Keeping score with my husband is probably one of my biggest failing as a new mother. I’ve tried to stop, yet I keep doing it:
Who does more laundry? Me. Always me.
Who does more cooking? Mr. MPB. Almost always. (Thankfully).
Who does more morning wakes – breakfast, getting ready for the day before we go to work and the nanny arrives? I’m currently at 3 in a row. No weekend sleep-ins for me. And I’ve noticed regardless of the sleep-in duration, whether it’s only 30 minutes or it’s 2 hours, it is frustrating when it’s not even remotely equal.
Who does more 1am / 3am / 5am wake ups? Close to equal. Yet I keep getting sick, I suspect in part because my body just needs more sleep. I thought we had an agreement on Mr. MPB 2 nights, me 1 night. But, alas, that’s not happening in reality. First, I cannot sleep through a crying Baby MPB, Mr. MPB can. Second, even if I don’t go into Baby MPB’s room because Mr. MPB is, I’m still awake…wide awake in fact.
Who does more bedtimes? This one is usually pretty even because Mr. MPB tends to point it out if he’s done 2 in a row. (And honestly, it’s so easy to put him down at night that it’s almost irrelevant – we brush his teeth, snuggle and turn out the lights.)
Who gets more sleep? I go to bed earlier, but I am also doing the morning before work shift. And he goes to bed later, but sleeps in. Usually this is pretty close. But, the real problem is that I also don’t go back to sleep for hours after middle of the night wake-ups (I’m desperate for a solution to this).
Really, as you can tell, this counting is almost solely about sleep.
And, no matter how I count, I seem to get less sleep.
I suspect counting is not good for most first time parents who are both working. I know it’s definitely not good for us. Yet, here I am counting away. When it comes to sleep specifically, I really cannot help but count. At times, I almost feel obsessed with keeping track of who is getting more sleep. Heck, just look back at my blog for the number of posts related to sleep or lack of sleep since I became a mother – it’s a lot more then I’d like to admit….
And then when I continue to come out on the loosing side of the total sleep equation, I now find myself seething in my silent anger. We’ve talked about the equitable split of sleep before. We’ve talked about it a lot in fact. We set up 2 night vs 1 night agreements, yet I’m still up. So, anyways, I’ve stopped talking about, because broken promises piss me off at the best of times, but even more when I’m constantly feeling rundown and tired.
So, tonight, I’m just hoping Baby MPB sleeps through the night better and we all get a bit more sleep. I’d like to feel human tomorrow.
Please remember this is just my side of the story. I’m sure Mr. MPB does his own math and feels like he doesn’t’ get enough sleep and comes out on the loosing end too. But, as I’ve said before, it’s my blog so I get to write about it. If he wants to write about it, he can start his own blog.