The Worst Experience of our USA Adoption: Part 2
As I mentioned yesterday, I am doing three posts on the worst experiences of our USA adoption. You can read the first post here.
The second horrible event was when we were in the USA, our agency told us about a new fee. We were told to pay it immediately.
We didn’t argue paying it. In fact, at no time did we argue with them about anything – we learned very quickly that as long as we were in the USA waiting for the judge to sign the paperwork, we were at the mercy of the USA agency. So, we kept our mouths shut and played by their ever-changing, and crazy rules. Quiet frankly, we knew we couldn’t risk pissing them off.
Anyways, we simply asked what the bill was for, as they didn’t even give us an invoice for it, which meant we had absolutely no explanation. I generally think it’s fair to ask why I’m paying something, as in, what service did you provide or will you be providing, that I need to pay you for?
The response to this question still makes my blood boil – Money doesn’t matter. If you don’t like it, or cannot pay it, then just give Little MPB back and go home.
Ummm…first, all the legal placement paperwork prepared by our lawyers, signed by our son’s birth mother and ourselves, does not give them unilateral power to take Little MPB away from us. In fact, the paperwork states that they are overseeing the placement of Little MPB to Mr. & Mrs. MPB – the names are explicit in the legal documents to ensure agencies cannot “change” placements. In all the documents we signed there was no exception for Little MPB to re-homed with any other family – trust me, our lawyers were very clear on this when I asked them. Basically, the agency is legally required to place our son with us, as by this time we have met all the legal requirements to be adoptive parents and the birth parent has explicitly chosen us. So in my mind this threat was nothing short of illegal. Second, do not for a second, think it is okay to suggest to any parent to pay a bill or have your child taken away – that is blackmail. Plain and simple. I’d even go so far as to say it was emotional blackmail.
Again, at no point in time did we say we wouldn’t pay, we just inquired what the additional fee was for. We are fully within our rights to ask these types of questions and should at bare minimum be treated respectfully when we do.
Under no circumstance should adoptive parents be threatened with having their child taken away if they ask simple question about payment.
I will never forgive them for this comment. This agency’s role was supposed to put Little MPB’s needs above all else, and this type of a threat is simply inexplicable to me
Mr. MPB and I are not the type of people to sit back and let abuses happen, but even our lawyers and our Canadian agency advised us to bite our tongues until we got back to Canada. Simply we knew this was a situation where we couldn’t fight for what was right. At least note while our son’s basic care was at risk. If they could dare to make this threat, then what would stop them from breaking the law and actually take our son away from us? No parent, should ever be left wondering this, especially as a result of a adoption agency.
It was this comment that made me realize that our USA agency was nothing more then a profit making machine.
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