenings discussing everything I’ve been writing about, as if in some ways re-hashing all the crazy we endured – the lies, the ever increasing fees, the threat of taking Little MPB away, disrespect for Little MPB’s birth mom, etc.  And of course, Mr. MPB pointed out another part that I should share.  So, here is part 5.

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We are Canadians.  Our medical system is not perfect, but we never have to worry about going to a doctor, or receiving emergency medical care.  I’ve never in my life received a bill for any medical appointments or medical procedures in Canada.

So, as Canadians having a child in the USA, we were petrified of the USA medical system.  Our USA Agency gave us a USA Medical System 101 crash course.  Evidently Medicaid would cover Little MPB’s birth and basic care so long as we were in State 1. Once we left State 1 for State 2, Little MPB’s medical care would become the Agencies responsibility, and therefore our responsibility. (Now I cannot helpt but wonder if this was true?)

So, before we went to the USA we began trying to figure out how to get Little MPB medical insurance, because most babies need to see a pediatrician at some point in time.  We tried to buy private insurance for Little MPB.  No Canadian insurance provider would cover him because he wasn’t a Canadian citizen and they couldn’t figure out how to deal with the adoption stuff.  No USA insurance provider would cover him because we weren’t American and they couldn’t figure out how to deal with the adoption stuff.

So, our USA agency assured us that they purchase medical insurance for all international families and we’d just pay them for the insurance bill. But, at no-time would they provide us with any sort of written confirmation of the insurance policy.  So, we had to trust them.  And, this was before all the crazy horribleness happened while we were in the USA, so we just assumed they would purchase a policy.

When we got to State 2 we asked about the medical insurance because we wanted to take Little MPB to see a pediatrician.  Little MPB appeared healthy, but he had not seen any sort of pediatrician/doctor since he was 3 days old.  Our Canadian clinic was helping us as much as possible over the phone (thank god).  But we still thought it would be a good idea to check in with a doctor in person.

Well, it turns out the agency did not buy any sort of medical insurance for Little MPB.  Once we found this out we sort of panicked.  We knew the agency would never cover any medical costs if Little MPB got sick.  And, we knew if he got really sick we could literally go bankrupt taking care of him in the USA.

Mr. MPB and I became consumed with worry.  We knew Little MPB had been exposed to more germs then most babies – he lived in a hotel the first week of his life, he flew from State 1 to State 2, we were staying in a house with other children, etc.  What were we going to do if he got sick?!  How could we ever afford it?  How could they have lied to us about this?   When will the lies ever stop?!  We began obsessively sterilizing his bottles, and washing his blankets and clothing, etc.  Yet because we were dealing with all the other insane things, in some ways it kept us from obsessing too much about it.

Ironically enough, right before we were signing the final paperwork, the USA agency decided to require Little MPB to go to a pediatrician.  If their pediatrician had any worries about Little MPB’s health he wouldn’t be allowed to leave the USA until he was better – something as simple as a cold would have prevented us from going home.  Clearly that threat scared the bejeebers out of us!  But, I’ll honestly admit we could have cared less how much the bill was going to be, we wanted him to see a doctor!  A few hundred dollars later, he was given a clear bill of health and the lack of medical insurance turned out to not be a big deal.

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But, what if something had happened to him in State 2?  What if he ended up with jaundice or a chest infection or even just a cold?  What if he needed more medical care?  How in the world would we have paid for that?!  Amongst everything else, we just shouldn’t have had to worry about our agency not getting medical insurance for Little MPB. We should not have been faced with yet another lie.

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25 Comments on “The Worst Experience of our USA Adoption: Part 5

  1. The fact that you both survived this and are sane, means you both are very strong people emotionally. It has been such a horrible roller coaster, its like, can it get worse and then the next post .. there it is!

    Not sure if you recently saw the news of the adoption agency in US that was actually buying babies from Uganda, from families lying to the Uganda family about sponsoring the kid to US to study, but in reality actually telling the american families some sob story and thus making the entire adoption illegal. They were actually buying and breaking happy families! The truth came out when the kids started talking English and saying happy stories of their childhood!
    Your US agency is just as horrible and they should be publicly defamed. They have no business creating families, I just wonder how many families have actually had to walk away from their child because they could not afford the expense last minute. And the birth mom would have been completely unaware. Your lawyers were strong honest people who cared for you, but sometimes other families don’t have that support. Such a mess!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think I’m done with all the really bad stuff now, so no need to brace yourself for the next one.
      As for the Uganda, I had not heard about that! That is despicable! Absolutely beyond despicable! It’s stories like that one which in part made us want to adopt from the USA – we assumed it wouldn’t be as corrupt. And, in some ways we were right – we know our son’s story, we know why adoption was chosen, we know his birth mother wasn’t forced into it. But we definitely were not expecting, nor were we prepared for the level of corruption we faced. As odd as it is to say, I’ll always be thankful that we were the ones put through this – not Little MPB directly and not Little MPB’s birth mother.

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      • This story, rather stories like this one, are a large part of why we chose the USA. We firmly believed the type of corruption we could face would be nothing like these horror stories.
        And, I have to admit I am really glad the corruption we faced had NOTHING to do with our son’s birth mother. I am 100% confident that she wasn’t forced into this decision for 2 reasons – 1, we know her, and we have talked with her directly (and still do). 2 – our corrupt agency never once spoke to her. our lawyers were responsible for that part of the process, and I will forever be thankful that our agency never had the opportunity to direct their corruption at her. I figure better us, then her. Although, it would have just been better all around if it was no-one.

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  2. Oh no, these people are criminals! In South Africa I would report them to a programme called carte blanche…journalists
    Who cover and expose these kinds of things. Its just not right! Can’t you anonymously report something to someone who would then do their own investigation???

    Liked by 2 people

  3. That’s insane and immoral and I am so sorry that you had to deal with it. Also, our health care system is insane and immoral, so that’s like twice as much insane and immoral that you had to deal with.

    I am so glad that everything turned out OK in the end, but goodness, you should not have been in a position of risking bankruptcy during your adoption! Thank goodness you’re all safe in Canada together now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Honestly because of all the other crazy stuff, it wasn’t something we could worry too much about at the time. But gosh, I don’t know what we would have done if Little MPB ended up needing a bit more medical care without insurance!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Unbelievable! I hadn’t even thought of who pays for the birth and insurance while things are in the process of getting finalized. You think they would have a system for handling these types of issues.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have read all of your blogs this week and I think that agency should no longer be in business. I truly hope this business goes down for what they’ve done to you. It’s totally unacceptable the way they treated you.

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  6. I think about your family and everything you’ve had to go through to get where you are, and then I think about all the other families who go into this trusting that the people they are working with have their family’s interests are heart, and I’m just so sad and angry. I feel like there should be adoption doulas who support the family 100% and can safely call out and report any improper behavior on your behalf. It’s just so wrong and it shouldn’t be one more thing you have to deal with.

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  7. Medicaid is very complicated. I didn’t work with the kid system, but for 9 and a half years, I helped get people on Social Security Disability which included Medicaid (or Medicare which is an only adult one and something Baby MPB wouldn’t have qualified for).
    From what I understand medical coverage for the Medicaid plan is handled state by state differently – depending on the cost of living for that state among other things. But I’m surprised to hear that it just completely disappears as you cross state lines. It may change, but I don’t think it disappears. Also, depending on the state, you might have actually gotten more coverage than the state you were coming from.
    Of course, this is coming from adult coverage, but even so, it’s easier for kids to find coverage, especially so young. Even if adopted.
    I’m just really glad that is all over for you guys, and it makes me SICK that you had to go through all of that. That’s why I worked in that job for so long. This was before the ACA here, where it was even harder for people to get health insurance if they had a pre-existing condition.

    Liked by 1 person

    • From my very brief exposure to Medicaid it is definitely complicated!
      I’m not sure that it just disappeared when we crossed state lines or if it disappeared because Little MPB’s care had changed to that of the agency/us. And therefore he no longer met the criteria? Honestly, I have no idea and I never bothered to figure it out because we were able to afford the one and only out of state appointment.
      Also, good for you for working in that job for so long! The world needs more people like you!

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    • Thank you for the encouragement Sara. We have definitely made it known to Canadian authorities what happened to us and we are investigating appropriate action to take in the USA.

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  8. I agree with everyone else, that this company should be put out of business. They obviously aren’t in it for the right reasons at all. So shameful. I’m so glad that you got through it all okay, and with Little in your arms. It’s all just really so unbelievable, and makes no sense. I’m so sorry.

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  9. I can’t read all the comments right now, but here’s my inside experience with Medicaid. 1) it is by state and does not have to be accepted out of the state of issuance unless it is an emergency and it isn’t reasonable for the person to get back to the original state. It can take a few phone calls back and forth, but the original state is legally required to pay in these cases and the provider is required to accept it. 2) it is illegal to accept out of pocket payments from someone who is on medicaid. For instance, you need a medical device and Medicaid says they will pay $80, but the actual cost of the item is $180. The provider can eat the costs and accept $80 but they cannot request or accept the balance from the patient. Or, say a doctor does not accept Medicaid, you can’t pay out of pocket to see them. 3) usually things can get done at urgent or after hours care for much cheaper than a pediatrician or family doctor.
    I don’t understand why you had to go to a different state with LMPB in the first place, but had their been an emergency Medicaid of the original state would have been required to cover it. It is insane that this agency lied, manipulated, and stole from you.

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  10. Just insane. I remember when my daughter was placed with me, we were able to use her medicaid from her home state. It wasn’t transferred to my state until after we finalized. Of course that was a part of the interstate compact that was negotiated prior to placement. It’s just ridiculous that you would be required to move states, they would require a non-family placement and allow a gap in coverage. For all they were charging you, an ICPC should have been in place even just briefly if you were changing states. In any case, little MPB would have been covered in case of emergency, but that’s not the point. It’s clear they didn’t have *anyone’s* best interest at heart but their own. Just unreal. smh.

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  11. In WI, foster and kids that are adopted are put on badgercare if their parents couldn’t afford/didn’t have insurance. A’s is just running out at the end of this month and then she’s on ours.

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